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SO and I discussed rings last night, and I suggested ring shopping together but then told him my ideal: a 1.5 to 2 carat pear with 4 round cut side stones, and a matching band. I priced this on Bluenile recently and came out with about $11K to 14K - EEK!
That's why I think ring shopping together would be best, perhaps if I see something in person then I will decide that it's a better fit for me. I physically squinted my eyes and blurted out the price, and he laughed at me for looking like I was being stabbed.
I know a lot of gals prefer Tiffany, which price generally in that range for a 1 to 1.5 carat. My thought is more bling for the dollar!
Do your ring ideas change?
Yup. Honestly, i think 11-14K for a 2 carat stone WITH side stones AND matching band sounds a little low??? I would expect that price JUST for the center stone.
Sounds you just scale down to what you can afford and what you are ok with you and your FI spending money on. What with us having paid for our own wedding, I didn't wanna get too greedy! But, I know that if my parents had paid for the wedding we'd have been able to afford a bigger solitaire. No worries, though =]. You just gotta work with what you can afford!
I've pretty much wanted the same ring for quite a while now...I've always known I wanted a sapphire center stone and that cuts the price dramatically. I'm fairly certain I want a pear shaped sapphire(about 2 carat) halo ring. I've gone back and forth over what cut I want the sapphire but that's the only thing that has changed.
But of course I'll be happy with whatever he gives me.
Yeah - once FH realized how expensive diamonds are he completely changed his mind about ring shopping together and off we went to Tiffanys. I was a little shocked about what I ended up liking the best and it was easy enough for him to buy a more affordable version from Blue Nile.
Good luck!!
ummm...you definitely need to go wholesale! talk to other brides in chicago and find out where they got their rings. i know soooo many couples (in Texas so i dont know if i can recommend anyone) that have gone through diamond wholesalers and gotten great deals.
my brother (who is unfortunately no longer engaged, and the b**** kept the ring after breaking off the engagement...a whole other story) bought a 2.8 carat round with the classic tiffany's setting (6-prong, platinum) for around $10K and it was appraised for $30K! it was perfect diamond but since it wasn't in a blue box or whatever it wasnt crazy $$$.
my advice would be find your ideal ring and then go to a private jewelry/wholesaler and have it made! i love tiffany's as much as the next girl but i'm also practical when it comes to deals!! :)
just a thought....
I posted a thread about this topic a few weeks ago
Its all about how I kept "downgrading" my dream ring just to get one on my finger (no luck in that department, by the way, lol)
Basically my dream ring is a 2-3 carat Emerald cut. I'm ending up with a 1.5 carat round. Lol, wanting to be engaged will REALLY shift your perspective. There was NO WAY we could have afforded an emerald cut of that size at our age, and I didn't want a CZ stand in. So we are using a family stone that isn't the shape I've dreamed of, but still has a lot of bling.
I agree with shopping around. Diamonds By Lauren has a lot of beautiful pear shaped stones everytime I visit their site, and their prices are usually very good.
Actually that's a great price for that much bling! ;) What you might want to do is actually go into a few stores, either with or without your boyfriend, to try on some different styles. What I thought I wanted and what I ended up wanting were not the same once I saw things on my finger. :) With any luck, you'll find you like something smaller that doesn't make you cringe at the price!
i originally wanted a ring that was 8K. FI is practical and doesn't like payment plans, so there was no way he was paying any other way than with cash. it would have taken a while for him to save up 8K and i got really anxious to get engaged so i researched less expensive options, found something more reasonable, and was engaged about 3 weeks later!
My dream ring changes with my income, to be honest. I guess I have two dream rings: what would I buy if I won the lottery, and what ring would I be MOST happy about my bf buying me. Because to be honest I would be PISSED if my bf spent 15K on a ring-- we are supposed to be buying a house next year! Not that I wouldn't love the ring, but in balance with what else we want out of life, it isn't my dream to have that ring now.
So, what is my "if i won the lottery" ring? A 2ct(ish) cushion solitaire on an infinity band (basically, Tiffany novo). (I tried on a 1.76ct novo at Tiffany, was $33,000. Online it looked like I could find essentially the same for maybe 15,000).
What ring do I really really hope my guy buys me? A 1ct(ish) cushion solitaire on a plain or half-eternity band from an online dealer. (I'm thinking maybe $4,000-6,000).
I feel like that amount is okay for my bf to spend based on what we both make and what we need to do in the next few years. Now, if he had a ton of cash? I'm sure I'd move towards the "lottery" dream ring. :)
I'm with you girls are just wanting to get engaged already, ring size or price be damned! I never wanted a very large diamond - I have size 4 fingers so I look better with something dainty, and I don't wear a lot of jewelry. But my ideal center stone would have been a full 1 carat. Still, I was SO READY to be engaged to the love of my life, I seriously did not care. I understood that he is a recent college grad, working as a teacher, and doesn't have the budget for a very expensive ring. I also appreciate that he didn't want to go into mounds of debt. We have an acquaintance that took out a $16,000 loan for his fiancee's engagement ring, and not only do I personally believe it shows that their priorities are out of whack, its also unfortunate that she will likely be helping to pay off her own ring for many years to come.
So having said that, I told my FI my two priorities were a high quality center stone and some kind of eternity/pave band. I got a beautiful Ritani ring, in the classic Ritani setting, with a gorgeous, near flawless .71 carat center stone. I couldn't be happier and it was what we could afford, so no regrets. Also, he went through a wholesaler so it was half of what it was appraised as.
I didn't think about the price until he showed me one and I was like, "That's entirely too much!"LOL. It was $3K. He had no problem with it, but I told him to bring the price down a little.
Right now though, I just wish he would ask without the dang ring!LOL
We talked about ring budgets last night! I have no idea what I *really* want since we haven't been to try on anything yet, but our budget is limiting. It's cool, though, cause it forces me to figure out what's REALLY important!
i definitely cringed and am most happy with him spending less than 500 (i have really expensive student loans and bills). gosh it's strange what getting older and reprioritizing for your lifestyle does. years ago when my priorities were out of whack i wanted and received a 2.16 carat ring (i still had the same debt but cared more about the joneses hence my current financial situation)
Seeing stuff in person is *so* different. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted from looking at pictures online. I was thinking 1 carat (that's what I consider 'big'). It turns out everything is much more shiny and the stuff I had loved online turned out to be too flashy for me. FI ended up picking the perfect ring, 1/2 carat with two smaller side stones and a tapered bead set band. I love it!
I would really recommend going to the jewelry store and looking around.
I have never heard of anyone thinking of their ideal carat size before, ever. Everyone I know (and I worked in a jewellery shop for over a year) describes what they're looking for in terms of cut/stone type/style of ring.
Looking for a ring based on carat size is totally foreign to me. I'm in the UK, perhaps that is more common in the US.
Yep, go to the store!! I thought I knew what I love but then trying things on and seeing them in person was WAY different. Also -does Chicago have a jewelry district? We got my ring at the jewelry district in LA - I have over 2cts of G quality diamonds in white gold, hand-engraved and set- and it was just about 5k. BEAUTIFUL, high quality ring for a GREAT price. (well, I cringe at how expensive it sounds, but really, the ring was fantastic value for the quality)
@noornoor - My FI and I got my ring through a family connection. Since you are in Chicago, I'd love to help you out. PM me if you are interested in setting up an appointment.
wow. although i did once try on a GORGEOUS e-ring once in mexico about 2 years ago that was a whopping $10K, i would NEVER dream of asking my SO to drop that much for a ring. i've also never been one who is into carat size, super precious metals (like palladium - whatever that is!), blah blah blah. style and uniqueness is what the the theme in all of my jewelry is. when i started researching about a year ago, i fell in love w/antique and estate rings, many of which are somehwere between 0.5 and 1 carats and generally cost $4K or less, which i feel is pretty reasonable. i've never said my dream ring is x and it costs y, but one of his former co-workers spent $14K on an e-ring for someone he wasnt even 100% sure of. to which i responded "WHAT!?!!" we've had to move a lot recently and neither or us is in great financial sted, so if a conversation were to arise again, i would prob tell him i just want A ring and for it to happen soon rather than wait for him to save up $$ to get THE ring :) i don't want a boring solitaire, but if that's what i end up getting, i'll still be the happiest girl alive!
I am the same as MsMamaBear, last night we were talking about rings and I asked did he have a budget and he said no! So I showed him a ring that was 2,000.00 and he was like--that's it!
I am thinking in my head, you better not go off and spend too much money on an engagement ring! Now don't get me wrong, a girl loves herself some diamonds but I also love my sweetie. I really don't want him to have to try to impress "others" by buying an expensive ring! As long as it's a nice diamond with good clarity--I am fine!
I was pretty upfont on what excatly I wanted: a 1 carat colorless, VS1 or 2, princess solitare with diamonds all around the band (I grew up with my mom really valuing a good diamond) and he knew I would be disappointed if I didn't get that...but he knew that even if he did get me a smaller solitare of course I would of happily accepted and been happy, but he knew deep down its not what I wanted. Thank goodness my dream ring was in his budget, he saved & then only watched his spending closely for an additional few months. The kicker was when we added the cost of the matching band, togther my rings cost him almost 10K, oops! BUT once again he just watched his spending and is not in debt :)
Ring sticker shock was the first of many to hit me through the wedding planning process. I'm perfectly happy with my 1ct total weight, 8 month engagement and no ring debt!
Honestly, I did not have a perfect or dream ring in mind. I really did not care and would have married my honey with no ER and just worn a plain band. However, that was not the case but I do CRINGE at times when I think of the amount of money I am wearing on my left hand. Now dont get me wrong, I am in love with my ring and will treasure it always, but the ER and band total around 7K and I can think of so many other things we can do with the money for our house we are building. But thats me and some day when I am not paying contractors or building costs, I will stop worrying about it. :)
FWIW I have a friend who got a 2c ring with 1c in side stones channel set eternity band and then her wedding band is about 1c channel set eternity band from Blue Nile. She paid around 15k (well he did) but it was appraised about 20k. Blue Nile is a great site and she had a wonderful experience.
if you're looking for a good pear shape, you will want to see them and look at the dimensions. There is a length/width ratio, and each pear looks different in carat size depending on the ratio. When I saw your price quote, it actually seems very low if you're looking for a quality stone. Pears are BEAUTIFUL (I have a pear, too!) and you want to make sure you get the right dimension for your fingers. Good luck:)
the ring i tried on and loved at Carlyle and Co was 30 GRAND! Isn't that nuts??? Def shop around, you'll find a ring that won't make you feel like you got shanked by the price.
I encourage ring shopping together even if he makes the final decision in the end to surprise you (that's what happened to me - we shopped together, but he sensed what I liked, then surprised me with a ring). Ring shopping initiates certain conversations about finance and budgeting as a family unit - which I believe is a conversation that a couple must have before getting engaged and certainly before getting married. It might be tough, but it's a process that a couple should go through together and come out of it with a decision together. :) IMHO.
BTW, yes, I so(!) cringed when finding out the prices of dream rings. In the end, I got what I want...although it is not what I thought I wanted...does that make sense?
I have no clue what my "perfect" ring would be, so I guess I couldn't cringe at its cost...
My bf was telling me of a guy he met, that made maybe 80k a year, and got his gf/fiancee an 8k engagement ring. He said he hoped I wouldn't want an 8k engagement ring, and I pointed out to him that it's supposed to be two month's salary... which would be at least 9k, pretax.
I don't think I'd want an 8k ring. Maybe 8k for a set, maybe. I'd be too worried about losing it or something.
wow I think that price is rather low for the ring you described - I would have expected that price range for more of a 1.5 carat center or something. I would go with that - it is a good deal.
My guy was in a bit of sticker shock when I told him we were looking at around 6,000 just for the stone. So he gave me a budget of 8,000. We ended up picking out the ring last week and I got a 1.33 ct round on a Stardust Collection pave band for 6500 which is a lot but way better than 28k if we went by the 2 months salary "rule". It's an Ideal Cut G Si2...but completely eye clean. The cert on it is EGL which is why we got it for less since they typically grade looser than GIA or AGS. But, it faces up bright white and sparkles like crazy. In the end I realized that it wasn't what was on the cert that mattered it was what the stone looked like in person. Anyways, just do your research. Go to a store and ask to see ideal cuts of loose stones in different colors. You may not be color sensitive and could drop the color of your stone to an H or an I and get more bang for the buck. (Honestly I couldn't tell a difference) Also, don't rule out Si1 or Si2 stones. If they're eye clean then why pay for a higher graded stone? Why pay for what you can't see? Most online vendors will check from 6 in, 8 in, and 10 in for inclusions that are visible. 11-14K is a great price for that size stone! Check out pricescope, and other vendors to look at are whiteflash and good old gold.
I think quality is where you could really make some changes and affect your price. When my FI was looking, he gave the store a price point he was looking for with the diamond and they showed him 15 different ones ranging in size from 1-2.5 carats. I have small fingers so we ended up going with one around 1.3 but it's flawless and the sparkle it gives more than makes up for any size differential. If we went bigger, we would have had to sacrifice quality and that was something he didn't want to do. I agree with others though- I highly suggest looking at the diamonds in person-- depending on where the flaws are can make a huge difference in the overall look of the diamond :) Good luck!
T already knew about the cost of diamonds as we're both an encore bride and groom and older. (he's 44).
Luckily one of his buds is one of the well known jewellers here in ATL so I know he's arranged an amazing deal. He's known the guy for years.
yup! i didn't price out rings beforehand but i told the boy that i wanted a three-stone ring [kind of similar to the promise ring he gave me]. well, we went shopping and i tried them on and we both did not like them. i just didn't get that warm and fuzzy feeling you know? so since i had been looking at the halo styles [which i thought were very pretty but not for me] we were both hooked. it had that pow! look i wanted.
we also found out which size carot looked best [nothing bigger than 1.25 and that's pushing it] which will help a lot with the final price [i hope!]. the boy told me his budget for a ring which made me bug my eyes out and i promptly told him he is not to go broke buying me a ring. in front of the jeweler. i'm sure they didn't appreciate that! lol.
but i was shocked at the prices of these things. then again, i then to be pretty frugal anyway so it takes me a second to remember that some things costs more. ha.
I didn't have a choice about my center stone because FI used a family heirloom, but he let me pick the setting out and then he found a jeweler in Utah who could imitate the setting for cheaper. (The original setting that I LOOOOOVED was like, a $15,000 setting. I apparently have fabulous taste) :) If you find a setting you love, you can always buy your center stone wholesale and then have a jeweler imitate the setting.
Quality is very important; more so than size. You might be better off with a slightly smaller flawless diamond than a bigger, less perfect diamond because it will catch the light better and be more sparkly :)
If we're being totally honest, I wouldn't have minded a stone just a tad bigger and maybe with a couple baguettes on the side.
I love my e-ring and wedding band though, and am SO GLAD we didn't have to spend a fortune on them! Maybe if we hit the big time later, we can upgrade.
i got to the point too that i was like PLEASSEEE ANYTHING, a candy ring pop, a string, lets just get engaged already!!!!
So, not gonna lie when I found out how much my ring cost, it knocked the wind out of me, because I thought it was...rediculous!!! FI bought me a 2 ct round cut Tacori ring...I dont want to speak specific numbers, but the diamond itself was so expensive that the jeweler cut him a deal on the band itself and practically gave it to him (and all of us e-ring stalkers know how expensive Tacori settings are WITHOUT THE DIAMOND....my eye just twitched again at the thought. HAHA). FI did put a sizable deposit down though and plans to have the ring paid off within the year, but still, its a bit overwhelming to think about at times (especially with my Budget Brain turned on Full mode 110% of the time now!!!), and since we are knee deep in wedding planning!
I would definitely go shopping together. I thought I found my ring on blue nile and ended up falling in love with a ring at a local store. I had originally wanted a 2 carat center stone with a half eternity band but when I tried it on it looked too big on my finger I ended up getting a 1.26 center stone set with two bands and I love it! just shop around. my fi actually gave me the budget and said I could pick bc he knows how picky I am.
to answer the question in the title of your post, YES. it's ludicrous.
which is why I am getting a moissanite center stone. (well, pricing in the diamond industry is really only the #2 reason for this - i personally have a moral opposition to diamonds :P). obviously, if you're set on a diamond, then you're set on a diamond, but moissanite is a REALLY awesome alternative (there's a ton of threads on weddingbee about this, if you feel compelled to do any research)
honestly though? maybe it's because when I was still considering a diamond i was ONLY looking at tiffany's and brilliant earth (since they both pretty much get their diamonds exclusively from non-african mines, i.e. canada and australia), but 14-16k is freaking DIRT CHEAP for what you were describing!!! i was looking at round stones with a simple halo setting at about 1.5-2ct on brilliantearth.com and for a decent quality stone, the price was more like $20-30k :P
Completely agree! At first, I thought ring shopping with him was a bit too unconventional (I must admit, I liked the concept and romance of his just pulling out an unsuspected diamond ring). But, having been through the process of shopping and buying the ring together, it really did bring out some great, honest conversations...and it really showed us how to work together on a larger decision. At times, it wasn't easy, but I am glad we did it that way because we worked through it. The way we did it reconfirmed to me that I love this man and we work pretty darn well together! Now...he just needs to propose with that ring!!! ;)
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