- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
…when the actress ‘Mother of the Bride’ kept insulting the actress ‘Bride’ for either being too fat or too skinny? They wanted to see what the bystanders would say (if anything)….
A couple of the bystanders did intervene and said to the ‘Bride’ something along the lines of, "this is YOUR day and you should feel wonderful…" Another woman said to the ‘Mother of the Bride’, "you should never call your child ugly. Your child is beautiful."
Now, my mother has never called me ugly. Nor has she come out and used the word fat. But I am getting married in June, and for the past 6 months it seems every time I talk to her, she says, "have you been to the gym?"
Let me clarify that I am by no means overweight. I am 5’8 and about 150 pounds. I was in cheerleading most of my life, until college, and I’ve never really had to work at staying thin…a day or two of exercise or not eating, and I’d lose 5-10 pounds. These days, it’s not so easy, and getting into the habit of "working at it" has been near impossible. I could stand to lose a few pounds, maybe tone up my arms and abs and Lord knows my butt and thighs could use some work…but I am not exactly a heifer here. Also, please keep in mind that I am a first-year graduate school student and I am an alternative-certified, first year 6th grade Language Arts teacher…and any teacher at my school can agree, this has been the year from hell for all of us. Needless to say, mustering up the energy to get out of bed most days is a feat in itself….so finding the energy (not to mention the time) to work out is nearly impossible.
Yet my mother still hounds, harrasses, and comments. When I say no, I did not go to the gym today, she says, "well I just think you’re going to be really unhappy with your wedding pictures if you don’t get on it."
My mother, on the other hand, is about 5’9 or 5’10 and weighs at least 40 pounds more than I do. She has high blood pressure and is bordering on diabetic. When I grow fed up with her comments and say, "why don’t you worry about yourself," she says, "I’m not the one getting married."
Today, the straw finally broke the camel’s back, so to speak. Two days ago, she shoved Alli diet pills in my face, even though I’ve told her I don’t want to take them because of the side effects. Oh, there’s no side effects, she says. Well, anybody who tells you that Alli has no side effects is LYING, at least if you eat any fat at all — that includes cheese. And to spare you the gross details, let’s just say liquid comes out of places that liquid isn’t supposed to come out of. And when it’s not supposed to.
So, I’ve had enough. And I told my mother that from now on, my weight is off limits for her. I just don’t want us to discuss it at all. She said, "who is going to be honest with you?" and I said, "I am aware of how I look, and you’ve pointed it out, so I don’t think you need to mention it any more."
Well of course she had to throw in there that I need to try on my dress occassionally, you know, to make sure it still fits my lard ass, apparently (no she didn’t call me a lard ass, but she might as well have). By the way, my dress has a corset back that, at my current weight, ties nearly as tight as it will go. I have a little room, and I’m not GAINING weight anyway.
So THEN you know what she said?
She said I am going to look bigger than my fiance in our pictures.
My fiance is 6 feet tall and weights around 175 pounds.
Trying to figure out how to deal, here.