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I took 9 weeks with my first daughter and will probably do about the same with this one (currently at week 3 1/2 of maternity leave). Honestly, I would not be able to go back in a few days at week 4. Maybe week 6. It all depends on your situation I guess and you have to do what is right for your family. I also do not get any paid maternity leave so we saved enough for 12 weeks just in case of any unexpected complications.
I took 8-1/2 weeks (baby came on a Tuesday so I took an extra 1/2 week to be able to go back on a Monday). I know for me around week 5 I was bored and would have gladly gone back to work. However, around week 7 is when baby starts getting interactive and becomes fun so it can be difficult to go back to work.
I went back at 9 weeks. I had visions of starting to do some work from home starting around week 4, and maybe even heading in to the office for a few hours a week around week 6, but that never panned out. I was pretty exhausted and overwhelmed for the first 6 weeks or so- there's no way I could have gotten anything done. That 6 week mark was a definite low point- DS was still only sleeping two hours at a time, breastfeeding was still often frustrating, and there was a huge backlog of housework and bill-paying and sorting-of-baby-stuff and laundry to try to work through.
I think getting to get some decent sleep in would have made all the difference- for example, if we'd been formula feeding and DH could have split night feedings with me, or if DS had been a better/longer sleeper, I think I could have handled it.
For me, the upside of going back to work at 9 weeks was that DS wasn't fun yet. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't interacting, he was just needy and exhausting. And going back to work was tiring, but also meant that I could go to the bathroom when I wanted, and eat whenever I wanted, and check my email, and talk to grownups, and not have a creature attached to my boobs all day. It was kind of a relief. Whereas if I'd waited another month, it would have been much sadder to leave DS, since by that point he was fun and I felt confident enough to go out and do stuff with him.
We get 8 weeks in NY State and like @Tatum: my firm is too small to qualify for FMLA.
I imagine I will take 8-9 weeks depending on if a holiday weekend falls on the end of my leave time. Per my due date now I might hit July 4th weekend. So we'll see.
How do you know if you company is too small for FMLA? Did you just ask them directly? I work for a small company too so I'm interested to know about this
http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs28.htm
The company must have 50 or more employees.
The federal regulations I am pretty sure are 50 employees within a 25 mile radius. Mine only has about 20, but they will honor FMLA anyways. If you have fewer than 50 you should still check because they might still do it.
ETA:
@mstwitter:
No, working from home is not an option. Someone a lot higher than me on the food chain had to work from home for a month due to medical problems, and it was a huge hassle that a lot of IT people had to get involved with and I guess it was quite expensive- I have a lot of software programs on my computer that due to privacy regulations cannot be uploaded onto another computer.
Have you asked if it's a possible to work half days from home too? A good friend of mine was in a similar situation. Her employer allowed her after the first 6 weeks to work half days from home and half days at work. She was able to get her full pay and they were able to still have her working.
Wow I never knew this, but when you apply for FMLA, you apply directly to the agency right? Or do you apply through your company.
What other options are there if your company is too small? THat would be so sucky not to get anything!
Def 8 weeks for me. :( States in the handbook. I'm sure if I chose to take an extra week they won't be a stickler about it. But I wouldn't push it to 12 weeks since they techinically only allow 8 weeks.
My husband and I are thinking a lot about this. The thought of putting our 2 month infant in daycare for 9 hours breaks my heart. If we have to we have to. But we're thinking about swapping our hours so that he can drop the baby off around 9 and I pick up around 1 or 2. And swap pick up and drop off. We'll see, he'll be starting a new position soon that will hopefully allow for that kind of schedule.
I work for a small company too and am planning on going back after 8 week full time. I'm hoping that all goes well and I can start working early, like 5 or 6 weeks, just for half days to get used to going into work, pumping and leaving the little boy home with his dad. I know it's going to be tough!
I had a coworker that went back after 6 weeks (she had just started the job 2 months before she went on maternity leave so she didn't qualify for FMLA). It can definitely be done, but it won't be easy. But, based on your post, going back after 6 weeks will probably be easier than eating into your savings.
You could check into your state laws as well. I am pretty sure the state of MN allows for 6 weeks, but that includes your paid time. I couldn't, for example, take 4 weeks of vacation and then start my 6 weeks unpaid. I could take 4 weeks and get another 2 unpaid. And like I said, my company does not have to comply with FMLA but it will still allow 12 weeks unpaid, so that's something.
If there are no state laws regarding unpaid maternity leave, and your company does not qualify for FMLA, I guess you're either at the mercy of your boss or you might have to take a chance that your job will not be available after you come back. But I think most individual states have some kind of rule in place.
UGH. I can't tell you how much of a pain it was to find out information on this at my office. It's not totally their fault. Thankfully a co-worker is almost due and she was willing to share information with me early on.
In NYS your employer is only required to give you 8 weeks of unpaid leave. However, you can apply for Disability which will give you 50% of your pay UP TO $170 per week. I'm sorry but is that even minimum wage??
Key thing to remember is you can not apply for disability until the condition exists. So basically yeah you apply when you're going into labor. And it won't likely kick in for a week or so. So make sure you have some vacation time to use for that week you're waiting for that first check.
Thankfully, my employers purchased a policy that increased the max $170 to $500. Not all of my paycheck but better than $170!
I plan on taking 8 to 10 weeks. My company I can do short term disability and FMLA. Plus use vacation time that is built up.
I took 8 weeks and went back part time for the remainder of the 12 week leave. Only I never went back full time. It just made sense to save the day care be able to be home more.
I do know someone that went back at 6 weeks as well because she had no vacation time and our company only gave 6 weeks for short term disability leave.
I'm in the same boat as you, small office so no FMLA or maternity leave. Right now we're saving up for me to stay at home for 8 weeks but that is about as much as I'll get. My husband is planning to stay at home then for a week so we'll stretch it to 9 weeks before having to have other child care. I would love to have 12 weeks!
I don't mean to throw negativity into this thread, or hijack it...But it really pains me to read how little maternity leave you ladies get and how it much it differs from one company to another and one state to the next. I live in a country with mandatory 16 weeks paid leave for all women and I truly wish we did the same thing in the states. I actually want to move back to the US, but I want to wait and have a baby here so I can take advantage of maternity leave and free medical care. It just makes me sad that as a country we don't take better care of new mothers and allow them the rest and time with their babies that they deserve.
A co-worker of mine took 6 weeks. It's possible, depending on how you're feeling, if you had a c-section, etc. I was planning to take only 8, but now I will be quitting instead, and looking for a new job around 12 weeks (unrelated to the time I get off; I just hate the job - its new- and leave is unpaid anyway so I feel no obligation really)..
I am interested to read this thread as well. I'm due late Dec. and planning to take 4 weeks off, then 2 more weeks working 2-3 days a week. It isn't ideal but this is what will work best for our home and financial situation. I'm not looking forward to going back to work so early but my hubby is going to stay at home for the first 6 months or so so that makes it easier for me.
I totally hear you! I joke all the time to my husband, shoulda moved across the border to Canada to have a baby. They get a full year!
Unfortunately we are at the mercy of our state and company. But at least we get something, it's better than nothing! :)
I had planned on only taking 6 weeks at first until DH and I sat down and talked it through. I have no future where I am and gas alone costs 300 a month without adding 700 a month minimum in daycare costs. I am going back to work with a part time job so that we do not need daycare. We might lose 100 a month this way, but the bills will still get paid. He works evenings so as long as I am home by 2 every day there is no problem. I will be able to take bout 10 weeks this way as long as everything works out the way we plan. A part time job will be like staying at home so it is the best of both worlds.
Well, I double jinxed myself with this post and another yesterday...
So, interesting development- my husband told me last night that the project that was delayed until 2012 is back on- they are going to do it this year despite the fact they were supposed to start mid/early Aug and now have to put it off until mid/late Sept. So, I won't be going back to work after 4-6 weeks because now he's not only going to be working up until Dec, he might be working well into Dec. And if the baby comes now (which, fortunately, if my 38 week appt yesterday was any indication, won't happen) 12 weeks wouldn't even be enough time! On top of that, since they are trying to squeeze a 4 month project into 2.5 months, husband is going to be working overtime like crazy. Now I don't think he'll take any time off beyond the hospital time. Lucky my mom is coming to help for a week.
So now I have a new dilemma. Even though my company is not required to follow FMLA's 12 weeks, they will allow it, so if I last at least until my due date, I could take 12 weeks and probably that would get us to husband being able to stay home. But I feel like a jackass now because I already told them I wouldn't be taking the 12 weeks (I figured I'd need 8-9 at the most), and honestly, the longer I'm out, the harder coming back will be. I don't mean as far as leaving baby, I mean taking time off at this office is pretty stressful because you will pay for it before, during, and after your leave. I took a week vacation earlier this year and came back to a total clusterfuck. I don't even want to imagine what would happen after 12 weeks.
Due to financial reasons I went back part time at 2.5 weeks and was full time by 4 weeks post partum. My husband was able to stay home with the baby but it was still very emotional for me.
Yeah I'm realizing that the laws in this country for maternity leave are just appalling. I had no idea about any of this and just assumed that a civilized nation like this would have a good system set up for women to be able to recover from child birth without having to worry about money and job security. But clearly I had too much faith in the system.
@bells: LOL. This country was founded by men and run by men up until recently. 60 years ago very few women worked outside of the home. The laws will not change overnight and someone needs to be a speaking voice. Eventually it will change, maybe when our grandchildren are having children...lol.
*gets down off her soapbox*
@bells: I know, it seems like such a basic thing doesn't it?! Take care of new mothers and they will go back to work happier, better rested, and ready to be productive. instead of spending all day at work depressed that they're away from their baby so soon.
@regberadaisy: 1 year?! Maybe I will move to Canada next! :)
From what I understand, I get 6 weeks paid (60% of pay based on the last 3 months of work) and can apply for short term disability (up to 3 months). I am also saving up vacation hours to start putting on my checks before I go on leave. Anything after 6 weeks is not paid, so I haven't decided if I will take 8, 9, or just a full 12. Probably less than 12 since I want to make sure my position goes back to me at my store, not another one.
I am not due until early March, so we will be getting tax returns (should be decent with the new house) that we will use to pay off a couple bills and put the rest in savings in case we need it during my leave. If we did our math correct, all of DH's wages will cover all but 1 car payment, so my paid leave/vacation/disability/our savings should make it okay.
huh. According to Wiki:
"Only four countries have no national law mandating paid time off for new parents: Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and the United States."
FMLA only protects your job for up to 12 weeks. There's nothing saying that they have to pay you. I could be wrong but you don't apply for it, it's just a policy in place that protects you from getting fired from taking 12 weeks off due to maternity leave.
@regberadaisy: You do have to apply for FMLA. If it is not in place then they do not have to guarantee your return.
have you thought about AFLAC?
My company honors 6 weeks, and its only 50% of your pay. We have AFLAC at our company which supplements the rest.
They offer different plans for what your needs are. I have the hospital indemnity plan (In case I ever have to go to the hospital for anything) and short term disability, which also covers maternity.
I pay about $40 a month for both together and its after taxes. So when I do get pregnant, my health insurance covers most, then AFLAC covers the rest. When I go into labor, my health insurance covers 50% and Aflac pays 30% more. They send you a check for however many days you were in the hospital and your baby gets one too.
Ive had many friends use this and say its the only reason they were able to survive. Might be something to think about.
I took 6 weeks maternity and an additional 2 weeks vacation for a total of 8 weeks. It was not enough time IMO. Wish I could have stayed home another month!
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It looks like the majority of women here who are planning on returning to work took 12 weeks- did anyone take less?
I am planning on taking 6-8 weeks as of right now. My company offers no paid leave, and actually isn't even eligible for FMLA since we are such a small office. However, I could take it if I wanted to, my boss is pretty nice. I have enough vacation and sick time for 4 weeks off. Anyways, if the baby comes at the end of Sept (due the 25th, but I have a feeling I will be late) I will have enough paid time off to last through Oct.
However, my husband's work schedule is up in the air. He's a pipelayer, and they do not work in the middle of winter, so he is laid off every Dec-March. However, this year, due to the government shutdown, a project was delayed until 2012 and he may be laid off as early as late Oct. So, he will be home, and assuming I am physically able to work in Nov, I could go back to work and leave baby with him (which we'd always planned, just not until Dec).
So, here comes the dilemma. My husband receives unemployment, but with two car payments and a mortgage, we couldn't live off of that for very long. I think the most I'd feel comfortable with is 2 weeks unpaid, for a total of 6 weeks. We have savings and my parents said they would give us money if we needed, but I'd rather not ask for money or burn through savings when I could be working. Also, my office is so small, and they really need me.
So then I was thinking, 6 weeks total, so be back at work early to mid Nov, depending on when the baby comes, since I will be working until I go into labor. But then I was thinking, maybe instead I'll go back in 4 weeks for half days for the next 4 weeks instead.
What did those who were not able to take the full 12 weeks do? How hard was it?