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DH got into a mood last night and kept saying that he feels bad because he thinks I dont love my e-ring (weve been married almost a year now and hes said this before). I assured him I love my ring, and I really do! He said that its just weird because every guy hes talked to, the girl has gone with them to pick out the ring and we didnt do that. I think he feels insecure because all my friends have a ring with diamond side stones and mine is a solitaire and Ive commented that their rings are pretty. But Ive said this to THEM, not to DH like I want that. I never looked at rings before we got engaged, the only thing I told him was that I didnt want yellow gold and I wanted princess cut and he got a perfect ring, platinum with a solitaire princess cut diamond!
BTW, I think it stemmed from the fact that we might not be able to fit what we want engraved on my wedding band because its smaller and thin width wise. He said the only reason I got that was because the band on the e-ring he got me was thin. Which is true but I dont care how thick or thin the band is. Plus the diamond on the ring stands out, if it was a thicker band the diamond would "get lost" in the band. I got what looked better on my finger, some friends got really think bands because it looks better on their finger!
Am I the only bee here that didnt pick out her e-ring or go looking at rings with their FI? How can I assure him once and for all that I love my ring and wouldnt get another one? (I have told him it makes me feel bad when he says stuff like this because I know it makes HIM feel bad)
I didn't have ANY role in my ring at all, and I LOVE it!!! My two best friends got engaged after me, and got the multi stone engagement rings, and FI asked me the same question when I said they were beautiful. I also got a solitaire, but I LOVE it!! I used to think I liked the multiple stones, but now I love my solitaire, and I had no clue about it, and no role in picking it out!!
Fi took me once to look at rings so he could get a feel for my taste. I didn't help him pick it out when he went in for the real deal, though! I think he did a fantastic job!
FI and I never even talked about the kind of ring I wanted! All I said was that I wanted something sparkley and sparkley it is! hahaha. I really had no clue what I wanted and I love what he picked!
I also had ZERO role in the picking of my e-ring. FI wanted to completely surprise me with it. We'd never looked at rings together at all! And he picked out the perfect ring for me!! I love it!!
I didnt pick mine out. We had looked at rings 1.5 years before but I never really picked any that I liked.
Then he went and just found one he thought I would like and bought it :-) and I love it!
My FI wanted to pick mine out himself to surprise me. I love the ring he picked out! I may have picked a different cut, but that is the only thing I MIGHT change. I really do love it though and I thought he did a great job!! Plus, I think it is kind of cute to picture him at the jewelry store and looking at a bunch of rings to find the one he thinks is perfect. :)
I didn't pick mine either & it's perfect!! I don't think we even walked into a jewelry store together until we were looking for wedding bands.
Of course we talked about it. All I told him was that I wanted a square stone with sidestones - doesn't matter what kind, I just didn't want a solitaire. He did a great job. I think I love it even more because he picked it out himself without any input from me.
FI picked out the ring all by himself.
I think the only thing I mentioned was that a solitare wsa more my style than a three stone. Everything else he did on his own, and i LOVE my e-ring :)
I didn't have a single role in picking out my ring, and I'm so glad I didn't! The proposal was a complete surprise, and the ring was gorgeous. The fact that he picked it out all by himself {well, he had some help from my sister/bff} makes it even more special.
FI and I went ring shopping once. I told him what I liked. He went out on a limb and got me something completely different. He went with my godmother to buy the ring. Both my godmother and my jeweler said that his choice was more classic and that I would be happier with a timeless ring. I am very happy that he went out on a limb and got me the ring that he did.
My ring is his grandmothers--it's not what I would pick out but I love it because it is from family.
I'm actually in the opposite position as you because he didn't want to pick out his wedding band, he wanted me to pick it out alone. It was a lot of pressure! Granted he wanted plain and simple and I had about 3 choices I still look about 10x longer than I should have to decide. I can see how it could be hard to be suuure that someone really likes what you picked, especially maybe if he was deciding between a few and perhaps 1 had multiple stones like your friends. I think all you can say is there are few diamonds a girl doesn't like (and it's nature to oogle over friends!) but there is nothing better than the one given to her by her husband.
Like the other girls in this thread have said, I had absolutely ZERO role in picking out my ring.
It isn't exactly what I would've picked out for myself, obviously, but I love it anyway, and I REALLY love listening to my FH talk about how this detail or that detail just seemed so much like "me" :)
Nothing against the girls who picked their ring themselves, but personally, the whole proposal would have been much less romantic if I had a role in picking out my ring. I was completely in the dark. Had no clue the proposal was coming. I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic.
I think that whatever works for each couple is the best choice for them to make!
I personally wanted NO part in picking out my ering. FI knows me well enough to know what I like and my style and we both had talked prior about what our budget for the ring was. He did AHmazing on all counts.
A couple years back when we were in the Caymans I saw a ring at a jewelery shop that I LOVED but for some odd reason I was very uncomfortable with the fact that I was there if FI purchased it. I think I like the fact that the ring is a complete surprise, one that FI picked out.
And I agree, I love the fact that he picked every single part of my ring out. The band, the prongs, the diamond. All of it was individually selected with our jeweler.
I also didn't pick mine out! He asked me a few questions beforehand...pointed to other girls' rings and asked if I like them. He only knew that I wanted a round diamond and no yellow gold. My SIL went with him to help him out with the 4 Cs and to make sure he didn't get ripped off, but the whole design of my ring and everything, he did himself! I love that he did it himself too...b/c it really makes me feel like he wasn't pressured into something he didn't want to do. I love it!
my FH knew that I wanted a princess cut solitare, but we never went ring shopping together. He managed to find the perfect ring for me all on his own. I couldn't imagine going to pick out my own ring, I find it's more special when he picks it himself.
My FH picked out my ring all by his lonesome. The only "input" he had from me was on the sly.. just little questions like "did you notice that all your earrings are silver? why is that? don't you like gold too?"
He took some literal inspiration from my other jewelery tastes/general minimalist/simple design interest and went from there.
And I couldn't be happier with what he picked. Had I been involved in the process it would never have happened as I am eternally indecisive.
I didn't pick mine out or go shopping with FI to look. Because I worked for a jewelry company before I met FI, the shape diamond I like had come up in conversation, and for the setting he just went with something simple and classic. It wouldn't have been my #1 choice in settings, but I still love it, and because it's a timeless solitaire style I know I always will.
Thanks everyone, now I dont feel all alone! I agree with other posters, I really didnt want any role in picking out my ring. I wanted to be completely surprised with the proposal and not expect that it was coming. And I was, I had no idea he was going to propose! I think that was the best feeling and I didnt have anxiety about when he was going to ask :)
I didn't have much input on my ring, he picked it out all on his own. I did mention that I would like a colored stone (specifically a sapphire because it's both of our birth stones). He didn't end up getting a sapphire (he claimed it wasn't a strong enough stone), but did get a colored diamond. He did better than I could have done, I'm sure of that!
Weddingbee does make me feel sometimes that everyone goes and picks out a ring together and then waits for the guy to give it to them. Everyone needs to do what works for them and I'm sure that the girls that pick theirs out end up with 100% what they want and that's awesome.
My fiance picked out my ring and kept the whole process a complete surprise from me. Sure, we had already decided that we were going to get married and he knew that I wanted a ring and a proposal before we moved forward with that. I'm so happy though that it felt like such a genuine and true gesture of his love that he bought me this gift all on his own, without prompting, and found a sweet way to propose. I never felt like I was "waiting" because I didn't know what was going on. That really made it such a beautiful gift.
I didn't pick out my ring with my husband. He never asked for my opinion on what I liked in rings. He NEVER let me go into a jewelry store with him, he would jokingly/lovingly pull me away from them (like he does from Godiva... "You don't need those...").
So, he had no idea what I liked, and I never really got the chance to figure out what I liked either.
Then, he was presented with an heirloom engagement ring from my family and he gave it to me, so in the end even HE had NO say in what it looked like and neither did I.
I will say, I wish I would have had imput in the process at least a little, because my ring is very different from what I would have wanted. I'm not sure what advice to give as to how to reassure him - my own husband is starting to throw a little comment here and there too!
Lately, I've just admitted nothing, denied everything, and demanded proof. ;P
I did not pick out my e-ring or even go to look at rings with FI. He asked me what my top 2 cut choices were and from there he went to a jeweler and made my ring. What is special to me is he asked my mom for help and took her to meet with the jeweler a couple of times as he designed my ring. Makes it even more special that he was sweet enough to include my mom!
I didn't pick out my e-ring either. I had shown my fi a few rings I liked in magazines, but he picked out something completely different. It was a total surprise and I love it. I like that he picked it on his own, too!
I had zero input on my e-ring and I love it. My FI actually has way better taste than me when it comes to clothes/accessories, so I'm glad he didn't ask me what I wanted. I wouldn't have known! And the ring he picked out is so me. To this day, I've never seen one that looks more "me" than the one he picked.
I didn't pick out my e-ring. I wanted to be surprised! Isn't that half the fun of getting engaged??
I LOVE my e-ring! FI did an amazing job!
wow, such a different feeling than some other post and boards. I really was starting to feel like everyone else went shopping to pick out their e-ring too!
by the time i started to send him links of rings i liked, and pointing them out in passing at stores, though we never went to try any on.... he had already bought one, so i had no input. i pretty much would have been torn between a pave band or baguette side stones. he went with the pave band and a larger center stone than i probably would have went with and i love it!
My husband choose the ring all by himself and I love it. It means a lot to me that he knows me so well and selected such a beautiful ring. He even took another ring of mine to the jeweler so that it was the right size. Props to the men that can ring shop on their own!
We never went to look at rings together, but you better believe that I showed Mr. Smith what I liked! I left a pic on the fridge of the ring i wanted with my ring size written on there. He took that pic, swithced it with a replica and took it to a jewler he knew in his hometown and they designed my ring together! Although all of the rings that I showed him were solitaires, he fell in love with the look of a 3 stone and thats what I got! I absolutely love my ring and all the thought he put into it :)
Just like everyone else, I didn't pick out my ring. I just told him that I liked yellow gold and oval shaped diamonds. Back in 2007, I had told him that I wanted him to pick out the ring and for me to not go with him. He wasn't crazy about this, as he wanted me to pick out the ring with him. He said after a few months of looking, he enjoyed the process of learning about the 4Cs. He looked at online retailers and ended up going with a local jeweler who had custom made the ring and wedding band.
I agree with one other poster when she said if she had a role in picking out her ring, the proposal would have been less romantic. I wanted to be completely surprised.
DH had my e-ring for a WEEK before he proposed. We lived together, and I didn't even know he'd bought one! I had no say in the ring, because I had NO CLUE I was getting engaged! But my ring is perfect, and EXACTLY what I would have picked for myself - 1/3 carat round brilliant in a tension setting. That's right, no prongs! If my ring had a prong setting, I just know I'd have lost the diamond by now. I'm such a klutz.
@texasmeredith - I agree, I think getting engaged should be a surprise! :)
I had nothing to do with mine! I had been pretty vocal about wanting to get engaged, but although I occasionally looked online, had NO idea in what I wanted in a ring. But mine is absolutely perfect! If you had sat me down with about 20 other rings, this is definitely the one I would want to wear on my hand forever. Its simple, but he even tweaked the design with the jeweler to make it more me. Everyone I showed it to when we first got engaged just commented how it was like me...only in ring form! He did a great job and I'm SO glad that it was a complete surprise. I know picking it out works for other people, but I love surprises and my FI has my taste down to a tee.
Mine was a complete surprise. No input whatsoever, not even my ring size. He did it all. I love it completely and was/am blown away that he did it without me - seriously impressed and deeply touched would be the top of my list of emotions about it.
I found it interesting that my parents actually went shopping together and picked out my mom's engagement ring, back in 1971 when they got engaged. I thought that was more of a modern thing. My mom was surprised when I told her that it's more traditional for the ring to be a surprise. News to her!
Of the four couples I know who got engaged in the last six months or so, one went ring shopping together, the other three did the surprise thing.
Your FI has got to start listening to you on this one. You said you've brought it up before, but let him know you're serious: it's hurtful that he doesn't believe you when you tell him you love the ring. It may be just a little thing in the big picture of a marriage, but he has to learn how important it is to trust you when you tell him how you feel.
@kaybee - Thats so cute that he took another ring of yours with him to get the size! He had SIL ask me one night what ring size I was because we were gonna go to a bridal show with a friend and I wanted to pretend I was engaged and get free stuff :) Turns out she forgot the size because she was drinking when she asked me!!
DH talked to both his brothers that are married about the ring, bought a book and learned all about it and made sure he got what was best. He did it perfectly!
@littlestbirds - I think he really does know and believe that I am serious but lets his head get the best of him, which I do all the time. I KNOW something but then I overthink it and then get all jumbled up. Maybe he just needs reassurance?
Well we didn't go ring shopping together, but FI knew I wanted a solitaire with a yellow gold band. In terms of the shape of the diamond, I had originally liked the asscher cut, but i didn't say I needed a certain cut. I did give some suggestions on the color, quality of the cut and carat though...
He did pick it out and have it mounted by himself.
this is going to sound bad but my e-ring is a hand me down.
i dont care he worked hard for it and it meant a lot to him i really dont care i got to pick the bands
My instructions to my fiance were, "platinum band". Everything else was 100% up to him. And I love my ring. When I told one of my bridesmaids that I'd gotten engaged, her first words were, "Congratulations! Do you like the ring?" And I totally agree with her point of view: My fiance took the time to pick a ring that he thought I would love, but not necessarily one that he adores. A friend of mine has an e-ring that's radically different from mine, and I don't like hers at all. And I suspect that she doesn't really like mine. But we each love the ring we have - our men chose perfectly.
He sent me lots of pictures to see what I liked, but I told him I wanted him to pick something out himself. My only specification is that I wanted a ruby. He got something custom and vintage-style, and I've never seen anything like it! Love it so much more because it was his design for me. :-)
The mister and I discussed what I liked for a long time, but I didn't know he was shopping or planning anything. And I was gifted the most beautiful version of what we had discussed. I didn't pick it out, but he knew what I liked.
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