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You could ask him to try and find something with an inclusion that might end up underneath one of the prongs instead of right in the middle. Unfortunately, with an SI1 grade, you can have that type of inclusion.
VVS/VS may only have feathering but will be more expensive--you could go for something smaller but with less noticable imperfections.
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Any imperfection you can see with the naked eye is NOT a little imperfection, but in fact SI 1 means that inclusions may be visible without a jewelers' loupe. If you want only inclusions that are not visible without a loupe, you need VS or VVS; any SI stone that you get will have a visible inclusion, although depending on the position they may be able to hide it in the setting to some extent. If the inclusion bothers you, I would downsize the stone - tell the jeweler you want to see what you can get that is VS or VVS in the same price range, and see how big that will be. I would think that you can get maybe a 2.5 ct VS 1 for about the same price. Myself, I would rather have a better stone that is a little smaller, but of course that's a personal choice.
I agree with Suzanno. If you want no inclusions, or only those visible with special equipment you will need to downsize greatly in order to get a better quality diamond for the same price.
I don't know how much you paid for your diamond, but a 3 carat VS diamond is going to run you atleast $50,000.
Do you absolutely love it? Or does that little imperfection keep you up at night? That's what I would ask myself. If the former, then let it go and have a terrific engagement. If the latter - explore the other options that entail some risk so you can be at ease.
Since I'm not a diamond girl(my ring is a 19th century rose gold, naturally imperfect after the centuries it lived through) I think it doesn't matter that much, and you should accept the ring as is.
I also agree with Suzanno and MsB. When FI was shopping for stones, he went with the best stone he could afford, even if it was smaller than he wanted. So mine ended up as a very very very high quality .75 carat princess cut.
I first notice an inclusion in my ring about a week in to owning it...and it killed me. Mostly because I thought it was the most perfect, beautiful thing and knowing that it wasn't perfect nearly broke my heart. :)
But, I also didn't want to hurt my FI's feelings because he went to a lot of trouble and was so happy to give it to me. Therefore I have come to love my diamond, imperfections and all. No one who sees it has ever noticed the inclusion because it is so sparkly! And if someone is inspecting my ring close enough to notice...then they are WAY too nosey. Good luck, I hope you can find something you are happy with!
It depends whether the size of the stone is most important to you. If you want the giant 3 carat stone, you'll have to accept some imperfection unless you're willing to pay exponentially more for it. If you want a perfect stone, it'll have to be much smaller to be at the same price.
I agree with yiska, try to find an inclusion that will be covered by a prong.
I have a tiny inclusion in my diamond, and at the right angle I can see it with my eye, but you know what, I like that. It makes the diamond a little more mine. I'm not perfect, my fiance's not perfect, and I like that the ring is not perfect. perfect is boring, and like MsB said, costs 50k.
Thank you all for writing in. It definitely soothes me to hear what you all have to say. Its also helped me lean more to not changing the stone. 1- Like everyone said, to get a stone w/out inclusions while keeping size will be a lot more $ and the 2 attributes that were important to me were size and sparkle and I certainly have that. Plus, I love my fiancee and to take away what he tried so hard for - well that would be setting a precedent - that he could "never please me".
It looks like a lil pepper is sitting at the top of my stone and when I look at it through the side, u can see the black carbon floating in the middle. Someone however really has to twist my hand and look underneath to notice and if they notice the black dot from the dot, we would have to be standing in the blandest light to see.
the way i see it is if anyone is starring at my ring so closely, they have a problem. Right?
Also, I forgot to mention that if I gave up my diamond that I have now, the jeweler would need 2 have that back before I could choose another diamond. who knows how long it could be, or how nice the next one will be.... there is a risk in that... sometimes a bird in hand is better then 2 in the bush.
I have an inclusion, too! Smack in the middle of my stone. But I still love love my stone, it sparkles and it's beautiful. And this little speck that only I can see makes it more "mine". :) And no one has ever looked close enough to see it.
I had to make that choice too. I chose the smaller stone for the better diamond. In my family (rings get passed down daughter to daughter), the quality is more important than the size. I know me, and I would have obsessed about that inclusion every single time I looked at it. I am very happy with my 1.07 stone.
My fiance chose a better stone in exchange for a smaller one. I still ended up with a beautiful diamond though! (1.5, vs1)
I also had an inclusion in my (1st) diamond. My best advice to you is this: if it bothers you now, it will bother you in the future. It's easier to "fix" the problem now, than wait until months after your proposal (like I did)! the size difference between 3 carats and 2.5 to the untrained eye is definitely not enough in exchange for getting a clearer diamond. just my opinion :)
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If it's really important to you, you could explore having the inclusion removed with a laser. It will leave a tiny drill path (that you should only be able to see with a loupe), but you should be able to have it drilled from the bottom or side, where you're less likely to see the "scar." Sometimes if the inclusion is too large to remove, they can drill a tiny path to the inclusion and bleach it so it's far less noticeable. Keep in mind that these things will make the stone less valuable (although, an engagement ring's monetary value should NOT be important at all, because you aren't planning on ever selling it, right?)
Another thing to mention is that there is a possibility that the inclusion is not in fact just a carbon pindot. It could actually be a teeny tiny gem (like a sapphire or emerald or something) that got trapped inside the diamond. Things like this have frequently been trapped inside diamonds during formation. Often times they are so tiny that you can't really tell that's what they are without microscopic evaluation. But, the idea that you could have a tiny gemstone buried in your ring could be fun.
Plus, having inclusions can be a good thing. Inclusions act as "fingerprints" for your stone. You can have your stone plotted so that you know exactly what's going on with it. That way, if you ever take it in to be repaired/cleaned, or it's ever lost/stolen, you can use that plot of the inclusions to identify your stone and avoid being ripped off! For this reason, I wouldn't want a flawless stone! (Plus, one little chip and that uber-expensive flawless diamond loses a crapload of value!)
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I got an engmt ring, almost 3 cts. SI 1. Great Color, EXTREMELY sparkly, but I noticed that there is an inclusion on the center of the stone (black piece of carbon). The jeweler has said that we could bring the stone back but there are no guarantees as to whats to be with the new stone. He can try to find what we are looking for but sometimes you have to give a little to get a little. Any thoughts? The ring is absolutely gorgeous but there is in fact a little imperfection.