Did you change your engagement ring?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

You can get a really awesome wedding ring and help pay for it and use the engagement ring as a right hand ring.

 

Post # 4
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@cheapblingring:  My fiance and I ended up going back together and getting a different ring because we both weren’t totally happy with the one he proposed with. You can always get a larger wedding band.

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I didn’t change mine, but if your FI is okay with it, I’d trade it in and pay for an upgrade!

Though it could be that you got a high-quality diamond, and that’s why it’s on the modest side of things size-wise!

Post # 7
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Well IMO if you have to tell us what NOT to say to you, then deep down inside you feel that way about yourself. The man loves you he put all the time and effort into designing and picking out this ring for you that it shouldn’t matter that its not “big enough” “flashy” enough for you. The ring is a symbol of your love regardless of the size, cut and clarity. It sounds to me like you hold yourself high on a pedestal. The way you are coming across seems like you don’t have the best attitude about it either. It seems a little childish to me. I understand where he’s coming from when he’s saying that he wants no input and deemed to not ask your bff because it seemd that it was very important to him and near to his heart that HE pick it out just for you. If I was in your shoes, (which I never would be but i’ll hear you out) I would live with it. Because in the end, if my fiance gave me a 200,000 ring or one from a 25 cent machine I would love it because I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Its not about the ring its about the realtionship. Think about how much you would crush him if you upgraded it yourself, he’d be thinking hes not good enough for you and replacing the ring would just be very hurtful. Instead if you are really unhappy I would maybe get an anniversary band or something for your 1 year/5 year. Just my input. Seems like you guys need to work on your communication factor in your realtionship too, if you really want to..go back and speak to him throughly about why its upsetting you.

 

Post # 8
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am not changing mine but I also agree that if your FI doesn’t mind, then go for it.

Post # 9
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I was in a very similar situation.  I make more money than my fiance and at the time he proposed we were saving for a house and paying off student loans.  He saved every cent of “extra money” (birthday money.. tax returns.. etc) for a year to pay for my 1/2 carat princess cut solitaire. 

Is it as big as I wanted? No.  Is it as big as the women I work with? No.  However, he custom designed the entire ring very much like your Fiance and there is not a single part of the ring that wasn’t given thought to.

To exchange this ring, or express that I didn’t like it would have crushed my fiance, he was so proud of what he was able to give me.  I think that returning or upgrading your ring might really hurt your fiance, so that is something to consider.  I don’t know what is worse, you having to look at the ring every day and know it isn’t what you wanted, or how upset your fiance will be when you return something that he was really proud of.

In the end you know what works for you, but if I were you, I’d keep the ring and maybe get a blingier wedding ring as PP’s suggest. 

Post # 10
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d like to see the ring too! another note i’d like to add is if you can read this post to him, how do you think it would make him feel? not deleting anything you said, how would he react?

Post # 11
Member
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@foreverlovex:  +1.

You basically told us not to tell you the truth.

He obviously put a lot of thought and effort into the ring if he designed it himself and kept checking back in about it.

I’d suggest getting a nice wedding band that makes you happy or getting a different RHR that you can appreciate

Post # 12
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think there is ANYTHING wrong with changing or upgrading your ring in the future! I did! Recently my husband upgraded my engagement ring the ring I’ve been obsessed with for the last two years and I’m having my original wedding band resized to wear on my right hand. That way I have the ring of my dreams and also the ring he put on my finger at our wedding! Lots of feels when I look at my hands lol! Maybe that is an option to consider? It may be a good compromise since your fiance is attached to the ring. Definitely understandable because he put a lot of time into it which is very sweet! Smile Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@memo:  +1

It’d be one thing if he didn’t put a lot of time and effort into picking out and designing your ring, but he did. I think it would be INCREDIBLY hurtful to basically tell him that this ring, the ring he put significant thought into, isn’t good enough for you.

Get an awesome wedding band! Maybe in 20 years or something think about upgrading, but for now, you’re not even married..I’d stick with it.

Post # 14
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would get a banging wedding band to go with it. Can we see a picture of your ring? They have 3 or 4 ct eternity bands that are amazing depending on what your ring looks like that’d be a great way to increase the bling!

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