- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I don't think you asked too much of them. Just keep in mind some people just like to complain. It sounds like you enjoyed yourself and so did the others! Congrats on the wedding day!
Doesn't sound like too much to me - it's not like you demanded they help out! Don't worry about it!
Sounds like your wedding was beautiful! Don't worry about the complaining BM - as vintage2010 pointed out some people will complain no matter what. Also, who knows exactly what she said, since you didn't hear it directly from her. I don't think you were over the top with your requests at all.
<input id="gwProxy" type="hidden" /><input id="jsProxy" onclick="jsCall();" type="hidden" />
I think your requests were entirely reasonable, and if she didn't want to help or be a part of your wedding, she could have stepped down. Personally, I have been in several weddings and would have expected to do much much more than you requested!
Thank her again, let her know how much it meant to have her there, and that if she ever needs your support again, you will 100% be there for her! Then let the guilt go..
people love finding reasons to complain about other people, it's human nature. you're totally fine
I don't know the "had to help me" thing makes it sound like you expected it...I personally didn't believe in my BMs being expected to do anything besides show up and be there for me, but I know that differs for others.
People always complain. It just sucks that one of the people you consider to be most important in your life was complaining.
I don't think you asked too much, but I think that she obviously didn't mean for you to hear it if she didn't tell YOU! Don't worry about it, just enjoy being married!
If she felt you were asking too much, she could have said no, I'm not helping. She's complaining for the sake of complaining. Don't let it get you down!
If I agreed to be a bridesmaid, I would gladly do (almost) anything the bride asked. And from what you described, you were most definitely NOT being too demanding.
Thanks, girls! I didn't think I asked too much of them. I didn't force them to do it. I was asking and hoping for some girls to help me.
i don't think you asked too much of them at all, if anything they should be happy to help you!!
I dont think you asked too much - it wouldve been maybe a bit too much if you asked them to clean the entire venue but you just asked for help of cleaning your centerpieces. Not too demanding at all.
Congrats on the wedding! Glad to hear everything went well :)
I can go either way. On one hand since this BM had her BMs clean up the venue at the end of her reception, I'd say what you asked was not out of line. And if I was close enough to someone to be in her wedding, I would be pretty amicable about helping her out, particularly if giving my services helped her stretch her dollar to get that dream wedding.
In some circumstances, I think brides expect too much. I don't think brides should assume that they can use their BMs for slave labor. And I'd probably get really peeved if I was a BM and I knew the bride could afford to get things done professionally, but chose to skip to save money, by expecting the BMs to complete some of these "professional" tasks for free.
@ Tanya. That makes sense. I can see some of my bridesmaids thinking that I have money because of my job but in reality I don't have a lot of money because I'm paying a ton in school loans. Maybe she thought that way. My budget was 10K and we paid for 95% of the wedding on our own, so I had to stretch our dollar when it came to this wedding. (My total wedding expenses is at 14K)
I know the girl that is complaining spent about 10K on her wedding and was way less formal and had about half the people that I had. I spend 4K more but it was more formal then hers and had more guests. My sister says she's just jealous. She's a good friend of mine but I hope she wasn't jealous. I hope she understands that I had to work my butt off to keep my wedding expenses as low as I did.
Hmm, jealousy is so easy to bite when it comes to weddings. Maybe she was jealous. But still, if she asked Bms to work for her wedding, she shouldn't complain that one of them asked her to pitch in in return.
Sounds like it will die down though.
If it was my friend's wedding, I would do anything to make her day beautiful. Washed floors anything! If you care about someone, you go all out
I agree with Jaana19, I only expect my BMs to show up in the dress and be there for me, and help me with my dress as needed on the day of. If they want to help, that's wonderful, but if they don't want to (though good friends would want to help, right?), I wouldn't hold it against them.
I think it's all about the expectations going into this Bride-BM relationship.
My friends got married two years ago and although I wasn't a bridesmaid, my fiance was best man, so we all sat around a table and folded the programs together. I still remember how fun an activity it was to do together and it's one of my favourite memories of their wedding.
These things are what you make of them. If someone is a sour puss, she's going to complain irregardless. Ignore it!
Nope! Def didnt ask for too much...thats kind of what bridesmaids are there for...to help YOU out on your big day! So dont worries...and if you just heard from the grapevine there is a possibility that what she said was taken out of context or exaggerated...dont worry about it!
You weren't being unreasonable at all. I was the MOH at my best friend's wedding and when she asked what we'd like to do, I didn't even hesitate to say "whatever you need". I would have gladly have done anything she asked.
However, some people, when they get tired, say things that they don't mean. It's possible that someone just took her out of context too.
Traditionally, bridesmaids were asked and expected to help the bride with planning and any duties she needed help with. Your requests were reasonable so I wouldn';t worry about it. Some people simply aren't happy unless they are complaining about something but now you know the girl's true nature unfortunately.
i was a bridesmaid in my friend's backyard wedding a couple years ago and i helped set everything up and clean up the next day and went shopping with her almost every weekend the few months before to get what she needed and i loved every moment of it because she's my friend and i wanted to help her out.
i also helped another friend tie ribbons on her programs when all the bridesmaids came over for a sleepover two nights before the wedding. it was a blast. we had wine, gossiped and tied the bows!
it doesn't sound like you demanded anything, just asked if anyone could help and she had the option to say she couldn't and should have said that if it bothered her.
Just to be sure - that's really all they did? No shower or bach party or engagement party? Because that doesn't sound like enough to complain about. I complained when I was a bm for my friend who gave us absolutely NO information about the wedding or what we were supposed to do to help out and I showed up (after planning and executing her bach party and shower) the day before her wedding and a thousand half-finished DIY projects and a ton of errands awaited us. AND they were counting on me driving them everywhere and didn't mention that ahead of time either. That bothered me more than the work - not being told and having everything sprung on me like that.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| simpleandchic | 4 |
| janetsnakehole | 3 |
| j_jaye | 2 |
| MabelleBliss | 2 |
| mariaseychelles | 2 |
| ticatica | 1 |
| Kewii | 1 |
| mrsjjohnson2b | 1 |
| kat2014 | 1 |
| zomgwut | 1 |
Sorry, there are no users yet.
Ok, wedding was over the weekend but I'm hearing from my MOH that one of my BM were complaining that I was asking too much of her.
I had diy bridesmaids bouquets (that I assembled), they had to help me out with assembling place cards, folding of programs, and cleaning up my diy centerpieces at the end of the reception.
I admit that I had to plan the wedding out of state and I didn't ask them for anything besides helping out the week before the wedding.
Now, a little background, for her wedding a few months ago, it was way less formal then mine was. She was able to pay for a professional for her bouquets. She really didn't ask us for help besides the clean up of the entire reception site at the end. Her favors were done before we got there.
I kind of freaked out about a few days before the wedding because I asked them all that I had a few things that needed to help with and if anyone had any free time, it would be great. Only 3 out of my 8 bridesmaids offer to help. Luckily one of my other bridesmaids asked everyone if they were comng to help out and that got 5 of the 8 bridesmaids to come. But now I'm hearing that one of them was pissed because she had to do so much.
Wedding came out really well. I was on time going to the church. Everyone said it was one of the best weddings they went to. I thanked and hugged each one of my bridesmaids and told them how much I appreciated them helping me out.