Post # 1
I could really use some advice right now. I mentioned in a previous post how my FMIL was being quite demanding and insisting that we invite her random friends, that we have never even heard of, regardless of the fact that invites have already been sent and we’re trying to keep the guestlist as small as possible (as we are paying for it, not FMIL).
Well we finally caved and told her she could select one friend and they would be invited with their husband or guest. Well she calls us back today and tells us that she selected a friend and told that friend that they would be invited without their husband as we are “on a budget”. Umm so that statement made me really mad. Yes we are on a budget, but I also find it very important to avoid being rude to people, and as much as I don’t want this random couple at my wedding, I refuse to invite one half of a unit. Now she made us look bad and rude by suggesting that we won’t be inviting her husband because we’re cheap. Turns out FMIL only wants the woman to come without her husband so that she will have someone to hang out with and this way her friend won’t leave her alone to dance with her husband. I personally find this incredibly selfish on her part, and it’s like she’s just using her friend.
Anyways, I had my FI call her and for the first time in his life he stood up for what we agreed on. I just feel horrible because he felt physically ill over the thought of arguing with his mom, and she did put up quite a fight. Now he is worried she will be mad at him for a long time because he told her she could choose between inviting this friend with her husband or not inviting her at all.
So Bees, did I do the right thing? I’m worried that maybe I just put my FI in a really uncomfortable situation for something that wasn’t that important. To me, I just felt really strongly that this woman deserved the option of bringing her husband and felt that it was the right decision to stand up to FMIL. But maybe I was wrong? Please give me your opinions!
Post # 3
yuck, that’s an awful thing for her to do! no–i think you did the right thing! good for you and your FI for standing up to her 🙂
Post # 4
You did the right thing! For pete’s sake you and your FI are paying for your wedding you invite who you want. FMIL should be ashamed of herself acting like a child on this.
Post # 5
hahaha,woww! I’m sorry for laughing but that is just AMAZZING! She wants to invite her friends so you say ok to one and a guest and then she goes and insults her friend and makes you two look bad! That is crazzzy! Get the woman’s address and send the invite Mr and Mrs. It would be rude not to invite her husband.
Post # 6
Is your FMIL single? If so are you letting her bring a date? She didn’t handle this situation well AT ALL but she probably just wants a “date” (friend or otherwise) for the wedding and she thought by telling this friend she couldn’t bring her husband she’d have her date. Both my parents and my FI’s parents are divorced and my mom is the only one who isn’t remarried so we are letting her bring a guest, even though we aren’t letting other single guests bring dates.
Post # 7
Thanks!! My FI was sitting there pretty much terrified of how she would react and he kept looking at me like “is it really that important?” but I said to him that imagine how the husband would feel, if he found out his wife was invited to a wedding but he wasn’t. It’s rude and not fair to her or him. Even though we don’t know them, I just don’t want to do that. And literally Every single other person is invited witha guest.
I just think it’s insane that FMIL wants someone there just so she can have someone to talk to the whole night who won’t leave her side. That’s nice, and you are being allowed to have a friend there, but you can’t dictate that your friend isn’t allowed to have fun. This friend obviously won’t be sitting at the family table, so I think she’d be pretty miserable sitting at a table where she doesn’t know a single other person.
I’m just pretty ticked that I have to deal with this right now, it’s so stupid and not fair to my FI that he has to feel like he’s in the middle simply because she has rediculous requests 🙁
Post # 8
@blg529: Nope she’s not single. She’s bringing her common law husband with her. He doesn’t like to dance though so she said she needed someone else there. I don’t get it. She would be allowed to have her husband with her, but her friend isn’t deserving of the same? So rude 😛
And just to add a bit more info to the situation, both of my parents are divorced and neither are remarried or dating anyone. So neither of them have dates. My FMIL will have a date, yet she thinks she needs extra friends there in addition to her husband. My parents won’t have dancing partners so she should consider herself lucky that she does!