Post # 1
We are getting married on May 22nd but FI just found out that he needs health insurance coverage if he attends his Masters program full time and the school’s insurance will cost us over 1k to cover him until July (even though he’ll only need it until May–they won’t prorate). So I suggested making it legal now, not telling anyone, and still having our planned wedding in May. Has anyone ever done this? Did you keep it a secret from everyone? How did you do it and still make it special???
Post # 3
There are a lot of bees on here who have done that. Honestly, it doesn’t make the wedding any less special since it is more of a need to get married sooner. So have you checked with your employer to see how much it would be to add him? Even if they cover your insurance, they probably won’t cover him for free.
Post # 4
Also, make sure there isn’t a waiting period, some insurance companies only allow you to add people to your policy at certain points in the year or after a specific length of marriage.
Post # 5
We actually considered doing this as well for financial reasons for our May wedding, but have decided not too. However, it wasn’t $1,000 and health insurance at stake – two major things! I’m a pretty practical person so this makes sense to me, but you just have to decide whether a piece of paper from the government is going to take away from the special moment with friends and family. Also remember that you have to get a marriage license beforehand anyway… this just takes it a step further! My FMIL would have been really, really upset if she knew, though, but would probably understand if it was for some major reason. I’m sure other bees here have other opinions, but I think you should look into it!
Post # 6
Also, if you only need coverage in case of an emergency (meaning that he doesn’t take regular medicine or something) you might be able to find something inexpensive online at ehealthinsurance.com. My husband did that for about a month to cover him when he was dropped from his parents insurance but didn’t get his insurance at work until he started.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception
I did! You can read about my experience here:
Miss Poodle, Miss Moonbeam, and Miss Dashchund also were legally married before their wedding.
Post # 8
I did, Also… I needed Health coverage and I had it through my My employer, But I was spending Around 400 A month and my Fi’s would only go up 48.00 a month to add my and my 3 boys, so we weight our options and we did it.
Here in OKlahoma, Common Law Marriage Is reconized, So you may check into that. (not for sure about other states)
We went to the Notory and ten bucks and a piece of paper later, we were married. My smart ellec Fi said, Well was that the wedding you always dreamed of….lol
We still dont count ourselfs as married and the only people that know are our close family and friends.
Post # 9
We’re considering it for reasons of health insurance. Maybe I’m weird, but I hope we don’t have to go through with it.
Post # 10
We got married legally in February ’09. Our ceremony is not til August ’10 so there was quite a gap. We did it for both immigration and financial reasons. We did not want to still have to stay separate while I waited for a permanent resident card and while I could have moved in while waiting, I would not have been allowed to work. It did cause some confusion amongst my friends and family, especially when I told them I wasn’t living wth him yet. But I don’t believe having it done legally first will take away from the larger ceremony where family and friends gather to celebrate your love for each other. If you’re Catholic, the church doesn’t acknowledge you as husband and wife until the ceremony anyway. Hope this helped a little.
Post # 11
I did! We have been legally married since October 2008 and our wedding will be in Oct 2010. Immigration was the reason we moved it up – and we also just wanted to do it! It was fun and romantic.
I actually loved my city hall wedding that afterward i seriously considered not going through with the bigger one – but we are and now I’m excited.
Post # 12
We had a civil ceremony but only told our parents. We wanted the wedding to truly be our day committing to each other and knew that many family would not take it well if they knew that we were already “married” – especially my Grandma. Neither of us truly feels married to the other yet and we still consider ourselves engaged until our big day. I think it all depends on what you are comfortable with and how you decide to execute it. There are ways to celebrate both the civil ceremony and the wedding, but for us just uplifting the wedding and keeping our “marriage” between us and our parents felt right.
Post # 13
We did it last summer! …and our wedding isn’t until this coming summer. Like you, FI needed health insurance. We were moving across the country for my new job, but he hadn’t lined up a job yet. (Stupid economy, he still hasn’t gotten a job. Things are tough for architects right now.) We did it just the 2 of us at City Hall. We did tell my parents, but we haven’t really told anyone else. It hasn’t taken away from our engagement or our wedding planning at all. We don’t feel married yet (although it was weird referring to FI as my “husband” when I went in for my physical a few weeks ago!).
It was just the logical decision for us. I added FI to my healthcare at my new job FOR FREE. No employee contribution. All we needed was a marriage certificate. 😉
Post # 14
Two of my close friends did it and for the same reasons, health insurance coverage. Both told only close friends and family and kept it confidential. I know of couple celebrated by going out to dinner and dressing up for the occasion.
Post # 15
We did exactly that! I lost my job and needed insurance and we won this crazy contest to get married at the offices of Time Out Chicago magazine. We didn’t tell anyone but the magazine did an article about it so some of our city friends found out. They all thought it was really cool though. We did tell our parents but mainly because a few other people knew and we didn’t think it was right for them not to know. We also wanted them to quit hounding us as to what we were doing about my insurance!
Post # 16
We did. We’re getting married in October, but I NEED health insurance, so we “made it legal” last week. In our state, internet ordained ministers can legally officiate, so a friend did the ceremony for us on a weekday evening. It was literally “Do you? Do you? Ok, you’re married.”
We’re keeping it a secret from our family, but did tell some of our friends. They are under strict orders to assume that anyone they speak with DOES NOT know that we are married. We also made sure to OK it with our wedding officiant (some officiants can get a little iffy about it).
I had been having a small medical issue, but as soon as I knew I had health insurance, it seems to have cleared up. It was a total weight off of our shoulders, and, to us, we really still aren’t married. The wedding in October will be the real wedding. I was very hesitant to make it legal before hand, but having health insurance was much more important.