Post # 1
the fiancé and I are getting married in June and hadn’t yet registered. Its not something either of us have been enthused to do but a very kind friend is putting together a shower so our friends have been encouraging us to get this registry done. We live together, own a condo, have no clue where we might buy a house in the next few years, and really have all of our essential life items at this point. Having a lot of “stuff” kind of stresses me out and I find much of the typical registry stuff to be unnecessary. But we hit up a dept store as well as bed bath and beyond today to start a registry and just had the worst experience. Unfortunately the sales lady at BBB was beyond pushy and really stressed us out! We would really prefer money (to put towards student loans, a downpayment on a house, etc) but is it wildly rude to say that this is our preference? We aren’t going on a honeymoon (at least not right away) so the honeymoon fund idea is out. I know we need some actual items on a registry but we don’t wanna register for a lot because we simply do not need a lot of stuff.
Any similar experiences? Ideas?
Post # 2
I felt the same way! We have what we need for now and I’m not exactly sure what we will need when we get a house nor do I want it sitting around taking up space until then.
If you would prefer money just dont register or if you have to have the shower (because cash showers are SO tacky) then do a small registry and shut it down after the shower. We did a small registry and mostly got cash for our wedding.
Post # 3
I felt the same. We ended up registering for some essentials to appease those who were asking. It’s small and once it’s gone maybe people will bring cash? Who knows?.
Post # 5
We don’t do showers here but we too also didn’t want to do a registry.
We just left all gift info off everything and if/when people asked we just got the word out ‘no gifts’. We still got a few small gifts, bottles of wine and lots of cash in envelopes.
Post # 6
I loved every second of registering but I also just live in a tiny apartment with FI and we don’t have nice kitchen stuf. We have like cheap pots and pans and plates.
at BBB my mom had to literally tell the lady to go sit down because I wanted to do this on my own. She was pushing the China and fine silverware and serving stuff which is just not me. After she sat down I had a great time!
Also a bit of advice. If u register at kohls u get a check after ur wedding for 10% of what everyone spent! My sis got a nice $90 check afterwards so I reccomend going there! The sales people left us alone there haha!
Post # 7
I really recommend a Zola registry. You can register for experiences, like date nights or wine club memberships, and you can register for funds, like home renovations. You can also include items from any website, so it could be one-stop-shopping for your guests.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK
I think we might do one, but we’ll be upgrading what we already have in most cases. For example our towels are hand-me-downs and all mismatched but I haven’t been able to justify replacing them yet.
We’ll probably use Amazon, which lets you register items from anywhere. Plus then I can do it from the comfort of my own desk. I expect we’ll only give out the registry info if people ask for it, too.
Post # 9
It is wildly inappropriate to register for money. As far as I’m concerned that includes Zola, which IMO is no more than a money laundering operation dressed up to look like a gift registry. You can opt to receive cash, not gifts.
If you have no need for physical gifts just don’t register and don’t have a shower. When people ask you or your friends where if anywhere you are registered you can say that you are saving for X. A registry is supposedly a list of things people have to dig for or uncover of the things the couple is collecting for their new home.
At the end of the day the prerogative is the giver’s. It is perfectly proper to give off registry gifts. It would be rude and wrong to dictate otherwise.
Post # 10
I hated registering and put it off for ages. We have a small apartment with limited storage and the thought of filling it with with shit that will just have to be packed up and moved to the next place when we inevitably move again in a few years was giving me such anxiety.
I ended up going with my cousin who recently got married to Crate & Barrel. She walked me through the store and basically just told me what to register for. I put everything she said on my registry, and then went home and looked it over. I ultimately decided to delete my C&B registry and switched to Bed Bath & Beyond instead lol, but it was really helpful to have my cousin showing me the ropes for the first time instead of a random pushy saleslady. This way when I went back on my own to “actually” register I had a basic idea of what I wanted and it wasn’t so stressful.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
All I can say is I didn’t want to do a registry either. To me, it felt like I was writing a letter to Santa! But pretty much everyone kept bugging me about it, so I finally made one….only for literally everyone to give us cash afterall!
For what it’s worth, I see nothing wrong with saying “cash gifts prefered”. In this day and age it is fairly socially acceptable.
Post # 12
You could do Zola, as other posters have mentioned, but it is really a racket. When I’ve purchased gifts on Zola, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t buying towels, sheets etc. I didn’t realize the couple could just opt for the cash instead. It’s a bit disingenuous to be honest. Now I know why I never received a thank you note for the towels – they never actually received the towels. -_-
If I were you, I would go through your kitchen and confirm that nothing really needs upgrading. I thought we’d have a china only registry because we’re in our early 30s and have lots of kitchen stuff. But then I realized our college pots and pans were crap, our toaster was broken, etc. If you truly don’t need anything, skip the registry and people will gift cash. But also be prepared for more traditional guests to give you actual gifts. Good luck!
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris
I had a friend ask for Gift cards to Home Depot & another friend registered for board games. I know a lot of people who register for things to go on their honeymoon.
Post # 14
kastevison : it is rude to ask for cash, however, I completely understand where you are coming from. We also struggled with a registry because both DH and I lived on our own before marriage so we each had plates, towel, that sort of thing. We had some stuff for a registry (about half the recommendation) but I think most people got the hint and gave us cash at the wedding anyway.
PS. We are currently struggling with the same thing on our baby registry.
Post # 15
kastevison : Registering wasn’t easy and in the end my list was a whopping 22 items long. Best bet is registering for upgrades – we replaced the salt/pepper shakers, some cookware, things that were starting to get beat up or too small. We also asked for things we’ll use eventually, like sheets and towels. The other stuff was small and random, like a watering can for the plants – things that were on my own shopping list but easily put off until after the wedding. And the last thing we did was register for gift cards to be used toward specific items. In our case, we wanted a canoe or kayaks and while we wound up purchasing one used, we did buy life jackets with the cards we received.