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I kind of compromised a little bit to get the venue we wanted... we are having an earlier ceremony so we can have a lunch reception instead of dinner. This way we can have the venue we want AND stay in budget.
In this instance, probably not if its going to be 12k over the budget. If it was less of a difference, maybe.
Fiance and I are not too big on having a lunch reception. We're having a Saturday evening wedding during the summer.
We went WAY over. It was 7K to rent the space for ceremony and reception (and it came with bar, chairs, tables, and it's at antique store... so it's fully decorated). We had originally planned to spend 3500-5000, tops, for the venue. It does not come with food or alcohol.
We decided to move numbers around and go flowerless, have an MC and not a DJ, and to do cupcakes instead of cakes. We figure that no one is going to remember decent food, but they will remember a completely unique and wonderful venue. We are estimating that we will be around 23K, so 3K above our original 20K budget. We're ok with that.
However, 12K is unreasonable. I'd go back to the first venue and see if you could bring in cool lighting or decor to spice it up. If it's got a great view, you could do something, like a candlelight dinner, to really play on the scenery.
I probably wouldn't...sticking to our budget is pretty important to us. If I go over budget in the venue area, that is money that would have to come from somewhere else. Also, I know for me, there were a million little things I just didn't know about and didn't know to budget for. If you're already going over budget on the venue, it may not leave you much wiggle room when other things pop up.
Meh, I wanna say no. We kinda did, though. I was hoping the church would be free, and it ended up costing $900. In the grand scheme of wedding world, that's nothing. But MIL ended up paying $200 of it, and we hadn't officially set the budget yet.
If it were only a couple thousand over when it's all said and done then yes I would, but 12k is a LOT over. If you have the money to do it and wouldn't drive yourselves into debt then do it I guess, but I can't imagine going that much over for a venue.
12k is a big difference. I would maybe spend up to 3 grand more for the perfect venue, but I would never spend 12 grand extra just for that. I would put that money towards other things.
Can you afford adding an extra $12k to your budget? That's a huge amount of money to add, and there's probably a reason it wasn't in your original budget.
That being said, I did splurge on my venue because I loved it, but it definitely wasn't a $12k splurge... Have you talked to your FI about it?
I think it really depends, what are you willing to give up for the venue? Can you juggle around other things? By the time you do this have you given up so much that the change isn't worth it? I think you need to really evaluate what is 'perfect' about this new venue vs. the other one. Are these things that anyone but you will notice? Is it a real difference or is it just that one is just slightly more your style? If you have heard great things about the less expensive place it sounds like it is a place where people have had a fantastic time and likely your guests will have a fantastic time there as well, which is the most important thing. If it is just small differences in appearance then is it really worth going into debt to the tune of 12K? That takes longer to pay off than you think.
Not for a $12k difference. No way. Maybe if we were talking $3-4k but not 12.
@abbie017: In order to afford it, we would have to pull from our previous savings, which I originally was not planning on touching. FI loves the venue but he doesn't think it would be worth it, but would be OK if I decided to splurge since this will only happen once in our lives.
@kn8973: I wouldn't. Money disagreements is such a big problem in so many marriages. That money might be needed for something more important one day (baby, injury or illness, job loss). If FI isn't 100% in agreement with you, then this could easy become a problem in the future.
It really wouldn't be worth it to me.
I'd say no. 2K-3K is one thing, but 12K, especially 12K that is pulled from savings or puts one in debt, is a no in my book. I'd splurge and spend an extra 1K-2K on uplighting, fancier decor, whatever, at the cheaper venue and enjoy the savings.
We went over budget on the venue which as we justified, included food, alcohol, lighting, and a coordinator. We THOUGHT we would cut back in all the other areas to make it work, buuuuuuuuut of course we didn't. In the end we were about 40% over budget, but that's not a shocker since our venue was 40% over our budget set for the venue and it just snowballed from there.
However, I have to say that we were fortunate enough to be able to afford our wedding without going into debt. I don't think a wedding is worth going into debt over.
I don't know. 12k is ALOT over budget. I think I would only do it if it wouldn't make you go into unmanageable debt. Talk to your parents and see if/what they are willing to contribute. Then look at your budget for the rest of the wedding and see if you can cut anything there and put it towards the venue cost. If, between those 2 things, you can make it so you only go a little bit over budget and you really love the 2nd venue more, then I would go for it. Otherwise, I'd stick with the first venue.
I voted no because you can't afford the extra $12k without going into debt or reaching into savings that are earmarked for other goals. Also, like a PP said, other unexpected expenses will crop up as you move forward with planning, so the total overage will likely be even more than $12k.
I voted yes, because we did go over budget on our venue. We were over by $3K, but we could afford it without going into debt or drawing from savings.
I agree with a lot of PPs - It's ill-advised to have to go into debt or be worse off financially over a wedding. Try to think long term on this one: If you went with the venue in your budget, would you regret it in years to come? My guess, probably not. But that's a decision you and FI need to make.
We technically went over budget, although we actually set up our budget after we determined the reception site! We set a really low dream budget though and then a more realistic budget (which we can still afford with debt or anything), and we're falling in between the two, so it's okay. But, I definitely didn't like or we wouldn't fit in the places that were priced more at what we thought we were looking for.
@kn8973: How fast would you be able to pay the debt off? If you think you can pay it off in a couple of months, then I say absolutely go for it. However if it's going to be a situation where you put it on credit and it takes you a year or more to pay it off, all the while accuring interest fees, then I don't think it would be worth it. I think dipping a little into the life savings is fine - a wedding a once in a lifetime, very special event. :)
No, because of what you said- "We would probably be in debt afterwards or have to pull funds from our life savings (which I did not plan on touching)." Do you really want to start your marriage in debt?. If it was $2K, that you could replenish more easily, that would be one thing, but that $12K could go a long way towards a the down payment on a house, or a new car, or if one of you loses a job (speaking from personal experience since I'm unemployed right now- having a savings cushion is a huge relief.)
Dont start your future in debt, its not worth it for one day! You can have an amazing wedding with out going into debt.
I know people always say dont count on the gifts or invite people to your wedding expecting gifts, but I have to spin it this way too. If you were able to invite more people, is it standard in your circle or culture to give cash gifts with which you might be able to recoup some of that. If yes, then MAAAAAYBE if you just really had to have it. However, since you did say you would probably go into debt for it and cant actually afford it. I voted no. Personally, I wouldn't go into debt for just about anything except education and a home if at all possible so there's no way in hell I'd do it for a wedding.
@AshleyR83: If we dipped into your savings it would be no more than $5k. Our original $20k budget was a minumum but we were willing to spend $25k. However, the service fees & taxes are what killed it for us!
I appreciate all of your feedback. I know I said we'd go into debt, but that would be paid off in a few months and it definately would NOT be $12k worth of debt lol! I know my statement was misunderstanding and a lot interpreted that we'd be going into debt the full difference but if we were to go into debt of $12k that would be a huge no. If anything, it would be a couple of thousand--but more than likely we'd just pull funds from our savings.
Personally, I wouldn't splurge for a $12k difference. We splurged by about $1k, but $12k is HUGE.
Could you negotiate with this venue? I have friends who got their food/beverage minimum lowered, cake cutting fee waved, and other "service charges" lowered or dropped through negotiations. IMO, $25,500 is SO MUCH for food/beverage. Yikes.
That is also something I forgot to mention! Thanks for bringing it up! I'm vietnamese, and in our culture, we give cash as gifts. That being said, I'm marrying a hispanic, and they do not give cash as gifts so really only about half of our guests would bring cash lol.
@Ms Bookworm: I definately tried! Their original asking minumum was $35k (yikes!)! But because we're having our wedding during the summer, they dropped it to $30k, and then gave a 15% discount, bringing it down to $25,500. I haven't tried negotiating on service charges.. but I just figured they are pretty firm on service charges in their industry. They do not charge cake cutting fee, and the cake is also included in the minumum spent.
I wouldn't do it - especially if it put you in debt or had to reach into savings you don't want touch. If it were 1-3K over your 20K budget then it wouldn't be a big deal, but 12K is just way to much and I don't think it's worth it. And while I know you want to splurge on this once in a life time thing, IMO, it's not the responsible thing to do.
You're first venue sounds lovely though!
12K is WAY too much over budget. A couple thousand you can justify, but 12K is crazy. There will always be something better and more expensive out there ... just stick to the best thing you can get in the ballpark of your original budget.
No, in fact, after I saw the total estimated bill for our wedding in our hometown, I panicked, and we moved it DW because it's so much cheaper. LOL
We were in a very similar situation to you... there was a venue we LOVED but would have put us over budget.... and a venue we liked that would POSSIBLY allow us to be under budget. We ended up choosing the more reasonable venue despite seriously considering the more expensive venue.
And now.. I'm SO happy we chose the reasonable venue. I love it and haven't even thought about the other one in a long time. Also, it has left room in our budget for a lot of extras that I am really glad I will be able to have now.
Good luck!
I read all of your subsequent posts on this thread (you are willing to increase your budget $5K, you can take $5K from savings to reduce amount you need to borrow, you will likely get cash gifts from half of guests...) and it sounds like you are trying to justify why it wouldn't be the worst thing to spend the extra $$ on this venue. You're thinking with your heart right now, which is completely understandable when planning your wedding, but try to step back and think with your head. The people here giving you advise are completly distanced from the emotions of your wedding, and I think you need to approach this situation with the same mentality. What would you tell a stranger to do in this situation?
I would say no. I agree with PP that $12k is way more, but were you realistic when you set your original budget. I've seen on this board a lot of women that wanted a $10k or less wedding and just wasn't realistic to their area or what they wanted.
Right now I'm grappling with myself about $125 to have my pictures taken at a place I really wanted to use... I can't imagine contemplating a $12k cost
Our perfect venue was $50,000, so we said no to it. The second perfect venue was $10,000, and we almost said yes. Then we found THE venue that was all enclusive and had the best food, and an amazing open bar package. It's still beautiful, but not perfect. It's $2,500 plus food and beverages. With the money we're saving we're going to have peonies everywhere. It worked out for us to go a little less than perfect.
I wouldn't put myself in debt for the "perfect" venue. If you could afford it but just didn't originally want to spend that much that's another thing, but if you litterally can't afford it, it is not worth it. We're paying way more (about $2000 more) than we wanted to for our venue but we aren't having to rack up a credit card bill or empty our bank accounts.
Maybe a $100 or two, but nothing significant. Part of what would make the "perfect venue" for me would be a low price.
Dont think I could spend 12k above my budget...yikes. Your 43rd floor venue sounds great and you must like something about it :-) if it was a couple thousand over I'd say go for it. What will you remember afterwards...? The venue or the other components. Just something you have to think about :-)
We DID go over budget for our venue, but luckily, we got to choose a caterer from a lengthy list, as well as rentals, floral, audio, alcohol, etc. It helped that we could bring costs down in other places to be able to get married in the modern art museum I grew up going to with my family who worked there!
Our perfect venue is going to cost us 4000 more that a traditional space ... and to me that seems reasonable for that special day..but I wouldnt spend more than that for only a few hours out of your lives....12k can do so much more---perhaps take you both on a nice vacation on your anniversary for the next 5 years...
put things into perspective... I made sense by saying that 3000 is money that you easily blow on stupid crap throughout the year...new electronics.....going out every weekend...etc...... so we are cutting back on those things for a year to make up the extra cash for our venue... if you can give up your morning coffee, bring you lunch to work everyday and skip your hair appts and weekly mani/pedis...than go for it...but I honestly see that much extra as a waste.
good luck with whatever you decide....but remember decorations can make any place spectacular
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I am just curious, did or would any bees go over your expected budget to have the dream reception venue?!
My fiance and I are paying for your wedding ourselves and we budgeted $20k for 200 guests for our venue space, food & beverage. We found a venue which we are both OK with and has an amazing view since it's on the 43rd floor-- we liked the venue, but did not love it; however I did love the view! They are not too highly priced compared to some venues we've looked at and fall below our budget. I have also heard very good things about them. BUT I just recently found another venue (a hotel)--Hotel Zaza, that we fell in love with! It is absolutely beautiful and everything we could ask for in a venue! Unfortunately, they did not fall within our budget. They are asking for a minumum of $25,500 in food/beverage. After service charges & tax it would come close to $32,500, but we would be able to invite more guests. My question is-- would you guys splurge to have the perfect venue? Would it be worth the extra $$$ to have your dream venue? We would probably be in debt afterwards or have to pull funds from our life savings (which I did not plan on touching), and our parents have not promised to help us (but I do think they'll end up helping us with some). I would love to hear your thoughts! Thanks bees!