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I think that's actually incredibly romantic that you-all got married that way to stay together. I am teetering on not wanting a proposal at all. I'd just rather us agree to get married and we move on from this stage.
Something very similar just happened with my Sister-in-Law. She is getting married in two weeks, we just found out a week ago! Its like your situation, her soon-to-be hubby will be booted out of the country soon so they decided they would just go ahead and get married since they were planning on it anyway.
Its not what she wanted I think, but they are trying to look at the bigger picture. Try to hang in there! At least you get to stay together!
A couple of my friends just got married without traditional proposals. My parents never had one either and they are still happily together 20+ years later. I think it's nice to have, but not necessary, and your story is very unique and romantic.
My parents never had a traditional proposal. My daddy asked my grandfather for permission and he gave my mama the ring. They have been married for almost 30 years now.
I would'nt say I had no proposal, but I definately had an interesting one! Me, my FI, and our son were on our way home from a long day of work and daycare. My FI gave me a pack of rolos, which are my favorite, to munch on. I opened them up and started to eat them. My FI kept watching me and I was like What? He goes there wasn't anything in there? I was like no why? He immediately pulls the car over and jumps out. He runs over to my side of the car and rips the door open and starts looking all over the floor while I'm like what the hell is your problem!!!! LOL so he finds the ring that had fallen out of the roll of rolos, and gets on his knee on the side of the road and asked me to marry him! Leave it to me to mess it up, but it was still sweet and very entertaining!!
I agree, try to think of the big picture - you're planning your happily ever after...my FI didn't exactly do anything "unique" or "spectacular" for our proposal either. We were lying on the couch, talking about the "big issues", like kids & budgeting & how to plan for buying a house while saving for future kids' college money (not exactly romantic), and while we were distcussing our points of view (not arguing, but definitely trying to cover both sides of each question), FI left the room (I thought he went to the restroom) & came back. He said he kinda understood my side of the argument, but figured it would take too long to come to a solution. I figured that he meant that we should get some sleep & start again in the morning, so I rolled over to get off the couch & get ready for bed & nearly knocked him in the head as he was kneeling down. He never really got the question out; just handed me a box & told me to open it before I knock him unconscious. That was the proposal.
I did not get a proposal. And that's exactly how I wanted it.
It has a lot to do with my feminist ideals and our relationship. We are equals, in the truest sense, so I told my FH that I did not want a proposal because it wasn't up to him to decide when we got married. We were adults, making an adult decision together. I did not expect him to plan any over-the-top shenanigans for a staged proposal. I did not want the awkward stage of "waiting" once we had decided to get married and had a timeline. Once we decided, we set a date to go buy the ring, we did it, and a week later I picked up the ring from the jewlers and was officially "engaged." That's also why we went ring shopping together and split the cost of the ring 50-50.
Unromantic? Probably. Completely practical? Totally. But that's what worked for me.
punkrockgirl - I LOVE how you think. What you said makes total and complete sense to me. To be honest I didnt really want a proposal either even BEFORE we had to get married. The reason is because we had already talked about marriage and getting married within the year, looked at rings together etc etc. I think its kind of silly to pick out a ring and then have him surprise you with it. ummm...kind of defeats the purpose IMO.
This was not meant to bad talk anyone who has done that its just my personal opinion for my situation :)
Oh well, I have yet to find a ring I REALLY like.....*sigh* But at least I have time to find something!!
I actually think it's really romantic that the two of you got married the very next day after you found out he might have to leave the country. It may not be a proposal story but it's a great story to tell!
A proposal does not a good marriage make, imo.
My parents got engaged in their car in the parking lot of planned parenthood. Yep. My mom was 17, just found out officially that she was pregnant, and in the parking lot after the appointment her and my dad decided to get married. 33 years and 2 kids later my parents have the happiest and best marriage of anyone i've ever known.
CorgiTales - AMEN TO THAT SISTER!
I was just talking to my co worker about this. just because you do things the way they "should be done" doesnt guarantee happiness.
Hes been to a wedding where it was as lavish as possible. anything you could think of that couple had it. and within a year they were divorced!
Thanks for all your comments gals! It makes me feel really good about how everything turned out for us and makes me see all the glorious positives!
I didn't get a proposal. I was like punkrockgirl. I didn't care about a ring or any of that. Though my dh isn't super-traditional, he still felt like he really needed to propose, but at the same time he has a hard time making big life changes. So, there I was sitting...waiting for a proposal which was not a position I ever wanted to be in. So, about 8 months after we had our first conversation of whether we wanted to get married (we both did), I just proposed to him.
So, I didn't have the big romantic thing, but in the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. We are married and going to have a kicka$$ life together!
On my parents' second date, and while drunk, my father asked my mother, "Why don't we get married in Chartres Cathedral?" It started out as a joke, but gradually became less and less of one. So there really wasn't a formal proposal.
My Dad didn't really propose, either. Him and my Mom were chatting, and their favorite radio station was AM 920. My Dad said "we should get married the first year 9/20 falls on a Saturday." It ended up being that year! They've been married 41 years.
I think your story is incredibly romantic!
I didn't really have a normal proposal. I hear about all sort of romantic stories and crazy plans and speeches. My FH and I have been together 11 years (since I was 17). I bought a house, a year later he moved in , we picked out a ring.
I waited and waited for the normal proposal. My FH isn't emotional, or good with big life changes. We were buying stuff to make dinner for our friends. I was teasing him about us not being married. We pulled into the driveway in the car He asked if I wanted to get married. I told him it wasn't funny to joke. He said he was serious. We were engaged. We unloaded the car and while I was putting things away he got the ring and give it to me in the box, and started cleaning the cutting borad. No kneeling no big thing, just us. It was fine with me.
Like punkrockgirl said we are adults and equals. It is a big decision, and one we had already made to share our lives.
I think it's wonderful that you got married to be together, but I totally understand what you mean.
I sort of got one... I'm usually not too traditional, but I found myself wishing for that big romantic gesture of a proposal, him on one knee, the whole thing. What I got: We were in a hotel room, we'd gone away for our 4th anniversary as a couple. He sidled up to me, told me he got me a ring. This whole marriage/wedding thing certainly seems to bring up emotions/longings I never thought I had. But I cry some, sigh some, shrug things off, and go with it. I figure it all makes for good stories down the line, like some of the other bees have shared.
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Well, I am technically married right now and we are having our ceremony next year. but heres the thing...I didnt get a proposal.
How did this come to be you ask?
Well my Honey is from Japan. hes been here in the USA 5 years and weve been dating for 3 of those years. His lawyer was working on the paperwork for a green card through his employer. We were assured it would arrive soon. Well we got a phone call a couple months ago saying that the paperwork fell through and if we didnt get married ASAP he would be deported within the year. When I asked how long it would be before he could come back to live here he said a couple years....IF AT ALL! Well naturally I was a mess. We have our house and little kitty together. we were starting our lives together!
So the nest morning we ran out and got married so we could be together. I wouldnt have changed it because I can be with him. But I still am sad that I never got that magical proposal....
Anyone else not get a proposal?