Post # 1
Our agreed upon plan is to wait two years before having a baby. But I think for him that means we won’t begin TTC for two years. But lately, I’m thinking I want to have a baby or at least be pretty darn preggers in two years. I almost brought it up to him last night but then I chickened out.
How many of you had to amend your TTC timelines with your DHs after marriage?
Post # 3
We bumped our timeline up by about four months, but it was a mutual decision. DH was actually the one who wanted a baby more and I figured it could take awhile so we might as well start trying. Plus, since we did conceive quickly, it resulted in a spring baby instead of a late summer/early fall baby – I’m looking forward to not being pregnant during the hottest part of summer!
I don’t think it would hurt anything to at least have a conversation about it with your DH. Just tell him you want to clarification as to whether you’ll be TTC in two years or actually having a baby at that time.
Post # 4
@howtobeawife: This is interesting, me and my husband actually have that same timeline, and I have been thinking the exact same thing! Before we got married, we always talked about waiting two years, and I told him I want to at least be pregnant by my 30th birthday (2 yrs, 7 months after wedding). Before the wedding, I was totally agreed on this, and really didn’t think I’d be ready for kids for about another two years. But I have gotten some serious and unexpected baby fever!
Also, I’ve always been super worried that we’ll have fertility problems, and I’ve been on the pill for ten years, so I’m worried that it might take a while to get pregnant.
I know I just need to talk to him about it, but I’m a little nervous. We also have been talking about him possibly starting a master’s program, so I’m really hoping he doesn’t bring up wanting to postpone TTC because of that.
After typing this, I realized I really just need to have a good conversation with my husband! 🙂
Post # 5
I’m right there with you ladies! I’m either going crazy or have crazy baby fever. Originally I was thinking 1-1.5 years after our wedding. DH was thinking about a year. Now, I feel ready to start now….or in reality like Feb. I brought it up the last few days to DH (he’s one that needs days to digest things) and I don’t think he’s quite there to thinking that soon, but there was a time where he mentioned may like 6 months after our wedding.
But, I will tell you…when I brought it up the first night….he looked at me like I was nuts and he was horrified! But over the past few days it’s set in a little better.
Good luck to you!
Post # 6
I am already trying to get DH on board with it because my mom had endometriosis and it took her 5 years to have a successful pregnancy (and even with that I was a twin and she lost my twin). Unlike her, I have already been on the pill for 5 years so I am a little worried about that too. He and I are both ready, but He wants to wait until we have a house. We can afford one, but we need to build due to the housing market in our state and that could take 1 1/2 years or more. I don’t think there is ever a perfect time to have a baby, and I feel like he thinks that a house will make everything perfect. Boo…
Post # 7
I don’t think you are as much ammending as you are “CLARIFYING” so that is where I would start the conversation. When does he want to hold a baby in his arms. Then work him backwards from there.
If he really does not want to TTC for 2 years…. find out why. He may have valid reasons that need to be addressed…. just like your reasons for wanting to TTC on a timeline so that you give birth in 2 years.
I would think communication is the most important thing here. Each of you needs to be able to talk about what you want and why you want it. And then you each need to hear the other’s perspective.
Post # 8
DH and I discuss our TTC plans alot lately. He wants to wait until we are settled in house of our own for a year before we start trying.(hopefully about a 2 years out) I wanna be trying and or newly pregnant when we move into the house. We are discussing how we can meet in the middle and make it work for both of us. Communiction is the key it seems.
Post # 9
This topic comes up an awful lot for us now. Before we were married we said we’d like to start TTC right away for medical reasons. We sort of did and sort of didn’t — no charting or doctors, just no protection.
We’re almost at a year now and began discussing if it was time to at least talk to my doctor again about the issues we knew we had coming…I’m not sold. Which is completely the opposite of what anyone who knows us would think. DH is the one wanting babies asap and I’m fine with waiting longer. I think it’s because I’ve still got a year and a half of grad school, though I am working full-time and it isn’t a financial issue. I think part of it is psychological though, part of me is pretending to be naive enough to think we can get knocked up without medical intervention. It’s an interesting journey, this marriage stuff.
Post # 10
Oh, yeah. When we got married the plan was no kids. I ended up changing my mind on that one. I’m glad I brought it up when I started thinking about it. It got him thinking about it, and he changed his mind, too. Now he’s the one who keeps bringing up having a baby. We had a plan of starting when I turned 32, but I now have some new job prospects, so it will probably have to wait a year or so after that. Like all big life decisions, it’s important to keep an open dialogue and update the plan as necessary. That’s part of what keeps life fun. It will happen eventually.