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my fiance and I are more conservative, and to be completely honest, he would have no interest in seeing a stripper (and nor would I), so I'm not very worried about our bachelor/bachelorette party's. He'll probably play video games with his guys haha.
My FI would definitely be open to it if I expressed an interest in setting boundaries, but I'm not going to do so. I think I'd be more jealous of him having fun without me than I would be of him seeing someone dancing without their clothes on. I don't know, this sort of thing has just never bothered me.
There are a lot of things I feel like I can tolerate, but then you hear all of the bad stories, and I'm not talking about what the bachelor does, but what the strippers do. There's some raunchy a** stuff out there, so with that I wanted to make sure he knows how I feel about it. I think overall it's just hard for us to talk about, I think we both get kinda jealous thinking about it but utlimately we do trust eachother and don't want to deprive each other of having a bachelor/ette party.
I have four rules.
1) No babies (well, another word)
2) No diseases
3) No injuries
4) No arrests
Other than that, I can live. Him and about 14 guys are going to New Orleans for a long weekend. It sounds pretty epic. They are mostly all professionals in their 30s, so they have the means and the sophistication have a good time without going overboard.
I like the no arrests one, that's the last thing I would want to hear.
i sent hubby off to his b-party with a custom made tshirt with a long list of rules that included no shaving of any body parts, not being put on a airplane for distant parts of the country and no coming home with a girlfriend - i cant remember all of them but the guys had alot of laughs about it. oh, it also included my phone number so if any of the rules where being broken i had to be phoned
like someone said above, my guy is also pretty conservative so although he had a hard core b-party (including girls sex show) he didnt particpate
My FH is conservative and doesnt like that sort of thing.. However his best man is a differant kettle of coffee and well really I wouldnt trust what he has planned.
Luckily there are no strip joints in our city, and hardly if any strippers. so that will not be an issue.
I gave the rule, no arrests and if he does get arrested, and to put him off getting in trouble or if one of his friends chains him to a telephone pole he still has to call my dad.. (my dads a baptist minister so Im sure it will go down well) haha!
he doesnt want me to have male strippers, so he gets no female. i guess we are pretty conservative... somewhat. he says he doesnt want them, and i believe him as he has never been.
and i said that he has to sleep on his side (he throws up when hes drunk)
and no getting arrested or getting lost.
other than that, have effin fun! i know i will!
The only rules I think I'm going to be giving my FI involve making sure he comes home without any bodily harm. I don't feel the need to go over what is and is not allowed; I trust him to make his own decisions about what's appropriate, and besides, I have no idea what his friends have planned for his bachelor party and so wouldn't even know where to begin!
I think the fact that I'm not worried stems a lot from the fact that when FI organized his best man's bachelor party when he was the one getting married, FI called me about four times during the course of the night. I eventually told him "Stop calling me, you're supposed to be having MAN-TIME!"
No strippers, male or female. Neither of us are interested to begin with, but we laid the rule out there more for the sake of those planning the parties than for either of us to follow.
I told him to have fun and don't get hurt!
He went and played games and had steak at Dave and Busters all night. Pretty G-rated.
I had a male stripper and went out dancing with my friends. And my mom, lol. In fact, mom paid for the stripper, lol. And he knew ahead of time. I think he thought it was funny b/c he knows how I am about other guys!
He didn't care and told me to have fun!
I did 
well my fi knew he didn't have to worry about me. my bachelorette party consisted of a weekend trip to vermont, where the most risky thing we did was taste some beer during our food tour. i had one sip of my sister's beer. he was originally going to have the traditional bachelor party at the strip club, but i simply told him i was uncomfortable with him getting a lap dance (no girls who-ha on my man!) and he said he wouldn't go at all, knowing that everyone would be trying to buy him lap dances. they went to bars instead.
The only rules we had were no strippers. But his mom called me at 7:30 am the morning after and my heart about exploded. She wanted to talk about the rehearsal dinner, I thought something bad had happened, lol.
He's going to Memphis in May with a bunch of his buddies. I've told him to have fun and don't let anyone get arrested. I'm sure there will be strippers, but it's not something I am worried about. He knows the line and I know he won't cross it.
We don't have any rules, although I've told him 1. I don't want to know about it and 2. I don't want a lap dance to get out of hand. I trust him, and he trusts me, but I don't really need or want that picture in my head!
not married yet, but my man brought up this topic of his own accord ages ago. i'd always though bachelor parties sounded awful, but was really relieved to hear FI say that he didn't understand why the traditional bachelor party was like that, said he certainly didn't believe it was the man's last night of 'singlehood' since he'd stopped being single long before that party, and besides, he thought strippers looked gross anyway, he certainly wouldn't want one touching him (ladies...i know it's wrong but i have actually looked at his porn collection on his laptop, which he's since deleted when he decided to stop looking at porn...again totally of his own accord, boy was i shocked...and he's for real! nothing even close to the fake boobs, fake blonde hair, too much makeup, gonorrhea-having typical stripper type). lol, obviously all of this made me extremely happy to hear. i trust that if it were up to him to organize his b-party, it would not involve strip clubs and the like, mostly just drinking at bars, video games, and other innocuous stuff. but his friends are generally young and bad influences, so it makes me a little worried! oh well, i believe that he would not do anything i'd be uncomfortable with (no lap dances, no touching women, obviously no kissing, handjobs, sex, etc).
actually, i was a little drunk when this conversation occurred, but i just remembered last night, when we were hanging out with one of his best friends and some of my other friends, said friend of FI, who had just gotten back that day from a six-month trip to germany, said he did not like strip clubs: "they're a cocktease, and how frustrating is that? and worse, it's made awkwardly public. it's like masturbating, but not being able to come, in public." this from his single BFF. i feel a bit more relieved remembering that. haha.
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So I had a lengthy conversation with my FH about our upcoming bachelorette/bachelor parties. He hates talking about this altogether, but to avoid any problems I wanted to make sure to discuss this. The thing is he's unhappy with how rules have changed over the years, and he says that rules tend to bend my way. For example, I used to say no private parties (at a house, hotel) with strippers, strip clubs only. Well I waived it and he says I did it only because I had attended one where this was the case, so he had given up on rules on this subject. However, I am trying to be as accomodating and fair as possible, and there are some things I'm still firm on and wanted him to agree to. So after an hour and a half conversation (it went from what have you seen, to is this ok? or what about if this happens, etc.) so we decided no private room services/dances whatever. And btw, the obvious was always understood between us, like any intimate touching, kissing, etc. that has always been understood, but there's all of these other things that you hear about. So just be safe and avoid any misunderstandings, I wanted to clear things up. Did any of you have similar experiences? Was your FH open to setting up these rules/boundaries?