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My sister is having a family member at her wedding who I believe 100% would steal from her. (The family member steals all the time) My sis is obligated to invite her because she is in the immediate family. I personally think she shouldn't, but if she doesn't, the family will cause major drama over it. This individual will take the money to buy drugs, and will probably do anything to get the cards.
Have you ever heard of anyone stealing money even when the card box is locked?
My mom keeps warning me about this, but I've never seen or heard of it happening. Interested to see what others have experienced!
No one stole anything at our wedding; however, in your situation, I would have someone responsible in charge of looking after the card/gift table. The person that you designate could empty and store away the cards as they collect in whatever you are using to collect them in, and then they can give them to you at a designated time. Maybe designate two people, so one person doesn't have to be watching the entire time.
i voted other because many times i have been given the job of keeper of the cards - i make a satin pouch big enough for envelopes and as the guest give their gifts to either the couple or the gift box i take them and put them in the satin bag and i keep it with me all night and hand them to the couple as they leave. the last wedding i did this for was because the brides parents are chinese and there was a big hassle between the bride and groom (who were paying for the wedding ) and her parents who thought they should be able to take the money and keep it - talk about awkward.
at my nephews wedding 3 people had items stolen, a camera and a couple of phones that were left on the tables but no idea if it was guests or staff
My parents went to a wedding where the wedding planner stole all the envelopes and cards. They didn't figure out for a while that it was the wedding planner, but the person got caught using one of the stolen gift cards at home depot. I'm not sure they recovered much of anything from it.
I think designating a trusted person to periodically collect everything and hold on to it is a good idea.
This didn't happen to me but we did attend one where it happened. A cousin took all the cards, opened them and took the cash/gift cards. He left the cards and the checks. If the gift table is not going to be in a visible location, it is probably a good idea to have someone keep an eye out.
I've thankfully never had this happen at any of the weddings I've planned. However, I never put the cardbox near the entrance/exit door. I usually do a table near the stage/DJ or close to the head table or cake table. Somewhere visible.
I've never understood why people would do this. I know from my first wedding we got a handful of giftcards, a very small amount of cash and some checks. Where can you cash a check that isn't yours? I can't imagine even trying to do that. Ick.
We didn't have any theft at ours. Indeed, a camera I left there by accident was found several months later and returned to me. However, we had our reception at a private club, so there was no one there other than our guests. And the club owner and security people were personal friends, so they were keeping an eagle eye out for anyone who might spoil our day.
how would you really know? most thieves don't get caught. As far as I know we weren't stolen from. I put bells on the card box so that if someone tried to take it hopefully someone would have heard them leaving with it.
Wow. I would never have thought about that! That's just crazy how horrible people can be. As many have stated, having someone to kind of guard them sounds like a good idea.
My adopted dad's father stole a money tree from his first marriage, about $5k total. They didn't speak for...a long time (I think 20 years or so). I'm pretty sure I don't have any family members who would do this now... I agree with @noritake22: designate someone to collect any cards.
Designate someone to keep an eye on the box and another to keep an eye on your guest!
I know this isnt as extreme
My sister had chocolate sea shells on her cake, and some unknown family member went and ate them all off!
Somone said they saw them do it, but wont say who, to keep from drama, oh boy!
I've personally never been aware of this happening at a wedding, but I was told by multiple people to make sure the gift table is placed somewhere inside the room, farther from the door.
This isn't just a precaution with your guests, but also with party crashers who could just pop inside, grab the card box and run.
Our venue is pretty small, so I don't think we'll have an issue with people being able to leave with things, but my wedding coordinator (and very close friend) has already offered to keep an eye on the table, so I think we'll be fine.
Also, what horrible people steal from a wedding? That's just rotten!
Thank you for starting this thread. I was going to have my card box right at the entrance. Now that I think about it, that would make it super easy for someone to just take it and bolt. I think I will put it up by our table now. Thanks!!!!
.....and maybe I will still designate someone to keep an eye on it.
Thank God no, or at least that i'm aware of. But my husbands grandmother took it upon herself to keep on eye on our birdcage full of cards. Assign someone to watch the cards and but them upfront where everyone could see.
MY BIL had half their wedding cards stolen too, and they thought they knew their friends. :(
At my one daughter's wedding, the groom's Uncle went around taking the favors left on some tables out of the boxes! He had his suit pockets filled with them, so people said he was probably going to sell them on Ebay. They were bottle stoppers, but it was really weird...and almost sad. Why didn't he just ASK us for them if he wanted them?
Our wedding hasn't happened yet and I HOPE no one would do that to us.. That's horrible! I know that it does happen though. My cousin was at her uncle's wedding in a hotel ballroom and she said random people would walk by the door and snatch up gifts! Like big boxes with bows on them, nothing small and discreet. I mean, stealing anything is wrong but the fact that they took the big stuff is just ridiculous. Some people have no shame!
Our gift table was on the stage, right next to the head table and bridal party tables, and there is no exit at that point. So someone would have to walk back through the crowd to get out. No one took anything to my knowledge
A lock won't do any good if she takes off with the entire box (which I've heard of people doing). If you think theft is a possibility, I would try to somehow secure the box to the table. I remember reading about someone rigging up a carpenters vice to secure the box and clamping it to the back of the table. The only way to get it off would be to unscrew the vice which I imagine would draw some unwanted attention.
My mom's a little paranoid about wedding day theft. Even though we're having a smallish (75 ppl) wedding and we know everyone in attendance, she's still worried about someone taking off with our cards. Actually, she doesn't even want to let our DOC transport the gifts back to our hotel room. She'd rather either her or my dad or FI's parents handle the gifts. Fine with me as long as they're safe and sound.
That's weird and sad too. I would cry if my wedding cake was ruined like that lol. Well that person probably left with diabetes haha
As a general rule, don't trust an active addict (speaking from personal experience, I was a horrible person when I was using). Do whatever you can to keep your gifts and wedding stuff safe.
It happened to a friend of mine. We just spoke with our caterer and they told us that after the reception started they would take the gifts off the table and lock them up for us until we were ready to leave, I thought that was a nice touch.
We had a really funny wedding crasher and some of our male guests kind of chaperoned him while he walked around - everyone thought it was funny until I reminded my sister that people have their card boxes stolen sometimes. It was then that she offered the crasher a couple bottles of heineken and sent him on his way! :)
I recommend that everyone has a designated family member to collect everything post reception - and preferably a nondrinker. :)
Wedding day theft is such a shame! A very sad side of modern society.
Like others have said the best thing is to have a non drinker take all cards (and gifts if possible) and keep them safe till the end of the night.
I have heard of this happening to couples....absolutely horrible!
The only thing I can think of in your situation, would be to have one person be designated as the card holder. Or, if she has a locked box - perhaps keeping it in clear sight so that others can ensure if remains there.
Never heard of anyone stealing anything from the card basket. Also never seen a card box in person either as stealing was never an issue to begin with, even with questionable folks in attendance.
While I did think about it, I wasn't seriously concerned at our wedding. I would have somene keep an eye on the gift box. Take it away after cocktail hour so the box is emtpy but still keep an eye on it!
Nope, but at Chinese weddings there is someone at the signing table noting down envelopes and such. Our "cardbox" was there, so guarded.
I would do something similar.
I had a friend that had her card box stolen. Most of the cards had cash in them and the ones that had checks in them were able to be voided and reissued. After that I have never given just cash. I will write a check just in case someone takes it. Even if they cash it by forging the name, at least it could be tracked back to the person who stole it.
I have another friend that suggested on her website that large gifts not be brought to the wedding because of transportation issues.
Is there any way you can suggest they hire security to watch the table and/or doors? Let them know that only x person is to be seen taking the card box or gifts away?
Not to my knowledge, we didn't get cards from a few guests so I guess those could have been stolen. We had the birdcage in the room and the hotel actually refused to deliver it to our hotel room after the reception ended. We had to physically carry it out because they didn't want to be liable for anything.
My mother worked at a hotel where a reception was being held. Two men came in dressed in tuxedos. It was near the end of the evening and they acted like they were part of the wedding party and were taking the gifts to the car. Picked up all the gifts and left. So sad :(
I have read this is why it is important not to have gift table near exit.
@Leesh: Yeah, putting gifts and cards at the entrance is a bad idea.
My FI and I attended a wedding at a community center and were told that a few of the local homeless came in and attempted to steal some of the gifts/cards that were near the door. While the wedding was in a very nice neighborhood (marin county, CA) there is always the risk. The table was promptly moved to the back of the room near the cake table.
Kind of related - this is one of the reasons that sending thank you cards promptly can be important.
My parents went to a wedding and didn't receive a thank you for an entire year! My mom thought that perhaps their ($400!!!) gift certificate had been stolen and eventually called the groom's parents to make sure that it hadn't been. She was hesitant to call because it seemed like a faux pas in case they just hadn't done their thank yous yet (which, thankfully, was the case!).
I haven't had my wedding yet, but I'm wondering if I should lock my card box somehow. After hearing some people complain about having items stolen from them, I feel a little worried. Does anyone else have experience with this?
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