- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
I’ve seen everyone else’s posts about the cute ways they asked their BMs to be their BMs. You all made adorable cards, or had them over for a surprise dinner, or whatever. I almost feel like I let mine down.
I first asked my bridesman to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. He was there when Fiance proposed, got pictures, etc. When we started ice skating again and everything had kind of sunk in, I turned to him and simply asked, “Hey, will you be a bridesmaid?” He said yes, and that was that. Later on, FPILs and my parents put up a fit about having a male bridesmaid and a female groomsman, so we switched them. Fiance talked to them both about it, so I really didn’t have anything to do with asking the groomsmaid-turned-bridesmaid.
I asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man in Japan next. It was over Skype while she was at work, so she kept having to step away and help her customers, and it was noisy. It began with me telling her that Fiance had fallen very badly and hurt himself, and she got really worried. The Japanese verb for “propose” is almost identical to “fall badly and hurt oneself,” I discovered. Oops. I then had to explain the concept of a bridesmaid to her, and THEN I was finally able to ask her. She said yes and then immediately had to run to help a customer. That was that.
I met my Maid/Matron of Honor for breakfast before we went to a bridal show together (she got married just two months ago). She asked if I had thought at all about my bridal party, and I said I really wasn’t sure, it was a tough decision, still hadn’t decided on the final list… But would she be my MOH? She was absolutely shocked and wasn’t expecting it at all (I think she knew she would likely be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but didn’t expect MOH). She just kept saying “No! No! I mean, yes, but no… You’re really asking me? Yes! I’m honored. No!” It was kind of funny.
Asking Future Sister-In-Law was probably the most awkward thing ever. My parents came into town to celebrate our engagement, and we went out to dinner with them, me and Fiance, FPILs, and Future Sister-In-Law and her boyfriend. It was really the first time our families had ever spent time together. I was sitting between Fiance and my dad; Future Sister-In-Law was across the table from me. Anyway, my dad got a little tipsy, and he and the other parents started ragging on us having a bridesman and a groomsmaid. Then my dad started saying very loudly and right into my ear, “You know what else you need to do? You need to ask Future Sister-In-Law to be your maid of honor. Make her the maid of honor. DO IT.” At the same time, Fiance, Future Sister-In-Law, and her boyfriend were having another conversation on their end of the table, and she said something along the lines of, “And usually the sister of the groom is asked to be a bridesmaid.” I think it was totally innocent, and she wasn’t actually thinking of herself, but Fiance started poking me and saying I should ask her. He wasn’t paying attention and didn’t notice my dad shouting into my other ear. It was a little overwhelming. I turned to Future Sister-In-Law and asked her to be a bridesmaid. I had already known I was going to ask her, but geeeeeeeeeze, pressure much?
I asked another one while the two of us were hanging out with my Maid/Matron of Honor. She asked if I had thought about my bridal party, I said I had, asked her to be a bridesmaid, she said yes, was happy, and then we moved on with our lives.
The last one I asked via email. We had been trying to set up a phone date for several weeks (she’s from out of town), but that kept not happening, and I really wanted to get it done. I sent her a really long, nice letter telling her how much I loved her and how much she had meant to me over the years, then finished it with the big question, but it was still a Facebook message. Not too special.
Did anyone else do something normal like that, or did you all do really awesome stuff? I don’t want to be the only bridesmaid-asking-failure.