Post # 1
I’m curious, those who are married… do you call your MIL on mother’s day? Send flowers? Do you see her? Anything? And can you state whether you live in the same city as her or not?
My in-laws don’t live in the same state as us and last year when DH and I were engaged, I sent my MIL a really nice arrangement of flowers with a nice note attached… and she never called or texted me saying thank you or anything. The gesture was never acknowledged. So this year I purposely didn’t call her to wish her a happy mother’s day, text her, send flowers… nothing.
I’ve been thinking about it for the past couple of days and I’m wondering what others do? And please state what kind of a relationship you have with her. Are you guys very close? Do you see her just on holidays?
Post # 2
Diamond84: I texted her and reminded FI to call 🙂
I visited my own mother and brought her flowers and wine
ETA: We don’t live in the same state as either of our parents. My relationship with FMIL is cordial but not great. She is very emotionally manipulative and “needy” (quotes because she doesn’t actually NEED anything…) and I can’t stand people like that.
For example I managed to text her before my FI called. She responds “Thanks. Still waiting to hear from [both of her sons]. They must not love me.” – and not in a joking way…she says that all the time, especially when they call.
Post # 3
My MIL lives about 45 minutes away, but my husband doesn’t really have a relationship with her. I don’t really like being around her either, but I feel sorry for her because of their relationship. She’s always sending him letters since he doesn’t pick up his phone when she calls. So this year I made him call her, and we sent her a card and a box of personalized stationary.
Post # 4
Diamond84: We had her and my FIL over for dinner Friday so it didn’t occur to me to do something additional, honestly. I went out to brunch with my mom that day and FH works on Sundays. 🙂
Post # 5
I’m close with my MIL and they live only a few miles from us. We went over and had dinner with the family, but typically if there are scheduling conflicts I go see my mom and DH goes and see’s his. I got her a bottle of wine and a card.
Post # 6
My MIL and FIL lives about 1 hour away from us, and we have a very strained relationship. However, I did suggest that we would send her flowers – so we did. DH also called and wished her a happy mothers day and mentioned that we had sent her flowers. They only made it there the day after, and she sent us an email saying that she was very surprised (because she thought he was pulling her leg) but happy.
In your case, it sounds like the flowers were sent on your initiative and mostly from you. Perhaps in the future you could talk about it with your husband and have him make the call whether or not you should acknowledge the day. After all, it’s his mum.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2008 - Toronto, ON
I told my DH to call his mother on Mother’s Day, he is forgetful, so I had to remind him. I didn’t talk to her but she told him to say hi from her to me. She lives in a different city about an hour and a half away but she is visiting her sister this weekend who lives in the same city as us and suggested we pop in. I am not close to my MIL at all but we are civil.
Post # 8
playdohpants: Sorry to thread jack… but wow, she really doesn’t sound like a fun person to be around!
Post # 9
Diamond84: she isnt my in-law yet, (still engaged) but even when we were dating we always did something for both our moms- flowers, cards & visit. We live very close to both our moms.
Post # 10
Diamond84: I am in NY and my MIL is in VA. I texted her and sent her an edible arrangement. She texted me as soon as it was delivered. My husband is deployed and on a submarine so he can’t contact her right now.
Post # 11
Do you know that the flowers were delivered and that she knew they were from you? I would have called to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day in any case and to make sure they got there.
We always call and send a card, as well as a gift or flowers. We are not always able to be out of town, but have travelled to see the moms on many Mother’s Days. We are close to both families and see them as much as possible.
Post # 12
FI called her, and we sent a card.
Post # 14
We go to breakfast with his family then church and lunch with my family, every year. Same thing goes for Father’s Day. We usually get the moms some potted plants.
Post # 15
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
Diamond84: He does not, so why should I ?