(Closed) Did the unthinkable…..confession

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

It wouldn’t be a wedding if there wasn’t some sort of drama.  Sorry she’s not being totally truthful, it’s a rough situation.  Atleast you get to see her true colors. 

Post # 4
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

It is sad that had to happen but as we all know, sh*t happens and we got to deal. I was on the verge of asking one of my BMs to step down as she has been almost impossible to get ahold of and has not contributed in any way to this wedding. Of course she was not even pregnant when I asked her to be a BM and now she has a 4 month old baby so I understand she is busy, but the lack of communication was the big thing.

 

Sounds like you made the right call. As my Mom would often say – this too shall pass.

Post # 5
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

that is super unfortunate.  but all you can do it put it behind you and focus on the wedding.  

Post # 6
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m asking one of my BM’s to step down, as soon as I get the courage too. Same reasons…. comments, inactivity, financial, she lives out of state and has an oh well, at least I just have to show up attitude. My wedding is pretty DIY, so I need involved BM’s. She’s been my best friend for 19 years, but this is a very important day in my life, and I need supportive people to be involved. And so do you. 

Post # 7
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

While I know it was a difficult decision for you, just remember it’s your wedding and you shouldn’t have to put up with all the drama.  You did everything you could have…you gave it time to get better and it didn’t, what more could you have done?

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We are having the same problem with one of the BMs in my friends wedding.  She didn’t help with the shower didn’t call to say she wasn’t coming didn’t send any money to help either.  Then she hasn’t gotten her dress. She has till August 1st to order it or it won’t be here in time.  So if she doesn’t do the dress in time I think the bride will have to ask her to step down.  But she is having a hard time asking her to do that.  They’ve been friends since middle school.  Sorry you had to go through that.  Sorry any of us do!

Post # 11
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

In my case, I think it’s a few things – it’s just how she is, to do things her way no matter what (like when she told me that she’ll pick out her own dress and if she looks different from everyone else then so be it (gah)! And I know that she’s like that – I guess I just thought that she’d, for once, put someone else’s wishes above her own. I know that she’s financially strapped, more so than I am currently. And I know that she’s a little jealous, I guess, because when I told her I was engaged the first words out of her mouth where, “of course you are. Layla ALWAYS has a boyfriend.” What?!?! 

Post # 12
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

It is hard to get people to care and to just be supportive. The bottom line is people are who they are and you can’t change that, you can only affect how it effects or changes you.

I don’t envy anyone in this situation. I couldn’t imagine having to have that conversation.

Post # 13
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Wow, I am sure that’s so hard, that’s the reason I decided not to ask my best friend–I love her, but she would act the same way. You don’t deserve the stress, so just know that your wedding will be about you. I wish I had better advice to give!! Hive hugs!

Post # 14
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry. I’m glad you made the decision though because keeping her in the wedding party would have brought you so much MORE stress. For me, it’s my sister. She was upset that I didn’t make her my MOH or anyone for that matter, we are just having BMs and GMs, and she wasn’t happy with it and said she wouldn’t be in the wedding party at all. Oh well. I wish we were closer but we aren’t.

Sometimes I think people you think are close friends or even family—when a wedding comes around you really see the problems and although it hurts it does help you weed out the ones who are just not worth the trouble.

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I also had drama with a bm and asked her to step down! We worked it out in the end. It sucks to for the situation to come to that but it happens! Your not a bitch for doing it and it is inevitable for drama from her and stories for her family to start because of it. The girl sounds like she is all about poor her anyway. Just take the high road and move forward, the people that matter know the truth and know that you tried to work it out with her and it just could not be worked out.  During this time in your life you have to do what is best for you period. 

Post # 16
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Everyone asked me why I kept my wedding party small (I just had my sister act as maid of honor)- this is why.  My friends are all still in college, on budgets, with their own stresses/households to run.  I didn’t feel right asked them to purchase dresses and attend events that would cost them $.  It kept that aspect of the wedding fairly stress free (my sister can be terrible, she was enough drama to deal with 🙂

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