Post # 1
We knew when we started planning that things would be pretty skewed – my aunts and uncles are ALL within a 2 hour drive, his family is all over the place in the midwest (our invites went out to 23 states, and most of those were for his family)…
But I wasn’t expecting it to be THIS lopsided. With the exception of his immediate family (parents, siblings) and 2 cousins – NONE of his family is coming. Around 50 “no’s” 🙁
Meanwhile, all of my family is coming – the only “no’s” on my side were from friends or friends of my parents.
A real bummer is that several of his family members had said after getting the Save the Dates that they would “definitely” be there, “wouldn’t miss it”, etc … so the amount of No’s rolling in were also a bit jarring. FI doesn’t seem too upset, but I think he is a bit disappointed.
We definitely won’t be able to have the whole “grooms side/brides side” during the ceremony, but thats fine. I also know we won’t be thinking about all the people who couldn’t make it during the wedding, but I wish it was more balanced. I feel really guilty about his parents paying for the rehearsal dinner too, seeing as its going to be mostly my family. I’m feeling guilty that we didn’t have the wedding in the midwest, but that would have been REALLY hard to pull off while I was finishing up grad school.
So yeah, just feeling the blahhhs tonight. 🙁
If anyone else had a pretty lopsided attendance, did other people notice? Did anyone say anything? Did you think about it at all during the actual wedding weeknd?
Post # 3
@mandypop: My FI family lives on the other side of the world. We are probably going to do some kind of web/telecast thing so they can see but the actual ceremony is going to be pretty lopsided.
Post # 4
We are experiencing that right now. There will be very few from his side, maybe 8 people. I once saw a sign or read something about the joining of families, choose a seat, not a side or something a little nicer than that.
I hadn’t even thought about the two sides at the church…shoot, need a plan.
Post # 5
My wedding is the same way but my side is the one with no people. I only have a few family members that my family speaks to and some of them are not even coming. All in all I have 6 family members attending right now there are only 4 left to rsvp and we invited 125 people. All of his family is coming. I don’t know how this makes me feel. I guess I wish I had more family (or just decent family lol) and more friends but really most of the time I don’t care. It was weird for the wedding shower and stuff since I had no one but I think it will be fine on the wedding day. The only thing I am worried about is people trying to sit on the groom’s side and leaving my side empty, I want people spread out.
Post # 6
our ceremony is next weekend and my man in having a really hard time with how lop sided it is going to be. We sent invitations to all of his brothers, his mom, and several of his cousins, but non of them are comming, we have some mutual friends in town that are comming, but thats it for him. I only have my dad and step mom other than in town friends, but it is still difficult with so many people living so far away
Post # 7
yep, my fi will have about 90 people there, i will have about 5…but thats because ive moved to mexico to be with him and my friends cant afford to travel london – mexico for a wedding.
but my parents, my sis and 2 best friends are coming – and thats most important to me. the only thing i did ask of my fi was that i didnt want a 300 person wedding where i actually didnt recognise people – everyone coming ive met a fair few times
Post # 8
Ours will be pretty one-sided we think — FI has been married before, we’re getting married in my hometown, I’m inviting more people, etc. He’s okay with it though (because of those reasons). We made sure his best friends were all in the wedding so they would be there, and his immediate family will all be on hand. We’re having as small a wedding as possible, so I’m hoping it doesn’t appear too awkward, but I had already planned on doing the “don’t pick a side” thing.
Post # 9
Ours was VERY one sided! It was one table of my husband’s family (and family friends) and six of mine!! We invited more of his people, but they didn’t come.
Post # 10
Yes, we are also lopsided! From the very beginning I wanted a small wedding and requested we invite 100 people total (50 for him, 50 for me). I stuck to my guns and invited 50 people and had 37 rsvp yes. He invited…drumroll please….135 and had almost 80 rsvp yes. It bothers me a little bit that he let his side of the guest list get so out of control, and he did say that I could invite more to even it out, but I don’t want to spend anymore money.
I’m not worried about it. We have a ton of mutual friends (that technically are his invites as he met them before I did), so we’re just going to ask them to sit on “my” side during the ceremony.
Post # 11
OP we experienced the exact same thing you did.
We had a destination wedding and everyone was excited originally. In the end, though, it was only most of my family and friends that came. Only 1 of DH’s friends (and the kids) came. DH’s other groomsman couldn’t make it. His mother and step-dad were there… but all the other people from his side of the family who bugged me for invitations before I even had them made never even RSVPed.
I feel sad for him, but DH is a tough guy and he told me that he expected it anyway. He generally keeps them at arm’s length. His family lets him down very often so he said he wasn’t too disappointed. The only people he truly wanted there are deceased. =(
Post # 12
Ours will be one-sided, none of my Fiance’s family will even be invited to the wedding when it happens!
Post # 13
Kind-of… we ended up filling in with friends but as far as his family goes… he only has his immediate family (as they don’t speak to anyone extended)… and his father passed away suddenly 3 month before the wedding… so his family consisted of his mom and sister.
It happens, not all my family could come because I’m from Canada and I live in NZ and we got married in NZ.
I wouldn’t worry too much. 🙂
Post # 14
I cant answer any of those question for you but I can say I will be going through the same experience you are.
My FH literally just has no family I could seat his entire family at 1 table while mine will take up probably 10-12 tables. I am really hoping this wont be a big deal – his parents have a lot of friends they plan on inviting but who knows how the numbers will work out. We have considered having a sign at the ceremony something along the lines of”as two families are joining today we ask that you do not pick sides and sit where you please” – however, I am being really traditional with the ceremony so I am still on the fence – I’ve got LOTS of time to think though 🙂
Let us know how it goes. I am sure no one will notice and you will have an amazing day with the people who made the effort to be there !
Post # 15
I have about 60-75 family members in the immediate area, SO only has 25ish total and we’re not inviting first cousins from either side (they’re all under 16) so that cuts his number in half. But he does have more friends than I do so we’ll say that it’ll even out in the end.
As long as your FI isn’t super upset or anything (obviously he’s disappointed regardless), I would make the best of it.
Post # 16
Mine will be one-sided too. mostly my side…