Post # 1
Basically, I’m weighing the pros and cons of having children with my SO. I hear a lot of horror stories about how people have amazing sex lives but then suddenly….nothing. Maybe once a month.
Is this just a case of the fact that people that complain are the most often heard? I understand that babies are exhausting and that sex will go down for a time; that doesn’t bother me.
What bothers me more is the idea that I currently find sex 1-2x a day to be ideal and that my hormones could pull a complete 180 on me. Though, I’ve never had any type of imbalances on the Pill and I’m not prone to depression.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.
Post # 2
I think the sheer exhaustion that comes with caring for a newborn kills your sex drive for a time. Plus, I breastfed. I was all touched out by the end of the day. Also, it took a long time for me to heal. Anyway, I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything.
Post # 3
princesslettuce14: 1-2 TIMES A DAY??? Wow! Good for you! I don’t have kids, and I’m already too tired for that!
Post # 4
i don’t have kids yet but I can tell you my hormones have changed a lot with age. In my early 20s I’d be down to have sex once a day but now at 30, I’m happy with 2x a week! I’m just too tired and don’t care enough!
Post # 5
Well I haven’t had the baby yet but I think it is to be expected that things might be different while you are pregnant and with a newborn. I have had no interest in sex since I got pregnant, but I’m completely fine with that. We did continue fairly regularly until sometime around mid-pregnancy but after that it dropped off. But I was about a 1-2x a week person.
I think after that it is what you make of it. But I would consider that things like age and hormones will change as you get older anyway, so your sex drive is probably going to end up changing at some point regardless of what you do.
Post # 6
princesslettuce14: Wow, if I have sex more than every other day I end up with a UTI, I guess you’re just lucky! I think if you want kids enough the sex thing won’t be a priority to worry about…hormones affect everything yes, but eventually they all level out and eentually the baby does sleep:)
Post # 7
Carmela: Don’t want to get too TMI but do you pee after having sex? That’s supposed to prevent UTIs.
BurlapnLace: Yeah it works for us. I asked because I feel like I hear how sex drops off after baby (understandably) but it’s hard for me to truly guage it as I don’t know where people’s drives were before baby.
Post # 8
Pregnancy didn’t have much of an effect on my sex drive, I still wanted it and we still had it. Breastfeeding has had an effect on my sex drive though. It’s hard because it makes you pretty dry (TMI), and sometimes you just don’t want anyone to touch you anymore. It’s a natural thing that will go away. It’s basically your body telling itself that you have a baby who needs you, and you don’t need to be making another one! We still have sex about 2-3x/week.
I could never imagine sex 1-2x/day, baby or not!
Post # 9
I’ll echo PPs who say that just having a newborn and then also breastfeeding have really messed with my estrogen levels–although I had a lower sex drive to begin with. My son is 16 months, and I’m definitely still not back to normal. I think most of it is the breastfeeding, though, and hopefully things will return to normal when I’m no longer BF’ing (although then I’m hoping we’ll be pregnant, so…)
Post # 10
Breastfeeding killed my sex drive for the 14 months I did it. That being said, I still DTD with DH at least a couple times a week to ensure things didn’t go to hell. The first couple months of having a baby was exhausting, yes, but you also aren’t supposed to DTD for 6-8 weeks PP, so it wasn’t an issue.
Afterwards, my sexdrive was much higher than pre-baby.
Honestly the only thing that really kills my sex drive is working full time and being pregnant AND being mama to a toddler. Poor DH is only getting it once a week if he’s lucky, and it makes me feel really bad 🙁
Post # 11
princesslettuce14: I think it is what you make of it. I obviously had no desire to have sex for several weeks post birth of our baby. I was healing and even after I got the OK from the dr I still waited another few weeks. I think we did it for the first time 8 weeks post partum. It hurt. A lot. I didn’t want to keep going but I figured if I just got it over with it would get better. My husband was super patient and we went slow and it was fine. After a couple times of pianful sex right after baby it was back to normal. We were 5-6 times a week people before our daughter and now we do it almost everyday again. It 100% back to normal for us.
Post # 12
princesslettuce14: Thanks…Yes I know, and I do that everytime before and after:( Up unitl about a month ago I drank 8 oz of unsweetned not from concetrate crnaberry juice right after everytime also (which is awful, but the most potent you can get). Including showers before and after! I think I’m just gonna have to go back to driinking the cranberry, and like I said, I think I can only handle it every other day. UTIs are awful, and I’d pretty much do anything not to get one again!!
Post # 13
I don’t plan to have children, and I’m with ya on the 1-2 times a day. I’m be pretty devasted to experience a drop in libido! But, for those who want children…I’m sure it’s obviously not a detriment that they would trade their lovely children for!! But, not for me. Sounds like you have a healthy sex drive though, so I’m sure if you decide children are right for you (which you should decide for other reasons besides sex probably)….I’m sure your libido can survive it. I hear the best way to WANT sex is to have it often to increase libido. The longer you go without it, the less you want it…for women AND men, believe it or not. After about 3 weeks of being CRAZY for it….kinda works outa your system until you have it again! So, keep up the 1-2 times a day and hope for the best ;]?
Post # 14
SamEatsBrains: LOL yes, sex isn’t the only reason to not have kids. We’re really analytical so we’re weighing our options. Adoption is also a maybe if we decide pregnancy and giving birth isn’t worth it.
My mom is trying to convince me that since “she had 4 kids in 5 years and didn’t go a week without sex” that I have nothing to worry about. But she had c-sections and I doubt she’s normal.
Post # 15
Personally, my sex drive is very high – always has been. After my DD1 was born in 09 I had loads of stitches but couldn’t wait to get back to it and only waited 4 weeks still with stitches left!! My DS born in 2012, I waited 3 weeks again still with stitches! Then DD2 born in 2013 no stitches this time I waited 1 week before pouncing on him like a sex deprived devil!! It killed me waiting 2 days after having my coil fitted to get back to it! I’m never to tired or ill for a good ol’ thrumping!!