Did anyone opt out on a bridal shower AND a bachelorette party?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
567 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@vip0802:  I think the parties are what you make them. We actually had a brunch for my bridal shower. My aunt had phenomenal food. Eggs, bacon, muffins, mimosas, etc. The guests were pleased that it wasn’t typical bridal shower food. We also didn’t play too many games. The ones we did play were actually a lot of fun. She gave away some really neat prizes. I felt like people enjoyed themselves a lot. It really goes beyond the party. I think it is more about celebrating with the ones you love because this is a moment so special to everyone, they want to share in it with you.

I am in total agreement with you on the bach. party! We had a nice dinner, a few drinks, and then my MOH took me to a piano bar! It was so awesome, he played fabulous music and even called me up on stage for a song. It was so low key and couldn’t have been more perfect. Then we had a slumber party afterwards.

Hope this helps!

Post # 4
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

me…I don’t like either.  I feel very awkward being the centre of attention when people are giving me gifts.  It just seems so bizarre to me, so no shower here.

I don’t want a bachelorette either, my MOH and BM might come with me to the hot springs for an afternoon and maybe grab some lunch, but that’s about it

Post # 5
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t want a bridal shower, and if I have a bachelorette party it’s probably going to be something more like a girls night, maybe slumber party or mani/pedis and dinner. I have ZERO interest in going out and getting trashed and having some sweaty mostly naked stranger grind up on me. Yuck.

Post # 6
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@vip0802:  I’ve opted out of both. My best friend insists on hosting a little cocktail brunch in my honour as a low key no-gifts-please pre-wedding celebration, but that’s because she’s obsessed with party planning.

Besides that, showers make me uncomfortable and I go out to party regularly already. I don’t need to go out specifically because I’m getting married since I’m pretty sure bars aren’t going to close up shop once I get hitched. 

Post # 7
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Since we are already married from a courthouse wedding in December and have been living together for 6 years. We’ve had a house for going on 5 years so I really do not see the need nor do I want a bridal shower. My 2nd wedding if you will takes place in early June and my girls are already hinting they want to throw a bachelorette party for me. My husband wants to have a bachelor party so I guess we will have girls night out and a guys night out but definitely not the bridal shower. Due to how our events have unfolded so far, I feel that people would just see it as a gift grab if my mom and bridesmaids were to give me a shower.

Post # 8
Member
849 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@vip0802:  I did not have either, though I was offered. I don’t regret it, it seemed like an extra expense on top of an expensive wedding and I didn’t want to burden anyone with planning. 

Post # 8
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee

Hmmm, I’m not sure if I’m having either a bridal shower or bachelorette party too :S Your description of a bachelorette party sounds lovely and if you’d like the idea of a bridal shower you could always do something like a brunch or afternoon tea – it’d be a point of difference from dinner and it’ll be much more economical to hold than another full blown dinner.

There is also the idea of a ‘kitchen tea’ which I’ve come across and I think is a lovely idea. Basically it was to fit out a future kitchen with small items (think mixing bowls, tupperware, whisks, etc) and/or “gift” recipes that might be family or well-loved favourites. It’d be a good idea if you and your FI are into cooking  – but if not, you could always theme it to something else that interests you.

Post # 9
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

I’m not even engaged, but I would definitely forgo the bachelorette.  I’m not entirely sold on a shower either.  One of my besties was married last year and she didn’t want a roaring party.  So we spent a whole day with her family and close friends just doing things she liked – we had lunch, had tea and cakes, cheese platter, nail painting, watched a couple of disney movies, just gave her a relaxing day to hang out without any bridal pressure.  She asked that we not do presents as well.  Then we all went out for a nice dinner and a some cocktails after.  It was a really good day and she was so happy.  That is what I would want.

Post # 10
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I won’t be having either!  I feel like it’s already a big ask having a destination wedding and I don’t want my friends and family to have another added expense! TBH I find them incredibly boring anyway 🙁

Post # 11
Member
655 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB

I am not having either one. I feel it’s kinda unnessecary to be honest. I have told my bridesmaids i don’t want some druken romp. I am hiring people to come to my suite the night before the wedding and do massages and facials and mani pedis. I figure a pajama party with some good takeout is all i need. 

Post # 12
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

vip0802:  I’m having a wedding to celebrate my marriage, I just don’t feel I need a shower or batchelorette on top of that. We’re not having anything like that.

Post # 13
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I opted out of both. Instead of doing these things, the day before the wedding I scheduled manis at a beautiful spa with my mom, my sister and my husbands mom and sisters. We then went for a lovely lunch after, which was perfect for us.

Post # 14
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

It’s your wedding, and I don’t think any bride should feel the pressure to do something that they do not want to do.

Personally I’m not into bridal showers and didn’t want one but my MIL wanted to throw one for me and so I agreed to let her throw one for me so that she would feel involved without trying to take over the wedding. I also made sure she wouldn’t ask my bridesmaids for help because I don’t want them to have to take on too much and I also told her I didn’t want my bridesmaids to have to get me any gifts for the shower.

As for the bachelorette, I wanted to do this but not in the typical way. I only want my bridesmaids there because I feel like they’ve taken out their time and money to help me in this next step so it should be a send off for me into married life but also a fun time for them with me. So we’re just going away for the weekend. And I told them nothing penis related because I will refuse.

Post # 15
Member
643 posts
Busy bee

I definitely won’t have a traditional bacherlorette party, which brings to mind dancing, drinking, bars, clubs, or spa days. None of that appeals to me or my social group. 

However, my friends and I may go shopping in the states and just spend some time together. Using my wedding as an excuse to get together is fine with me!

As for a bridal shower, I really don’t need or want one. My partner and I have lived together for years and I lived alone and with another partner before that. 

My guess is that ultimately I have little say/control over what my friends and family plan, so I will just be grateful they are making the effort to celebrate with me (if they do). 

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