Post # 1
I’m pretty set on a moissanite in a diamond setting but my SO gets super cranky about it, saying that because the cushion moissanite is so inexpensive “it will look like shit”. He’s also not too keen on me purchasing the loose stone myself to show him, he’s traditional in that way, I suppose.
Therefore I’ve started considering both ethically mined diamonds and antique rings that are in a similar style. However, this is MAJORLY driving up the price points and I generally end up about $2000 over budget. Unfortunately I really love ornate, blingy rings, as does he.
Did this happen with anyone else? What did you do? I’ve offered to pay the difference but he’s having none of that. Sigh.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@musician32992: Maybe routinely check diamondbistro.com and idonowidont.com to see what people are reselling? Check out pawn shops – if you find a diamond you like you can always have it reset. I agree that you should see moissanite in person if you are unsure and you are getting it mainly due to price. Maybe see if you can talk your boyfriend into purchasing an ornate setting you like, and setting a moissanite in it until you find a diamond? Tell him it will be temporary?
Post # 4
Didn’t really go over Budget… as we didn’t have a real one to begin with (we are older, and don’t have a lot of expenses at this point in our lives)
We did however, UP our Budget several times, based on the reading & research we did about Diamonds.
We raised our expectations in regards to the varous Cs… CUT (Quality) – COLOUR – CLARITY – CARAT SIZE
As well as the ones for CERTIFIED – CONFLICT FREE / CANADIAN
So naturally the price went up.
Mr TTR was comfortable with what he spent… and I was very happy with the end result.
So all was well in our case.
— — —
On the other hand…
My First Wedding (circa 1980) my Ex and I were two fresh faced Uni Grads… with no money and no possessions… just a brand new job. At a time when Interest Rates were well over 20% and on Credit Cards more like 35%… YIKES
He had a brand new credit card… and we needed to get me an ERing and some Furniture for our Apartment. So on the card it all went. We paid it all off over the next year or so.
Personally I didn’t like that arrangement so much (more so as time in our marriage went on)… cause it occured to me that I was paying off my own ring as well… BEFORE we ever got married.
In light of the fact that my Marriage got abusive (including financially abusive) I’ve come to realize that I probably did a lot to set myself up for my Hubby’s poor attitude about money in regards to myself.
I let him use me / walk over me… strictly because I “felt” I was being a modern independent woman… I wasn’t I know now I was being a very foolish young girl who really was in love, and soooo wanted this man to marry me. I gave away my dignity IMO. And sadly, I see a lot of that today even 30+ years later on WBee…. too many women lining themselves up for many of the same mistakes I made. I STRONGLY Believe that if a Man wants to marry a woman he is quite capable to making that known… (nothing cooler than a man head over heels in love with the gal he’s going to marry). A man who really and truly wants to marry a girl, can make a ring happen on his own. Period.
Post # 5
@FutureDrAtkins: Pawn shops are a good idea! I’m constantly on those two sites you mentioned, so great advice! He’s even pickier than I am, it’s pretty funny.
I dunno if he’d go for the stand-in stone, but he loves the moissy pendant that he bought me so I’m not sure where the “moissanite looks like crap” opinion is even coming from!
Post # 6
I didn’t vote, but I kind of went over budget. We didn’t really have a budget, but I was anticipating he’d spend around $200. I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want a diamond; I wanted a white sapphire or topaz or something like that, and I wasn’t opposed to silver. As I did more research I found that white gold would be more durable for me (I am a little rough on jewelry) and and discovered moissanite. In the end my ring cost $450, which was double my prospective budget, but my husband paid for it all himself anyway (we were in college at the time). I felt kind of bad about it, but he didn’t mind at all.
Post # 7
@This Time Round: I think that is the problem, he doesn’t realize what he wants far exceeds his budget. He wants a blingy setting in diamonds with at least a one carat center stone for under $3000. It’s just not possible!
Post # 8
We picked out my ring together and we went over budget by about $1,300. He didn’t seem to mind though…considering he bought it anyways lol.
Is he willing to go over budget since he’s the one that’s insisting on a diamond?
Post # 9
We went ring shopping together with a budget of $2500. I think with tax my ring ended up being like $2650? DH said it didn’t matter because it wasn’t by much.
Post # 10
We picked out my ring together, and it came in at $600 under budget! But my FI and I don’t have very expensive tastes, and didn’t like the more ornate settings at all! I have a simple three stone morganite ring.
If he is the one that is set on a diamond when you would be happy with mossianite, I think it should be up to him to make up the difference. You say he doesn’t know how much the ring he wants to get you is going to cost, do you think it might help change his mind to see the actual price the ring would cost with a diamond vs. a moissy? I agree that having a moissy stand-in stone coul be a good comprimise, then you can upgrade when you’re able.
Post # 11
@IzzyBear: You would think so, but no. Even in all diamonds it’s a strict $3000 budget, which I can’t really express to him is unrealistic without being mean. I feel like he’ll think I’m saying he’s not spending enough on me, but he is the one demanding “the real deal”. The ring I would like is only about $2200 while in all diamonds would be closer to $4800.
Post # 12
@musician32992: He picked out the ring and if I had known the cost, I would have wanted something less expensive. He’s a smarty pants so I gladly accepted the ring and knew he’d figure it out.
We are going over the wedding bugdet but again, we’ll figure it out. Not sure exactly how but we’ll pay for it. 🙂
Post # 13
I did not go over budget which was $300. I told my parents who were going to mexico to find me a cheap, simple white gold band. Dad came back with a diamond eternity ring. He said he wanted me to have diamonds.
But i only paid $300 for it lol.
Post # 14
@luckyshot: Yeah, I agree about that, unfortunately he does not. The engagement ring is more bothersome to him at this point, because he has a very set timeline that he doesn’t have to think about it until March (when I graduate college and the official “waiting” period begins).
I would love a rose gold morganite ring but he clearly has other tastes in mind.
Post # 15
My husband had a budget that HE went over. He had an amount in mind that he wanted to include the diamond, setting, and wedding band. When he bought the diamond he was already over. Problem was he also had a very narrow idea of what he wanted in terms of clarity, cut, and color, and utilimately size, so it cost what it cost. 🙂 I approved his choices but he made them on his own. By the time we had a setting designed and made and bought a wedding band he was about 30% over his idea of a budget, but not unhappy about it.
Post # 16
It sounds like you’re kind of stuck for now. Maybe when he starts looking for a ring he will realize that budget is going to be an issue and you might be able to discuss options.
It took a bit of time to sway my FI to the morganite. He’s a traditional guy, and originally wanted to get me a diamond, but once he saw a few morganite rings in person (and the price tags, lol) he changed his mind. Especially when we looked at diamond rings that were in our budget (0.25 carat solitaires basically).