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Ohhh, I don't have any answers for you, but I'm very afraid of this, too!
I actually put an asterisk next to all guests names who have children to make sure that either FI or I purposely speak to them about it before the wedding (casually, of course, not like crazy people)!
Our wedding was this past Friday and it was "Adults Only". I'm happy to report that not a single person took it upon themselves to bring their offspring. It's a good thing too because little Johnny's mommy and daddy would have gotten an ear full from me and then more than likely asked to leave. No kids means no kids. Period.
Ours is an adults only as well making my brother the exception but it makes it easier having the wedding in Vegas as well. Not really a place for children.
We'll be making it clear on the invites that children aren't invited unless they are named on the invite, as we are very tight on numbers (I plan on being polite, but firm and to the point). Most people we know don't have children, which is fortunate, but I want to make it clear, and we'll be following up written invites with a verbal mention; ours is ages away but we've already mentioned to people who have children, or people we know who are planning on having children very soon, that children won't be invited.
I don't imagine anyone will turn up with children, as we know everyone really well, they know us really well, and everyone we've spoken to has really not been bothered, so I can't imagine anyone choosing to ignore us and bring their kids regardless. If they do bring them, I honestly have no qualms about telling them politely they can't come in due to numbers. If someone disrespected my wishes, then I'd question how good a friend they were, and if I wanted someone like that there; I wouldn't, and it wouldn't bother me if it caused a falling out.
Of course not everyone feels so strongly, so it's pretty personal how you handle these things; I'm sure lots of brides would ignore it and allow it for an easy life, but on principle I wouldn't as I'd find it rude, and disrespectful not just to me, but to those who had left their children at home.
we made it VERY clear that children werent invited to our VERY formal wedding, and yet there was this random kid running around the reception. to this day, im not sure who she belonged to. Thankfully, she was very well behaved (probably because she was the only kid) and was all dressed up so she was acting like a princess (it was actually kinda cute)
however, when we got our pictures back, there were actually TWO kids there!!! i think they belonged to some of the friends of my MIL, but still dont really know.
oh well.
We thought that my cousin was going to try and sneak in her 4 kids, but she can't make it afterall.
@Bao: Yes I did. That is because we could no longer afford a babysitter for OOT guests babies. It was my 2yo nephew, who is like having 3 at the sme time hahahha. My new SIL had to sit outside with him the majority of the time because he was cranky, but he slept through the ceremony so it worked out.
Howver, some of my family were pissed at me for letting him come but what could we do? They live 15 hours away and we had no money and no one available to watch him
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We are having an adults only ceremony AND reception. I have this fear that someone will STILL try and bring their kids. We actually had our pastor add his kid to the RSVP. Ugh come on people. So, I can avoid the ones I catch on the RSVP's but I still fear someone will show up with a kid or six. Did this happen to anyone? How did you handle it?