I am also an Older Encore Bride (over 50)
So it wasn’t a dealmaker by any stretch if Mr TTR didn’t ask… as in my mind he did not need to ask any one for “my hand” but me.
However, Mr TTR is a very decent guy… and as such it meant a lot to him to ask my Elderly Father for “His Blessing”
So after Mr TTR proposed, but before we found the ring, he got together with My Dad, and told him of “his intentions” and said he’d appreciate My Dad’s Blessing on our Getting Married.
My Dad was thrilled to give it
AND most importantly, My Dad was thrilled that Mr TTR had asked
Particularly so, as when I was Engaged / Married the first time in my early 20s my Ex never asked My Dad for any sort of “acknowledgement” of our Relationship
And I was a “modern woman” of the time… so didn’t see WHY anyone should ask anything of me
(That ongoing statement that many Brides-2B make… NO ONE need ask the Dad for anything, as I am not a possession !!)
I later found out many years from My Mom, that My Dad had been hurt that my Ex had never asked for their (My Father’s) Blessing…
As it was one of those “life moments” that My Father had been waiting his whole life for
And NOW as a Parent myself, I sooooo get that
Something I think more Brides / Couples should consider.
As a Parent there are Moment In Life that you cherish, look forward to in the ongoing story of your child…
Finding Out You Are Pregnant – Birth – Coming Home – First Smile – First Word – First Steps – First Day of School – Graduation – Off to College – Graduation – When they leave “the nest”
And definitely them coming home to tell you they’ve fallen in love and plan to marry…
Because you are a Parent FOREVER… so the story continues…
Engagement Announcement (Parent’s Blessing Before or After) – Wedding – And then when they one day tell you that the cycle of life will continue… as they now are expecting a baby (First Grandchild / Grandchildren)
For me now that is the key thing in this Question… To Ask or Not
It really and truly isn’t so much anymore that couples “Ask For Permission”… so much as it is that couples show some Respect to their Parents by asking for “A Blessing” of the Union / Marriage. Because technically, a Marriage is a coming together of TWO Families to create A NEW Family… so it is a really nice thing, when BOTH Families Parents are asked to “Bless” that creation **
So ya, Mr TTR asked My Elderly Father (there was no one on Mr TTR’s side to ask / tell, as both his Parents have long passed)… and My Father gave his Blessing… and he is truly proud to tell people that his Daughter (me) has married a fine upstanding man
And I couldn’t be PROUDER of BOTH the most important men in my life… and relationship that they have with me, and for themselves as well now.
That little action truly brought them closer together, and in many ways cemented the element that we are now a NEW Family Unit.
Hope this helps,
I VOTED – I WOULD REALLY LIKE IT, BUT NOT A MUST HAVE
** And hopefully, the kids that Mr TTR & I have (his & mine) will do the same for us too.