Been there done that… which is WHY I am doing everything in my power this time to “skip the Drama / Trauma”
First time round…
My Parents and I didn’t agree on much, lets just say I wasn’t having a good time for the most part (I avoided most conflicts by just giving in… Hey I was a young 23, and they were footing the bill… which they liked to tell me over and over again… What is that old saying “He with ALL the Bucks, calls the shots”)
So THEIR Church – THEIR Mass – THEIR version of the Invites (this was my biggest defeat) – THEIR vetting the Guest List – THEIR Photographer – THEIR Caterer – THEIR Wedding Cake
I found the best way to cope with the disappointments was just to focus on the aspects that I did LOVE… and things that did get past the “check point”…
MY Dress – MY Bridal Party (I vetoed the cousins as Jr Bridesmaids) – MY Bridal Party Wear (it was formal, guys wore Grey Morning Dress) – MY Flowers – MY Menu – MY Cocktail Party – MY Hand Chosen Wines with Dinner – MY Champagne Toast – MY DJ & Music – MY Trousseau & Going Away Outfit – MY Honeymoon – and of course MY GROOM ♥
Lol there was sooo much conflict in the Wedding Planning, that I remember at one point in time, my Mother threatened not to come (think she changed her mind in the last 10 days leading up to). And of course more than once they said they’d pull out the funding … sure no sweat off their backs… knowing full well that they were holding the Reception over my head (and they only had put down a deposit, whereby Hubby-2-B & I had to pre-pay so many of the items on our list)
This time round…
I vowed right from the get go, to make my Wedding very different from my first.
So although I was very touched when Mr TTR asked my Dad for his Blessing of our Marriage, I was quick to spout out a strong “NO” when he asked where they should stay in the Myrtle Beach area for the event….
Sorry Dad, but this is an Elopement… just the 2 of us !!
What has changed, is that since I’ve discovered WBee, I’ve found that my being a Encore Bride isn’t a bad thing… society has changed oodles since I was married the first time. Once upon a time, Encore Brides (especially those “of a certain age”) were destined to have quiet affairs held in a suit and a quick ceremony / sign-off at the Courthouse. I knew right off this wasn’t for me, so I began GOOGLING on the Internet to see what other “acceptable” options might be out there.
That is how I found WBee. And am I glad I did, because now I get to embrace my “Inner Bride” as second weddings no longer have to be a hush-hush affair (finding LOVE a second time around is actually celebrated as a good thing). AMEN
So although we are having an Elopement to a Destination Wedding (just the 2 of us saying our Vows on the Beach), I also get to incorporate some of the things I LOVED so much from my first marriage.
A SPECTACULAR Dress (and I’ve found a compromise between big pouffy white and the restrained MOB look) – GIRLIE Accessories & Shoes – PRETTY Hair & Make-up – a MEANINGFUL Bouquet – EMOTIONAL Vows – a BLESSED Exchange of Rings etc – PLAYFUL Pictures – a CHAMPAGNE Toast – an INTIMATE Dinner – a GORGEOUS Wedding Night Suite – and a DOUBLELY AWESOME GROOM ♥ ♥
Not to mention a Back Home Reception that will include… TONS of Friends & Family – SWEET Invites – OFF BEAT Décor – TRENDY Cocktail Party & Nibbles – YUMMY Champagne & Cake – FUN activities and favours – and some MEANINGFUL MEMORIES for us
PLUS a Honeymoon that I can only dream about… spending time with Mr TTR doing incredible things we love in both familiar places and some new ones (US South Road-Trip and a Caribbean Cruise).
Definitely THIS WEDDING is all about US… not bogged down with my having to deal with other people’s issues.
Other than the workload to make it all come together, there is little to no stress so far… and I don’t imagine there will be much in the months to come. YIPPEE !!
Honestly, I’m getting to see the ADVANTAGES of being an Older Bride far outweigh those of being a younger gal… IF a Bride can swing it, I’d say… skip the Family Drama, and organize a wedding away… I think even a Destination Wedding would eliminate some of the stresses. Then come back home to hold a Reception you want as you want it… as it does seem to me that 99% of the issues that come up surrounding a Wedding have to do with the Reception. If it is truly a Post-Wedding Celebration (ie at another time & day) then some of that stuff dissipates naturally.
Last time my Reception had all the family drama issues… TOO Many of my Parents Friends… and not enough of ours. The concerns with alcohol (*Rolls Eyes*), Who was sitting where… etc. Not to mention the folks who just invited themselves as Plus Ones (*Rolls Eyes* again)
My Wedding Reception was most definitely the one my Parents didn’t have when they got married 30 years earlier !!
This time round, Mr TTR and I have chosen to do a very casual get-together / party. Cocktails & Nibbles, Champagne Toast & Cake, DJ & Dancing, some fun activities and give-aways, and a little humour thrown into the mix. And I LOVE the fact that the Guest List will be EXACTLY who we want it to be. We have total control in that regard… should be an amazing party !!
In the end I get the Intimate Wedding that focuses just on US (what a Wedding IMO should be), and a Reception that will be all about our FRIENDS & FAMILY… and a true Celebration… (what a Reception IMO should be)
Hope this helps someone… who is just at the beginning stages of the Wedding process,