Post # 1
I talked to my BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor a couple months ago about having a bridal shower, but I feel kind of guilty.
We invited about 165-170 people to our wedding. Am I expected to invite every girl? That’s a lot of people. I feel terrible letting my wedding party pay for the event. I considered offering to help, but we already have so many expenses. I wouldn’t know how to narrow people down either.
I also feel bad that some people would be purchasing a gift for the shower and the wedding. Will they feel like I’m robbing them?
I’m overly excited to be getting married so I like the idea of having the shower as another way to celebrate. Why did everyone else do?
Post # 3
@headoverhighheels: I’m not having one because only a handful of my close friends live here and neither of our families live anywhere close. You don’t have to invite every girl that you have invited to the wedding though. The showers I’ve been to have all been bridesmaids, family, and close friends
Post # 4
I did not have one but generally you only invite your nearest and dearest.
Post # 5
I think traditionally it was all women invited to the wedding, but I don’t think many people do that anymore. My shower will be those family and friends with whom I’m closest. I did not feel guilty about the shower until things started disappearing off the registry and now I am plagued with thoughts like “I hope ONE person did not buy ALL the pots and pans that disappeared from the registry today because that’s like $375 worth of stuff.” I’ll give you the same advice Fiance always gives me… People will buy you a gift if they want to and can afford to, and they do it because they love you. I would focus on a smaller shower with just your closest friends and family… those people that you wouldn’t mind buying multiple gifts for if you were invited to their shower and wedding!
Post # 6
I had a shower and it was fantastic. Bridal showers are the norm in my circle and just about everyone has one. Some brides invite all of the women invited to the wedding while others only invite those who are particularly close to them. In my case, our whole wedding guest list was for the most part “nearest and dearest” so with the exception of DH’s co-workers wives, every woman who was invited to our wedding, was invited to my shower. However, this was only about 35 people (wedding guest list topped out around 80).
As for the gift situation, again, this is the norm where I come from. Everyone is used to gifting at both events and I’ve never known anyone to feel robbed by having to do so (obviously guests don’t have to give gifts but most want to).
If you feel guilty about your girls spending additional money on your shower, request something low key. Showers don’t have to be expensive. Does anyone have a home large enough to hold the event in? You guys can cater it yourself so that can be as simple or elaborate as you make it. Decorations, invites, games, prizes, etc can all be done on the cheap.
Post # 7
I had 2 showers. One with the women from my church and one with family/distant friends.
Not every woman who was invited to the wedding was invited to the showers. About 200 people came to the wedding, but maybe 60ish combined were at the showers? I’m kinda guessing/approximating haha
Post # 8
You don’t have to invite each and every female guest to the shower that you invited to the wedding. I am inviting local women to the shower (the other women are Out of Town and I would not expect them to take extra time and money to travel to the shower AND the wedding.) I have about 40 people on my list so far that I gave to my bm. I think we’ll be adding 10 or so more. My wedidng will be around 150.
Post # 9
None of my bridesmaids or old friends live here; I moved to a new city for a job. But one of my coworkers offered to throw one for me, so we’re meeting to talk about it tomorrow. She’s never hosted one, and I’ve never been to one. I really don’t know what they are, exactly. Different from an “engagement party,” or the same? Anyway, i came to this part of the board to find out what they are!
Post # 10
@shychigirl I’m not 100% myself. It sounds like a baby shower. 🙂 I’m hoping to find some fun ideas though.
Post # 11
I had two (my parents and my FI’s parents live 4 hours apart). We invited 150 to wedding and combined there were maybe 50 women at the showers. They weren’t too expensive, however i am in a wedding where the shower is costing over 2k.
Post # 12
Nope, its a 2nd marriage for me so it is completely inappropriate to have a shower.
Post # 13
What foods did you guys serve? We thought that a lunch meat sandwich type bar and sides sounded good. And cheap 🙂