Post # 1
I gotta tell ya, Bees. I’m so sick of people telling me “oh my gosh why are you rushing?!” because our engagement will be 9 months (I can’t get married outside in freaking summer in Florida!) and telling my brother (who is also engaged) “oh my gosh why are you waiting so long?!” because his will be 18 months. When are we allowed to get married, people?! Shall I take a vote?
I just got another message from a friend telling me to slow down, that I am on SpeedAWedding.com and that I should wait at least a year and enjoy everything. That 9 months is too soon. Grrr.
I guess I’d better just change my date to June 2014. And when everyone is sitting outside getting rained on, sweating like Hulk Hogan eating hot wings, and being eaten alive by mosquitos I will smile and say “But I had to wait exactly a year! He proposed in June! More wine?”
Anyone else endure these unsolicited opinions on their choice of wedding date? I’m about to starting deleting people from the guest list.
Post # 3
HA i know just what you mean!! Mine was 7 months and I got a lot of comments about maybe I was pregnant. RUDE
Post # 4
yeah i know exactly what you mean! I’m right at the end of our 8 month engagement. Everyone had something to say!! But mostly I agreed with them bc it has been hell to plan a wedding this fast!
Post # 5
@Dayna_RA: You can’t please everyone, and everyone will always have an opinion. Don’t you love unsolicited advice? I got engaged after 3 months and everyone I know had something to say about it (to which I told them where to go). We got legally married very soon after that, but we still haven’t had an “official” ceremony. I am constantly asked when that will FINALLY happen, to which I say, when we feel like it.
I just don’t cater to folks who want to judge me. Only I know what’s best for my life.
Post # 6
@Dayna_RA: Kind of. We got engaged right after college, and everyone thought that our 23-month long engagement was such a great idea. I think they would have had more contrary opinions if we had announced that we were getting married sooner.
Post # 7
No one has really said anything to me, but I also don’t really talk about the wedding very much unless directly asked. Some people have asked the date, but there’s no comment on it just “I’ll mark it down” type responses. Don’t let it get to you. You know what’s right for your plans 🙂
Post # 8
Yep. Ours was 20 months – dh was also gone for 12 of those months. We got a lot of comments about how long it was. A lot of vendors didn’t really take us seriously at first because it was such a long engagement.
Post # 9
@Dayna_RA: The length of our engagement is 9 months but I’ve received nothing but positive comments and compliments for pulling off the planning in such an efficient amount of time. I’m in my 30s so perhaps the demographic is different. Most of the people I speak to are 35 and older so perhaps they are of the mind of “why wait?!” Do you think they are saying that because of your age?
My thing is, if you want to get married, you want to get married. It shouldn’t matter if it’s 18 hours after the proposal, 18 days or 18 months. So really, outside of dealing with logistics and finances, what’s the point of waiting?
Post # 10
@fingerscrossed: Funny thing is that while I agree that it would be less stress to plan it on a longer timeframe, on the flip side, we are getting ZERO financial help so saving every penny ourselves and my FI brought up a good point. He said “I don’t want to live like this for two years. The wedding is now our primary focus and we are on a super strict budget. We can’t go out to dinner, sit at happy hour, go on vacations, go to concerts, buy anything besides groceries and necessities, you can’t get manicures and pedicures, I cancelled the TiVos, we cancelled our gym memberships and stopped using our K-Cups… This is not something I want to do for two years.”
I suppose you can’t please everyone and sometimes it’s challenge enough to please yourselves 😉
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
We are getting married a year after the proposal..I mostly had people ask why I was waiting so long! You cannot win! Someone will always have an opinion on it. I just told everyone I wanted time to plan..conversely to OP I didn’t want a wedding in the middle of a Wisconsin winter. Too cold and unpredictable.
Post # 12
Yep it usually goes…”oh congratulations! When’s the wedding? Me: April…2015.
“Oh dear, why soooo long? Everyone has long engagements these days.” “I don’t think long engagements are are a good idea!”
We have to save for the wedding ourselves. I also don’t want people to judge us because I’ve been married before and my last wedding was quick and rushed. This engagement will be long and our marriage will be long too. This one is for life.
Post # 13
@TaurianDoll: I guess I should have specified in my original post, I am 31 and he is 42! Which makes it seem all the more silly that so many people have opinions. We dated for two years before he proposed, and we want to start a family (neither of us has any children). Now, I am not saying we are in a hurry to start a family, but I also cannot see the point of waiting 2 years. We are both established in our careers, financially stable, own a home… I would like to get married in 9 months and then be married for about a year before we start trying for a baby. I don’t feel my timeline is unreasonable but man do people have opnions. Then they tell my brother he is waiting too long.
Post # 14
@Dayna_RA: Same boat, friend. I’m 31 and he’s 33 and we DO want to start a family as soon as possible. Yeah, some people must carry around a secret handbook with rules of how long we ALL must do something in order for it to be socially acceptable. FI and I were together for 6 months before getting engaged so I feel your pain with the comments. We definitely received a few.
Post # 15
FI proposed Christmas Eve 2012 and we are getting married September 2014. I consider it a VERY long engagement. Alot longer than I had planned, but he’s in the process of a second location for his business and we also live in Kentucky and our wedding is in Michigan. Giving myself enough time was a good idea. If your engagement is 9 months, who cares?! In the end, you get to marry your best friend that much sooner! 🙂
Post # 16
@Dayna_RA: when we told his mom we were thinking of setting an early 2015 date, she said, “Why are you going to wait so long??” You can’t win 🙂