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Oh gosh, I hope I love my wedding. But I'll be honest, I'd rather be a guest at my wedding than the bride! It'll be a great party, but I do NOT want to be the center of attention or wear my wedding gown...or walk down the aisle.
Well, while I had fun and everything went semi-well, I did not love my wedding. It was kind of a hot mess. I forgot like everything in Chicago (we go married in Ohio). Then forgot to bring important stuff to the church, like the marriage license and the programs. Also our DJ bailed on us an hour before the ceremony. My sister and father both got injured at the reception and my brother and sister-in-law were unable to attend. Also because of the DJ issue, we didn't get as many pictures as we would have liked and we got 0 pictures with grandparents. There are a lot of things I would like to do-over again for my wedding if I could. Basically, I was way, way, way less organized than I should have been. Mostly because during our 5 month engagement we moved, started new jobs, got a cat, got a fish tank, and bought a house. I did enjoy my wedding, and I did have fun despite these things, but I didn't love it.
I loved my wedding and had such an amazing time. But I think I owe that to the very important advice I got from many other friends, which was to delegate and let go of the wedding planning on the big day and just simply enjoy being the bride!
I didn't love my wedding. My husband did, and I love that he did, but my mom made my wedding absolute hell. She was everything I was fearing on our big day. She kept me so stressed all day and I just couldn't relax...so, I did not love my wedding.
I tell my husband to this day that while I loved marrying him, the happiest day of my life was when he proposed to me.
LOVED my wedding. There is absolutely nothing I would change. I must say, we had un-traditional plans with the very simple DW. Our parents protested a bit, but we did not budge on anything at all (unless for very important serious reasons). So the wedding was US and everything went perfectly - there's no way not to love it. :)
I liked my wedding but I didn't LOVE it. There were some things I would do different in hindsight but I don't worry too much about it now that its over.
The only part that really bothers me is that I was really disappointed in our photos. Our photographer made such a big point that we wouldn't even notice him. Well I think that was a little too true. He obviously wasn't getting great shots and he never said anything. We didn't end up with even one single photo of my husband and I that I would want to frame.
We are talking about doing an anniversary shoot in our wedding clothes so that makes me happy tho.
Yeah, I'm the same as derby, I liked my wedding, but didn't love it. I love the fact that I married my husband, and the ceremony itself was perfect, but there were a couple really bad things that happened that cast a shadow over the day.
If I could do it over again I'd pay the $2k for a DOC. I was SO stressed out (so was my DH) the whole day. A lot of details never came to fruition because I was the one setting them up. My DH and I were the last ones at the venue and had to clean up (sucky). And there were a lot of other mess ups. I liked it, but I didn't love it. Stressful. Seriously.
I truly loved our wedding, but I was able to enjoy it so because of a few things:
1. The majority of my family came into town early and helped out as much as they could beforehand. This allowed me much more time than I would have had as they all pretty much decorated the entire site themselves. All I did was lay a few things out for them and they just got it done. It was nice seeing about 20 of my family members work together like they did.
2. My aunt was my DOC and was a bulldog. She called the shots and everyone listened. She made my timeline, checked and double-checked with vendors, and made sure everyone knew exactly what they were supposed to be doing and when.
3. We lucked out with the weather. It was a seriously amazing day. You know the kind where you walk outside and it just feels amazing (which is asking a lot in Florida).
4. My vendors were awesome! I really loved each of my vendors (my rentals had some issues but it worked out). They all seemed to care a lot about our day and making it special.
5. We were married at a place that holds a special place in me and my husband's heart, and that you just can't fake!
6. I had planned and re-planned about a thousand times exactly how everything would play out, and anything that might come up on that day. I had a plan B, C, and D. I'm anal, though, and am a believer that you can't be too prepared.
7. While I am anal, I really took it to heart to just relax and enjoy our day (and the days leading up to the wedding). I just went with the flow and tried to find a sense of peace in knowing I would be marrying the most important person in my life. The day most likely won't be perfect, but building it up too big in your head can really cause you unnecessary stress. Don't become your own worst enemy by convincing yourself nothing will go wrong. Just make a choice that when it does, everything will work out just fine.
I liked our wedding, but I didn't love it, for various reasons.
I'm finding though that as time goes on, it bothers me less and less. Things that I felt like crying over in the weeks and months right after the wedding have already started to fade away and lose their sting. The wedding really is just a day, and time and a more distant perspective away from the bubble are really helping me to understand that.
I didn't love it. I hate to admit it, and wouldn't tell my husband, but it was not amazing. Too many small things happened, and big too. There were so many headaches and our DOC needed her hand held over some parts, so while I enjoyed it....it could have been a lot better....
I enjoyed my wedding, and I was a very happy bride, but I didn't love my wedding. There was a lot of family drama that happened; I'm mostly over it now, but it has taken me a while to let go of those hurt feelings. What I really loved was marrying my husband. :) That was the most incredible part of the entire day, and I wouldn't change that for anything.
If I had to do it over, I would convince my husband to take off a whole month from work and just go elope. The honeymoon was awesome, and I would totally do that part again, too!
I enjoyed my wedding in a practical "wow that was a good day" sense. But I'm not one to go ape-o-bananas over a fantasy day anyways. It's always bigger, better, easier in our heads. And in reality, I just knew it wouldn't be 100% in real life.
It turned out great, though. I had a lot of fun, we got married, and in the end, that was all that matters.
It's done with, it's over with, and w'ere moving onto other spectacular parts of our lives. Relishing in the "it's over" aftermath still. It's so nice and relaxing!
But it wasn't "The most amazingly beautiful spectacular rainbows sunshines" day of my life.
It was worth relishing, but not a day I would choose to relive again.
I didn't love my wedding...when I think about it all I remember is everything that went wrong, which was pretty much everything and how my MIL was a BSC hot mess, making everything about her.
If I had to do this again and eloping wasn't an option, I would pick a nicer venue and one that did majority of the stuff for you. Family volunteered to help a little bit (me and DH did about 90% of it ourselves) but they complained the entire time and were feeling unappreciated (you would think numberous thank you cards, massages and several free dinners would do something...). I sound spoiled, I know, but it was so frustrating because everyone was mad at us and not happy so I'm still a little floored. We did everything we could think of to make everyone comfortable and not have to do much but it still wasn't enough for them.
I would have also gone with another DJ and possibly another photog.
@ejs4y8, you hit the nail on the head. That is exactly how I feel. The day was wonderful, I had a great time, everyone else had a good time, everything went well and the photos came out absolutely beautiful. It was everything I'd hoped for, but I tried not to hang my hat on the wedding to be the best day of my life. I was more excited about getting to be married to my husband than the actual wedding.
I had a great time planning, and a lot of help from family and friends (and y'all :-)) to pull off the wedding. Which was a lifesaver because there were 5 family weddings the 2 months before ours, holidays, long, long longgggg work hours... we moved 2 weeks before the wedding and I was tied up at work working overtime to get things done until the Friday before the wedding. I was so thankful for the help. Our vendors were awesome too.
All in all, it was a great day. But I think the rest of life will be just as great, and I'm glad to be back to normal, where we're not throwing money away and spending so much time completing wedding tasks.
if I could change anything, I would have changed the time we left for our HM-- we left 2 hours after the reception for an 11 hour flight and a lot of people were worried they would make us late, so they left the wedding sooner than we'd hoped. We couldn't help that-- we planned everything around that flight because it was nonrefundable and we couldn't change the time either. I also wish I'd done the playlist way earlier, not 2 days before and staying up till 2 am. I had hardly any sleep the week before the wedding and the night before, the hotel had loud music so I didn't sleep at all.
I did love our wedding. I couldn't even imagine before hand what an amazing day it would be. With the exception of the unbelievable and unseasonal heat, it was a wonderful, special, beautiful day in our lives. But yes, I love being married even more, and that is the important part!
I loved my wedding day. Not in the sense of it was the greatest day of my life but I married my soul mate. The day was beautiful, my ceremony was outside. The food was great and everyone had a good time. I think it all depends on your priorities. The goal is to have a sucessful marriage!
I loved my wedding despite the fact I had no help what-so-ever. But I do wish I would have spent more for a professional photographer with more experience.
It was one of my favorite days-dreamy and awesome but not perfect--nothing ever is---so it wasn't AS POSTED ABOVE "The most amazingly beautiful spectacular rainbows sunshines" day of my life. When I look back on it, I sometimes think of things that I could have or should have done to make it better (I was a planner-bride) but I know it went really well and I'm just being ridiculous--but it's taking away the LOVE word like how some people make it sound.
When the wedding was over and me and DH got up to the hotel room alone...and that was the BEST of all.
The receptionist called the next morning and said, "How was your wedding?
And i said great! Then she actually said, "but I bet not as good as came afterwards!". This was true!
I loved my wedding, but looking back there are things we didn't do that we planned to do and things I wish would have gone differently. Its amazing how in the heat of the moment, the day flies by and things you thought were important aren't anymore. Just relax and enjoy it, even if everything isn't the way you imagined, it might be better :-D
I think a lot of brides put SO MUCH of themselves into the whole thing that it can just never live up to all that work. I tried to be really conscious about not putting too much time and effort into the wedding planning. It was pretty easy for me, because I didn't want the big wedding so my husband had to do alot of the legwork, or else it wouldn't have gotten done. We got engaged exactly 5 months before our wedding date, spent a good three months planning, and bam, it was over!
We didn't spend tons of money, we DIY'd lots of stuff, and just basically thought of it as a laid-back bash celebrating with friends and family. It was loads of fun and pretty stressful (but in a fun way), but I could definitely see where the brides who pour their heart and soul into planning that. one. day. could have some feelings of regret, or even bitterness, after its all over.
I love that I married my husband. I love the way I felt that day. I love the outpouring of love and support we received from our family and friends. I love all of the special moments with DH and our guests. I cherish the time I spent with my mom during the planning. The photos are beautiful, and I love seeing the happiness of that day reflected in them. We had a wonderful, joyful time. Did everything go perfectly? Definitely not, but I never expected it to. There are a few things I would maybe change in retrospect and some things that were completely out of my control that didn't go as planned, but I feel very fortunate to say that I love everything about my wedding that really mattered to me.
I think there is a lot of unnecessary pressure on brides to "love" every single thing about our weddings - to make the wedding the best day of our lives, to throw an unforgettable party, to find the one perfect dress, to have completely unique personal details, etc. Everything doesn't have to be perfect and the best to enjoy your wedding. I also think that for many of us, no matter how big or small the budget, the cost of a wedding seems like a lot of money to drop on a single day. This probably adds to the pressure to "love" our weddings (i.e. if I'm spending $xxx on cake, it better be freaking amazing). IMO it's just as important to set a budget based on what you're comfortable spending as it is to set your budget based on what you can afford.
There are so many things that can happen that are beyond the bride's control, that no matter how meticulously you plan, things may go wrong. Hopefully, those things are of the 'ugh, the florist used roses when I specifically asked her not to' variety rather than the 'my sister found out she has cancer the week before our wedding' variety. If you're able to laugh off the first type of problem, you'll have a much better shot at having "love" feelings about the aspects of your wedding that truly matter to you. I hope for everyone that they don't have to deal with the latter type of problem. Ultimately, you love the person you're committing to spend the rest of your life with - loving your wedding pales in comparison to that love and makes love for an event/day pretty unnecessary :) Sorry for the super verbose post!
I really hope I will love my wedding. I think I will because although I obviously care a lot and am putting a lot of effort into my wedding, I am a very easy going person (most of the time!) and am usually able to be content and happy and make the best out of most situations!! :)
I did NOT enjoy my wedding. I guess because the people I trusted to make my day go smoothly didn't follow through. My mom totally took control over the decor and did not understand my vision (but with other couples weddings she does a fantasic job!). My photographer didn't even show up - thankfully I was able to snag another photographer photographing another couple at the same location as my wedding. I picked a dress that my Mom loved and I wasn't too thrilled about. My reception was a joke. My maid of honor wore a BRIGHT YELLOW DRESS different than the black dress she was suppose to wear. And to top it all off, my husband's grandmother passed out at the reception which ended our reception pretty quick.
I'm still depressed about it and I almost don't feel like I was married. I did everything for everyone else to make them happy and in the end, they didn't do the same for me. I feel like I missed out on a wonderful day. I'm hoping to maybe "redo" my wedding with just my huaband and I...maybe in Hawaii or something. We will see.
I loved our wedding. I really did.
I think most brides, though (or at least, some brides), will go through a period of disappointment after their wedding. I went through mind a few weeks after the weddings. RIGHT after the wedding (honeymoon and a week or two after we got back) I was on cloud nine about everything. Thought it was perfect and was totally happy with everything.
Then, after a few weeks, something happened, and I was upset about a lot of stuff. Our flowers weren't what I wanted at all. I got so excited and anxious on the day before the wedding and wedding day that I didn't truly enjoy that time with my friends and family (which was something I was REALLY looking forward to). I second-guessed a lot of the decisions I made, and got kind of depressed about how we put SO much money into it, and it wasn't EXACTLY what we wanted.
But, I got over it. It just takes time. We got married. It was an amazing celebration that went by way too fast. I can honestly say that now I just accept the flaws and happily look at our amazing wedding photos with a sense of calmness that I'm married and I can move on with the rest of our lives together.
Ok, so right now I'm at the 3 month mark until my wedding. And it might be bad, but I'm not planning on loving my wedding. Part of me is depressed about it, but the other part of me is just trying to accept that the wedding is for our families and that's how it's going to be.
See we are paying about 90% of the wedding. We are both in human services, and don't make huge salaries. Also, I have school loans and we would really like to buy a house. So when I started realizing how much it would cost us to throw a big wedding, we decided to change our plans. FI and I are both shy and don't like to be the center of attention. Also, we both have HUGE families, but there is a lot of drama and difficulty in both of our families at times.
So we decided to have a very small wedding with only parents, grandparents and siblings there. We should have stuck to our guns and not given in. It was what we both wanted, would be very affordable without forcing us to put off buying a house.
But now we are inviting 100 people, half of which we don't even know very well, and stretching ourselves very thin to afford a much bigger wedding than we had planned on.
I have come around to enjoy talking with family and I think in the end, the day will go well. But if I had to do it over again, I would stick to my guns and go with a small wedding. This wedding just isn't me, and while it will be an amazing day because I'll be marrying FI, I'm trying to keep my hopes and expectations down.
Of course I hope we'll enjoy every last drop of our wedding and that everything will be as perfect as a dream can be, but we all know that nothing ever happens just that way. My number one priority for our wedding day - and I think I'll make this clear to my mother, my friends, and my FI - is to enjoy it absolutely no matter what. I think happiness is a choice more often than certainly I always realize, by which I mean that we can control how we react to adversity. I plan to do a whole lot of laughing at circumstances and at myself on that day, and that alone should help make it a wonderful time.
Having said that, you poor ladies who had to deal with things like your photographer not showing up or other disasters, I can't say that I know how to be zen enough to not get upset about that! I'm so sorry for everyone who had unfortunate circumstances damage their wedding. I suppose the best we can all do is hire trusted vendors and a very, very good DOC to fix any snags or catastrophes before we even know about them- that's what our DOC said her entire job is. Crossing fingers and praying from there!
I second what Littlest Birds said about happiness being a choice. I agree very much so. Life is never perfect and there are moment when you have to make the choice to focus on something that went wrong, or forget about it in order to enjoy the moment. Obviously that is much more difficult when you are spending a lot of money or people don't do the job that they were hired to do.
I'm not having the wedding that I really wanted. I have moments where I want to complain or cry, especially when things are going wrong in the planning process, but I've made the choice to enjoy planning as much as possible, and making this the best wedding possible. I'm not good at being the center of attention, so bridal showers and a wedding that is 4 times the size I'd wanted gives me some anxiety and uncertainty. But I made the decision to plan a wedding that would make our families happy, and there's a point that you just have to make the choice to be happy.
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Does anyone read A Practical Wedding? It's one of my favorite wedding blogs.
Anyway, she had a post last month about not loving your wedding and I'm wondering if any of the newlywed bees out there didn't love theirs, and why? And what would you do differently if you could?