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My best friend and I started trying around the same time, so we told each other just to have SOMEONE to talk with :) But both couples have kept it quiet from the rest of our families. I finally broke down and explained the basics to my mom after close to a year of no luck, but when it's taking awhile, it's really nice to not have everyone waiting for a big announcement or asking questions. I'm super close to my family otherwise, but for me, and for this, it felt right to keep as much as possible between the hubs and I.
I think it's awkward telling people you're going to be having lots of sex in the next few months. We didn't tell anyone because we felt our sex life is not public news.
My family, and come co-workers know that we are TTC. I don't feel awkward about it at all that people know, and those who do have been nothing but supportive that it hasn't happened for us yet.
No, I don't make it a habit to broadcast my sex life lol. I feel like that just opens the floodgates for inappropriate questions, lectures on different positions to try and phone calls about cervical mucus. Noooooo thank you.
I'm super close with my MIL and we talk about EVERYTHING. So I think it would be hard for me to not tell her we will be trying soon...my mom, though? I would probably make an effort to not tell her since we're not that close.
I wouldn't tell everyone, but I can think of a couple close people to us that might be supportive. Any other opinions on spilling or keeping quiet?
We didnt tell anyone, My SIL and her husband have had some trouble TTC and i remember how difficult it was when people would ask them have you been succesfull yet? So just in case it took us a long time i didnt want questions reminding us.
When were ready to start trying, we told everyone so that I wouldn't have to tell everyone over and over why I quit smoking and drinking. And it actually worked out really well that way, because when I did get pregnant we kept it a secret until we were ready and no one wondered why I wasn't drinking anymore.
@Bostonsmom: I don't smoke, but I do drink with my IL's when we visit them. That alone would be a good reason to say. lol.
I've told a couple of really close friends (my MOH and another recently married friend from work) but otherwise we're keeping it under wraps.
We're not really "trying" that hard (so to speak) but I don't think we'll tell anymore people because we just don't need the pressure. I guess if we don't conceive within six months or so then we might start talking to our parents about it.
I just told my 2 really close friends because they knew I had been waiting to start TTC and I wanted to share.
I'd probably tell my mum, but that'd be it. I don't even think my bffs would be that interested, since none are at the married/baby stage yet.
I told my best friend because I was dying to tell someone. She asked me every time I saw her if I was pregnant yet. Next time, I'm keeping it quiet.
I don't think it is information that should be shared. Unfortunately my husband made it clear prior to our wedding that we wanted a family so now I feel like everyone is waiting on an announcment that I am pregnant. It sucks as the reality is we are still preventing and I am also having some issues so now it looks like there may be some stumbling blocks to getting pregnant. It truly is awful as every time people see me I see them studying my tummy or what I am eating. The pressure is probably making that much worse for us.
We didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to feel the pressure of having them know in case it took longer then we wanted or we couldn't get pregnant at all. I just didn't want to have to hear the "are you pregnant yet?" question.
We will not be telling anyone. I know my MIL would spill the beans to anyone and everyone and I wouldnt want that. I also think its weird to announce you are trying because you are essentially just announcing that you are having lots of unprotected sex and that your husband is cumming inside of your every time.....ew.
I had two people who weren't very close to me tell me that they were TTC. One a co-worker and one a girl on my softball team. It's been close to a year and neither of them are pregnant. Everytime I see them, I feel kinda bad, and I know they probably regret telling me. So I think when it's DH and my time, I'm going to keep quiet.
I think everyone's situation is different (tried before, miscarried, nosy family, etc etc) so it depends on your personal situation. No right or wrong.
Personally for us we've been together for ten years so even before engagement both sides were already asking us when kids were coming. And we're fine with the questions because WE want kids.
When we decided to move up conception plans it was a bit of good news during a dark time in our family. So we felt that it would cheer up my ILs to know we were moving up our conception plans, so we told them. And we would have told them regardless anyway.
Definitely told my mom, because well she's my mom!I have not directly told my brothers yet and not sure if my mom has or not. Either which way it's no biggie and it'll probably come up when we're back home in a couple weeks.
We also told our two closest friends whom were our MOH and GM. We see them all the time and I know they will and have been nothing but supportive.
ETA: Those are it though. Not gonna tell random co-workers or other friends. Mostly because they're not close enough to be privy and I think they will be annoying!
The first time, no. But after the miscarriage last year, now everyone knows since they obviously figure we'll be trying again to have a baby. Plus, many of them know about the fertility issues we are having. So quite a lot of people know we are ttc now. Not sure I like it so much, but on the other hand we have loads of support after going through so much.
You just don't know if it's going to work, or how long it'll take to work. I'd rather not have anyone else's questions etc to deal with.
I said vague stuff - like after the wedding when people asked I'd say 'oh I donno, we both want kids but want a little time to be married first - maybe in like a year or two'. Or when it got closer to that time and people asked again said 'well sometime but just need to figure out job situations first' to make sure there was no set timeline or anything in people's heads.
I'm on some pretty strong and potentially fetus damaging meds to control my psoriasis. they are maintence meds that at this point i have to take for my lifetime. When hubs and i decide its time, things have to be very planned out as I have to come off my meds for 3 months before we can start TTC. I'm sure that I will struggle with the side effects coming off my meds and returning symptoms of psoriasis and that I will need a support system of our parents and close friends.
Most my friends are P right now...it is a hot topic of discussion. A few close friends know that we are, and my sister (because she has two babies and again its always a topic of discussion). But agree that I hate the word "trying" and all the mental pictures that come along with it. I only told those who I am really open with anyways.
We knew we were going to have problems TTC and I really wanted the support of our family and friends. I am very open about our struggles because I want people to realize that infertility is a disease. When someone has trouble getting pregnant it is usually due to some underlying medical problem.
I had all my family asking before we were married when we are going to have kids (everyone we know has kids already) and we have been together for 8 years... We are currently TTC and we didnt tell anyone! i actually told his sister on new years thru a drunk text LOL she has 3 kids... but she doesn't bug i just told her we have been secretly trying i know she wont say anything she just gave her brother some pointers LOL because obviously all of hers were planned if not planned weren't prevented.
@sweetkate: Ditto and very well said.
It is a personal choice for some and personally I do not feel it is awkard in anyway. Being married people are going to assume you are having sex anyways and honestly the frequency doesn't really change that much. I didn't intend on sharing the news but DH told his parents bc we had a feeling we would have difficulty and now that we have had extreme difficulty, the love and support from those close friends and family members have been very helpful. Maybe its only people I know but no one has ever asked me in the year we've been trying the annoying questions or studied my stomach. Plus its not like we are annoucing every month "hey I am ovulating! So we will be busy the next few days!" Umm no. Just wanted to point out that it is not that awful or awkard to share the news with people that are closest to you.
Like @sweetkate: and @MissGreen:, we have had trouble conceiving. I told my mom because she and I are super close, plus she's a nurse. I also shared it with my closest friends. It's been a difficult thing to go through, and it has been so nice to have people who support me and make me feel better when I got some crappy test results or something like that.
Almost all of my close friends have kids, so it wouldn't be anything new for them. If we decide to tell, it wouldn't be very many people, I don't think.
It is interesting to see such a varing response from everyone. = )
We have been open that we most likely will start to TTC this year with some friends and family, but have told no one our time frame. We have been married a little while and both in our early 30's. It isn't a suprise to anyone that we would be thinking about kids. However, I didn't want to make a huge deal about "starting to try this summer", so I didn't feel pressure from anyone, including myself.
I did tell my mom and only my mom. We are very close and this will be her first grandchild. Also, I know that she can keep secrets amd won't tell anyone even my dad (who cannot keep secrets). I've given her the update after each of my doctors appointments, since I'm high risk my pregnancy really has to be planned, and she is very excited and it's nice to have someone to talk to. But I really wouldn't want anyone else to know because it could take some time and I don't want people constantly asking me.
At first I wanted to not tell anyone, but I knew I wouldn't do too well. So far I've told my co-worker who I'm pretty close to (and she's pregnant), my best friend, my sister, and some random girl I went out with the other night (she asked point blank, and I felt weird lying...plus, I hardly know her so I didn't feel like it would be a big deal). Haven't told my or DH's parents, although his parents seem to have figured it out.
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DH and I aren't quite there, but we know we are going to start trying in about a year. Did you tell your family you were going to start trying? Or did you keep it a secret? I have been tempted to tell ours Moms, but I don't know what to do for sure.