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Hi bees! Was simply wondering....what's the average "stats" for an engagement ring? I've been hearing that price-wise, it should be the cost of three-months' salary and 1 full carat of D-F color with VVS1-IF clarity. That "standard" is pretty high to me....am wondering if I'm in the minority in having that opinion....though I know size/rice shouldn't matter if it comes from your beloved's heart...but there's a part of me that desires a "nice" ring for sentimental reasons because I would like to have it as a family heirloom that I could give to my daughter or daughter-in-law in the future.
I don't think there really is a "standard." It really just depends on your fiance's financial circumstances and your taste. Keep in mind that if your fiance has a pretty good income, 3 months salary could be a huge amount. For example, in my fiance's case, 3 months salary would be over $30K, and my ring definitely did not cost that much. Yet, it is still a very nice ring. So don't feel like your fiance is being cheap because he does not adhere to the 3 month standard. I think I heard somewhere that a one carat size is very common, but again, it all depends! If you are concerned about having a "nice" ring, I would just drop some hints about the styles you like, because having a ring that is "you" will peobably make you happier than having a ring that cost a certain percentage of your fiance's salary :)
I'd say it is whatever you want. Personally I tried on 1 carat rings and felt they looked to weird on my short fingers, plus I have a habit on knocking rings around. So, I wanted a 1/2 carat. When picking out the stone my fiance wanted to get me the best stone because I wanted a smaller one. We ended up with a 1/2 carat princess cut, F color, VS-1 and I think it is just perfect for me and it cost him 1 1/2 months salary. In these economic times I think 3 months salary isn't wise.
I don't think you should base it off of that. I personally care more about the quality than carat size. I have less than a carat and it saves a lot of money by going under because so many people believe you need the carat. I love my fiance and I love my ring and labeling it doesnt make it any better by price or carat or name brand.
I think clarity and color are more important than carat because you could get a large carat with a low quality, but I have always been one for quality over quantity.
O and for the giving it to a future daughter or daughter in law, I think they will feel the same about it. My diamond was given to my fiance by his parents. It was the diamond his father proposed to his mom with. Hearing the carat size and other stats had no meaning compared to the sentimental meaning behind it. I love that it was passsed down from his parents. I hope it brings my marriage as much luck and happiness as it has brought theirs.
To be honest I would have been very upset if he spent that much money on my ring. I love my E-ring , and it end up having more bling then I was expecting , but my center stone is not a diamond . I'm just not a diamond girl. I do think quality of the stone matter more then the size.
I was pretty up front on what I wanted , because I wanted a ring I would like. I also knew that what I wanted would probably have to be made. I think it's important to give hints of what you would like.
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I think since "nice" is so relative a term, if you find that you do have an opinion, be sure to freely express that. Some people don't care, some people do. Some people dont even want a diamond, and others are adamant about having one... my motto is always quality is better than quantity but i have friends that have anything froma 3/4 kt hearts&diamond stone, to over 3kts of almost equal quality - and it truly just depends on the girl.
Personally, although some would probably put me in the "shallow" or "materialistic" category, but i LOVE jewelry, so it was very important to me just because it was... and i expressed that early! and although my FH could have proposed with a pebble off the side of the road and felt as long as the meaning was behind it, that was all that matters, what meant the most was that he took my feelings into consideration and gave me the ring of my dreams... b/c he knew it meant a lot to me.
that being said, your FH can't do that unless they know what you want - or for that matter, what you don't want!!! :)
Ok, so obviously the whole "3-months salary" thing isn't an actual rule. But I've always been curious: is it supposed to be before or after tax?
Anyway, I don't have my ring yet, but I know I've read on these boards about how much difference a higher quality diamond can make. I remember someone saying that the jeweler laid out 3 or 4 rings, and asked them to pick the one with the largest diamond, and they actual picked the one with the smallest! I think the cut really helps determine how big the diamond is (if you're interested in having it look big)
Keep in mind that DeBeers (the world's larger diamond producer and near-monopoly) invented the "standards" for what an engagement ring should look like and cost, so it's all marketing hype. Your fiance should spend what he is able to comfortably spend on something you geniunely like. It doesn't have to be a diamond, it doesn't have to be a certain size, it doesn't have to cost 2(3?) months salary, it's up to you and him to figure out what is reasonable.
You don't even have to have an engagement ring, if you don't like jewelery and would rather spend that money on something else! I even know someone who got engagement cabinets instead of a ring because they were redoing a kitchen and she really, really, really wanted nice kitchen cabinets in the house they were going to live in for the next 30-40 years.
Three months salary seems very steep to me. We did one months salary (he is a teacher). I'm pretty sure there is no diamond size standard. I went by what looked good on my finger and was in our price range. I think that the ring is more about a) the symbolisim behind it and b) a ring you love and want to wear every day.
Good luck
I'm a combination of Irishgirl and BunnyBlue. Because my fingers are short, 1 carat stones are way too big on my hand in my opinion. So I got a 1/2 carat center 3 stone ring with flanking sapphires - not quite 1 carat total. It is the perfect size for my hand!
As I have never been particularly fond of diamonds, I did consider an emerald or sapphire center stone. But because I am also hard on my hands and, therefore, rings - I elected for a diamond as it is harder and more difficult to damage. My fiance did save for two years so he could "splurge" (without having to go beyond his means) and bought me a better quality diamond. I must tell you - despite my past dislike for diamonds - I love my engagement ring!
I do think the 3 months salary thing is a marketing ploy and places unnecessary stress on the men we love. A gift from the heart is the most precious gift of all :D
According to my FI, the average size and cost of a wedding ring is 1ct, 3K. However, a great clarity, good cut 1ct stone can be 7K. So you can imagine how ring costs can vary. According to my FI source, 
two month salary is what the jewelry stores are shopping these days.
For me, I just wanted something classy and that we both loved. I am small and petite and didn't want anything too large. We looked together beforehand and because he was making this investment for me, they were all beautiful.
My FI ended up going out on a limb when he went to a shop his deceased father used to frequent. I ended up with a gorgeous fancy yellow diamond set in platinum and gold, just over a carat. He felt it was unique, sentimental, and took a lot of time picking it out. Swoon. Of course, I love it. But I probably would have loved whatever he picked out for me.
Point is, there is no formula. I think you need to consider what he can afford, what fits for you, and whether you will like it in 15 years.
I think the whole 3 month thing is ridiculous. Even if my fiance was loaded and making tons of money, I would never allow him to spend so much on my ring! It's just one ring! Also, considering how forgetful I am, it makes absolutely no sense ot me to buy a bank busting ring. That said, I also don't think a diamong ring is necessary. A girlfriend of mine got a ring with an emerald in it as the center stone and it's beautiful!
I just helped my cousin pick out a gorgeous ring. We went to a diamond merchant based on a friend's recommendation and picked out the diamond. It was a VS1 and an E. Having gone though the process, I can say that a VS1 is fine as well as some VS2s. At that level, the inclusions cannot be seen by the naked eye. Having an excellent cut, and color are more important in my non-expert opinion than clarity once you get to a VS1 with few inclusions. Also, the ratio, floresence, and making sure your table and depth are within the ideal ranges indicate a quality gem. Once we picked out the diamond, we got the band made from a jeweler the diamond merchant recommended.
Even considering all of the above, it's not so much the ring but what it stands for - a symbol of your fiance's love for you and a representation of his desire to spend his life with you. It sounds cheesy but it's true.
Erindesmar, I could have written your post... fancy yellow diamond, just over a carat, set in platinum and totally gorgeous. It ended up nearly meeting "guidelines", but it wasn't about marketing, it just sort of worked out that way. It's hard to block out all that stuff, but the love is what is important...
The thing about 3 months salary is just a marketing ploy. The trick it to get a good cut & good quality diamond. And if you are interested in a diamond that's about a carat, I suggest getting one just under (e.g. .93ct). Just doing that could literally save you 1K. The price jump up to an actual carat is ridiculously expensive.
I've always heard 2 mos. salary.
Personally, my FI proposed without a ring and had just had to pay for surgery and repairs on his truck, and I was pretty anxious for one. Plus I didn't want him spending a ton of money on a piece of jewelry. I'd rather pay down our student loans so that we can buy a house sooner!
Even so, I ended up with an amazingly brilliant, near colorless .62 carat stone that I adore. It's smaller than a lot of the ones I see posted online, but that's fine with me.
I really think that you should just look around and see what you like. If you don't like the bigger stones, but he really wants to spend the $ on you, then go for a smaller, better quality stone with a pricier band.
I went with the heart when choosing a ring for my women. I wanted something that I knew she would want to wear for the rest of her life. The setting was as much as the diamond, but its beautiful and she loves it!!!! Its also one of a kind creation from Soho Gem in NYC. Its not the biggest nor nearly expensive it just has incrediable meaning. Check out the pictures I took here: http://www.rwagnerimagine.com/blog.
It really depends on your tastes and your fingers. My FI bought be a 1ct princess and it is perfectly sized to my finger. I probably wont ever upgrade because anything bigger would look gaudy on my hand. I have a friend who got engaged just after us that has super skinny fingers and she wears a 0.5 ct with a art deco framing style and its proportional to her fingers. It really depends on tastes and hands.
The whole 3 months salary thing was made up by the diamond industry as a marketing ploy. What your FI should spend on a ring is what you think you can afford. For us, it was the first financial decision we made together. Because, think about it, any debt your FI has when you get married is going to affect you too. Odds are that unless your have an extraordinary man who has no consumer debt and has been saving for your ring, he's not going to pay cash for it. So at least part of that debt effectively becomes yours. The cost of the ring could mean that he can't afford to contribute as much to the cost of the wedding, or the two of you can't afford what you would like as a honeymoon, or you end up not having the money for a down payment on a house.
What DH did was to look at what he could afford as far as cash down, and then he decided that given his current financial situation (debt he was trying to get paid off before the wedding, what we thought the wedding would cost, and his monthly income) it was reasonable to spend a total of twice what he had as cash on hand. And then we went shopping to see what we could get for that.
How does that relate to his monthly income? I think that's sort of a nonsensical question, but it was just over one month pre-tax. (And that was $13k, so it's a lot of ring). A more appropiate question would be how did it relate to his discretionary income - the amount of money has has left over every month after he pays his bills. I believe it took him 4 months to pay it off, which we though was reasonable. I don't think it would have been reasonable to still have been paying for the ring when we got married.
And while it's a nice idea to pass on the ring, it's value (unless your FI really has $30k or more to drop) is going to be primarily sentimental. Even the quality of diamond you're talking about, in a size of 2.5 ct or less, is not really rare and therefore has little resale value unless it's a colored diamond (pink, blue, or fancy yellow). Odds are you're still going to be interested in your own rings when your daughter gets married - you won't be that old. My mom certainly isn't parting with hers anytime soon, and neither my sister nor I would want her to. And while it might be nice to have some day - mom's ring is totally not my style, so I wouldn't wear it. I would either get the stone reset, or I'd let it sit in a box on my dresser.
I have a ring that works well on my hand (1.5ct -- VS1, F color, excellent cut -- center stone flanked by 4 other matched diamonds) -- FI is a great saver and spent cash on it. If we'd had to work to pay it off, I would have probably wanted something smaller.
It was still over $10K but far less than 3-months salary.
I have a friend whose hubby is a lawyer and she wears a .90 ct center stone, and I have a friend whose hubby works as a retail manager and she wears a 1.25 center stone. It depends on what looks great on your hand, and your personal style. My sister has .5 ct and loves it.
I'd say that the cut is probably the most important element. When we were looking at center stones (stone before the ring! it's the most important part), our jeweler showed us a handful of stones in the same size-range (between 1.4 and 1.75) with different cuts, clarities and colors. The ones with the better (very good, excellent, ideal) cut picked up the light more, they really looked amazing and a better cut made the smaller stones seem bigger.
3 Months! Holy crap! I thought it was 2!
I know very few couples who actually spend 2 months salary on their engagement ring... it seems like... SO MUCH MONEY! Just thinking about working for 2 months straight just to buy a ring seems really funny to me. I estimate my ring costs a little over a month's salary, and even that sounds a little crazy now that I think about the actual "labor" involved with buying a small bauble like that.
With the credit crunch right now, I think it's more important to buy a ring that you can pay for with cash, or if you pay for it on a credit card, be realistically able to pay it off within a couple months... because wedding expenses follow right after ring expenses, and the debt can just keep piling up! Admittedly, Mr. Peng borrowed some money from his dad so that he wouldn't have to put my ring on his CC, so he paid his dad back rather than accrued a lot of interest on his credit card.
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there is no average specs, like a lot of the pp already said, it depends on the couple. my bf and i actually just went ring shopping over the christmas holiday. after trying on a few rings, we found that a carat is good for me; most rings over that look weird on my hand. as terms of price, it should be something he can easily afford, even if it comes from saving a few bucks every month or so. its not about how much you spend but how you spend it. you can drop a lot of cash on a ring and it can look gaudy and you can also spend a little and have a ring that's correctly cut that will look like it cost a whole lot more.
and having a "nice" ring for future gifting, if it's yours and something you treasure, it will always have a huge sentimental value for whoever you gift it too.
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I really don't think there are standards you "should" abide by, it should all be based on preference and how much your FI can afford. My FI is VERY old fashioned and refused to look at rings together- not even once, despite much talk about marriage etc. So, I told him that what I cared most about was quality, and that I liked round diamonds. That's it.
He secretly flew to my home town to look at rings at my family's beloved jewlers and apparently spent an entire afternoon comparing two rings that were in his budget (only like $300 apart!) because he couldn't decide. The first one was a 1.7 ct round stone that was K quality, SI1- the second, 1.03 ct round stone but E color, VS1. Thank GOD he listened to me and went with the smaller, better stone. There have been times that I've looked at other women's rings that are larger and thought how pretty or "noticeable" they are, but when I look at mine and see how it sparkles, I'm so happy he went with that instead of a bigger stone. I actually get a lot of comments from my friends asking why my ring sparkles so much! I would have been just as happy if my ring was .5 ct's if it was the same quality, honestly. But that's because what I personally care most about is quality!
Also, I know people who have spent $30-$40K on their wife's ring and that is amazing to me. My FI did not go by months salary, he just saved up what he wanted to spend and bought it when he had all the money.
I worked with a girl who had a HUGE engagement ring. It had to be 3-4 carats. Unfortunately to get a diamond that size she sacraficed quality. The stone was far from colorless and did not sparkle at all. And that's all we commented on. It didn't look nice at all.
I have seen many of my friends and co-workers with larger stones than mine, but none of theirs sparkles like mine. And that's what matters to me.
So, I would say you need to decide what is more important to you, quality or size?
At the risk of causing every girl here to gasp:
Have you considered a lab created stone? They are flawless, colorless, cost considerably less, and have no socio-economic bad kharma (I'm not going there). Anyway, you can't tell the difference and if your FH wanted to buy another stone down the road when you have more money, you could get it reset.
Don't freak about the 4 Cs, just two Cs: Cut and Carat. That's all anone else can see anyway.
I don't think that there are 'standards' for a ring. It is whatever you and your fiance want it to be. Personal opinion and knowledge. Don't buy a pre-set diamond. The quatlity that you will get in a diamond is better if you buy it separate from the band. It doesn't mean it will cost less/more because you buy it separate, but it will be much much better clarity, cut and color. My fiance bought a beautiful 1 carat ring for me with diamonds set in the band for a decent price and the color and shimmer it has is stunning. Focus on the cut and clarity. It will make a world of difference. Women who have looked at my ring comment on how the color is beautiful and how the light reflects beautifully from it. Not the size. Hope this gives you some insight!
I firmly believe whatever your FI gives you, you should feel grateful for what you receive because it comes from the heart. There are some girlfriends of mine that for some reason are trying to keep up with the joneses which kill me. They complain that their diamond isn't big enough.
Even though my e-ring isn't the largest and best out of my girlfriends, I love it and always will. My FI picked the best that he could do and it fits my personality and style just fine.
My ring did not cost my fiance one month's salary, but I will admit it did come close. The center diamond is a bit less than a 1/2 carat. I have about another quarter of a carat in pave diamonds around it. My diamond does have inclusions, but they are not visible to the naked eye, and frankly that was all that mattered to me. I mean obviously I didn't want a diamond where you could see the inclusions from a mile away, but most jewlers don't sell diamonds like that anyway.
I never thought of "two month's salary" when looking for the ring. I think it's an outdated sentiment invented by the diamond industry.
I love my e-ring. I didn't ask for it but DH did a fantastic job picking it out himself and having it made. I think e-rings should depend on his financial situation and your taste. I have short stubby fingers so big rings don't look good on me. Mine is a good size diamond but set extremely low to the finger on a tiny diamond band: 1.7 carats, VS1, E color, ideal cut. The cost of the diamond was about 1.5-2 months of his salary, depending on how you look at it, but he was able to pay it in cash. It would break my heart if he went into debt for the ring and I would have been just as happy with a smaller diamond (carat-wise) without sacrificing the quality of the diamond.
Do not waste your money on a diamond of IF-VS1 clarity - that is silly. Cut is the most important of the "C's" - in my opinion. The better the cut (Ideal, Excellent, etc), the more sparkle the diamond will have. Also, if you purchase an ideal cut stone, you can get away with SI clarity. I would not recommend going below SI2. After cut, I would focus on color. Colorless is the D-F range - for an engagement ring, I would try to stay within that range.
I think 3 months salary is a good estimate for how much he should spend. You are going to be wearing it for the rest of your life and it's a reflection on him as well.
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I don't think you should think about price at all, in terms of your e-ring. I had some misgivings about diamonds, for reasons I'm sure I don't have to expand on, but we live in a community where status, wealth and the C-C-C-C's matter to the women/ people around me.
So, we got a lab-made diamond from diamong nexus. Paid fractions of the cost and I love it. Picture below.
Apparently I'm way below the average on these boards. I have a simple white gold solitaire ring. The diamond probably isnt bigger than .25 carats. I have no idea how much my fiance spent, nor do I care to know. It just doesn't matter, its the commitment and everything the ring stands for that really matters. The wedding band I picked out costs $300 and my fiances ring cost $400. Its whats right for us and our way of life.
About your ring being an hierloom, chances are very good that you and your daughter or daughter-in-law will have very different tastes and they will end up not wearing the ring, or using the diamond in another piece of jewelry.
That standard seems very high. I'd be upset if we spent that much on my engagement ring.
My fiance and I did not want to put a price on our love.. and I did want a nice ring, but it the end we realized the ring does not make the relationship or marriage last.
A solitaire diamond no bigger than 1/3 a carat is perfect! He spent less than one month's pay and I love my ring =)
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I too had misgivings about the diamond industry and was open to other stones, but my fiance was set on diamonds... so he picked out an amazing vintage ring that is about 1ct center and 2+ ct total. i found out the cost when i insured it and he spent less than half of its appraised value! ( a little over 1 Months Salary... Cash).
i think most girls would be happy even if he gave you a peice of string as your ring... its the sentiment not the object that counts! 
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We also have misgivings about purchasing a diamond. We researched diamond alternatives. My fiance ended up surprising me with a real diamond that was mined in Canada (complete with a serial number and canadian flag). I know he spent much much more on the diamond than he would've spent on a similar stone on the market - but we are both much happier knowing the origins of the stone and that it is most certainly conflict free.
The salary rule is silly because everyone has different expenses and lifestyles.
And Debeers does have a monopoly on the business - it is a lot of hype - there is plenty of internet reading on the topic of their marketing. Get a sapphire or a different stone if you want.
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I say get what you want, and don't try to adhere to any standard. Three months salary is a totally arbitrary number anyway, since that could be anything from $5k to $30k or more depending on your fiance's income. For mine, it would have been around $20k which in my opinion is just way WAY too much to spend on a ring.
Of course, I also knew I didn't want anything fancy. My fiance concentrated on quality over quantity, and I was totally ok with that. My stone is just over a 1/2 carat (0.59) and honestly, I can't imagine wearing anything much bigger. However, he got a great cut, near colorless, and only a few (invisible to the naked eye) flaws. I've received so many comments about how beautiful and sparkly it is that people don't even notice the size.
Bottom line -- get something that both you and your fiance are happy with!
mine was about 1.5 mos salary, and we are both doing really well financially right now, but figure we can add some bling to the (plain) band later if wanted...I would concentrate the $ on the center stone, tho, since you can add side ones later IF you want
3 mos seems like a bit much, and mine is slightly less than 1 ct in the center, even though we both make more than the ave household in our area...
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My ring is about 3/4 carats and is perfect for my hand. My FI did a phenomenal job at buying the ring since he researched everything and got a certified colorless diamond. I would have ecstatically said yes regardless of what he presented me with.
The standards for the e-rings were set by retailers to maximize what they can "get" out of clients. Ideally, you or your FI should not feel obligated to spend any minimum on your e-ring. I know this comment may strike up some backlash in people, but I also do not believe that women should have a "standard" in what they expect their ring to be like. If I was a man and my girlfriend said she expects more than 1 carat, I would question her motives and whether the love was truly there. The value of the sentiment and commitment symbolized in wanting to spend your life with someon is what is truly priceless.
I'm all for doing what feels right to you!
I flopped back in forth from wanting a 'traditional' ring to soemthing unique and more 'me'. In the end I got exactly what I wanted... a .1 carat Chocolate conflict free (very important to me!) diamond on an artisan made band. It's unconventional and it's totally me.
And the best part? All the $ my FI didn't spend on the ring is going towards the house we'll be buying this year - which was much more important to me.
So do what makes you happy - and don't worry about what you see in the magazines, and on the fingers of friends and family!
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