Post # 1
Hello, my husband and I are in the process of fullfilling our requirements to be able to convalidate (get married in the catholic church even though weve been married by law at the courthouse) our marriage…
we just took the REFOCCUS test last night and im eager to go over our results once they come in.
did anyone esle have to do this as a requirement?!
if you dont know what this is, I reccomend you do it just to do. it seems to be helpful.. & this is what it is:
How Does REFOCCUS WORK?
Each Section has statements to each of which you will both independently respond with
I am uncertain
You will then develop a guideline for discussion
- by comparing your individual responses
- by comparing these responses to the authors’ response
- by checking statements for special discussion when your responses disagree with each other and the authors’ response
- by determining any statements other than those checked for special discussion that you wish to explore further.
You now have a profile of your relationship in the topic area. You will then open to the inside of the section and
- read the materials that focus the overall meaning/approach of the section
- begin to probe more fully the statements you have determined for in-depth discussion.
Post # 3
we did. it opened up a lot of discussion.
Post # 4
We took the FOCUS test, do you know what the difference is?
Post # 5
Wow, I didn’t think anyone else had to take the Foccus test!!
My Fiance and I took that about 2 months ago. We also have to take pre-marriage counseling in order to get married in our church. The Foccus tests were actually really fun/helpful. Don’t take the scoring too seriously.. there were a couple that my Fiance answered wrong and I answered wrong so it skewed our scores, but the questions are really great topics to chat about! I think it actually made us a little closer and enabled us to communicate and understand each other better =)
Post # 6
I think everyone getting married in the Catholic church is required to take the FOCCUS test as part of Pre-Cana. I’ve never heard of REFOCUS? What’s that?
ETA: Oh, I think we’re talking about the same test! I actually really enjoyed going over the answers to our FOCCUS test. Even though my husband and I put down mostly the same answers, there was a questions or two we disagreed on, and that brought up some great discussion material!
Post # 7
We just took it last night .. I believe the FOCUS TEST is basically the same thing right? I actually think we took the FOCUS test instead of the REFOCUS since we are already cohabitating and married through the court house.
After taking the test my husband and I asked eachother what we answered in certain questions and it was neat to see, I cant wait to get the results and think it will be very helpful even if we dont like what results we get!
& yes there were some questions where i was little iffy and not sure if i fully understood what it was asking?!
Its good to see that overall it was a good thing to do. I was a bit scared!
Post # 8
We took the FOCUS test 🙂 we scored really high on all of them and didn’t have to discuss much at all… which I guess is a good thing, but I was hoping that we would learn something new about eachother…. oh well! haha
Tomorrow we start our weekend retreat! Night all 🙂
Post # 9
We just mailed our FOCCUS in to the church. I am excited to see what our results are too.
Post # 10
is it REFOCCUS because youve been legally married already?
we took the FOCCUS as part of our engaged encounter weekend which was back in november. we havent gotten the results of it and we’re actually kind of confused because we want to know how we did but it wasnt “graded” (i guess?) during our weekend. no one ever explained that it would be sent away and results mailed back. where did you all find out your results?
Post # 11
you may want to contact whoever coordinated the retreat and ask them about it.
Post # 12
REFOCCUS is for married couples. I just went on their website to see if they had a sample test (we take ours on Saturday!) and is had a REFOCCUS section for people who are married.
I don’t know why, but I am nervous about this test! haha. I keep thinking we have forgot to discuss this huge issue and we will fail!
Post # 13
Well, the good thing is, it’s there so you can learn that you DO need to discuss something 🙂 It’s not really a pass/fail there goes your marriage… 🙂
Post # 14
My husband and I are still waiting for our results to come back… BUT, after taking the test we remembered the questions we were a bit unsure of and asked each othed
“what did you answer for this one”
sort of like in High school after a test….
& with that it was good seeing that we answered the same and are pretty much on the same page.
I am sure there will be some where couples answer different, thats what its about though learning those differences and learning how to work with them.
Dont be scared. Its mostly questions regarding finances, family, relationship with God, & with each other.
Post # 15
We took the FOCCUS and I think the biggest discrepancy/conversation starter for us was my husband had marked that he would save our kids before me. The priest scolded him a bit on that one, “You can have more kids, but you can’t have more wives!”….but we mostly found out that we were 80-ish percent compatible and that our priest liked our jokes.
I thought that our marriage prep in the Catholic church (although I myself am not Catholic, my husband is and we were wed in a Catholic cathedral) was very beneficial and well worth the time. We knew we were right for each other and it really just opened up our hearts and our minds to God and getting more to a balance in our relationship. Somedays I wish we were still going through all of that so that we were forced to take the time to work on our relationship.
Post # 16
there are many things LIKE THAT .. that you could do after being married too =].
sometimes its just time consuming but maybe well worth it!?
Im glad it was a good esperience for you.. I am soooo eager to get our results back!