Did you combine finances before marriage?

posted 3 years ago in Money
  • poll: How did you combine finances?
    We combined accounts before marriage : (93 votes)
    53 %
    We combined accounts after marriage (or we WILL combine after marriage) : (58 votes)
    33 %
    We are married and still do not have combined accounts : (26 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3442 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    We shared finances within 3 months of dating. We knew we were getting married eventually, and it made sense for us. If anybody asks me if I recommend it, I would say no, not for most people.

    However, it was obviously the right choice for us since we have now between together happily just under 4yrs, and married for 6 months.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We certainly didn’t. We call money “our money” and work together but it’s not physically combined (only theoretically). I see absolutely no value in physically combining it and I only see drawbacks. I don’t hear about anyone regretting being financially independent but you sure do hear people crying about being financially dependent or worse, having to divide assets. I’d rather not partake in that mess. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    My FI and I have been together for 17 years and we do not combine accounts nor will we when we get married.  He is terrible with money and its just better for us this way. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @mscuppycake:   We combined already. We live together and it just makes it easier than constantly transeferring money to each other for bills etc. We did this before even being engaged because we knew when we moved in together that it was for the long haul. I haven’t put him on the mortgage yet (I owned the house before we met) because that costs money but legally he could take some anyway if we split up as he pays into the mortgage too.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We combined savings after marriage, and we have a combined checking for the bills, but we keep seperate “slush funds” for little, non-essential items (like if I want shoes, or he wants a video game).

    Post # 8
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @mscuppycake:  We did. We have lived together for 4 years. It just made sense. Only 1 account is separate and only out of pure laziness. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    595 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @mscuppycake:  Ours are combined and we are engaged. After living together for 2 out of the 3 and a half years we have been together, it makes more sense for us. 

    I think you’ll find a good mix of opinions where bees say they will never combine finances, and then the other side where they obviously do. 

    The only bill that isn’t combined in our life at this point is my ring, he has said many times he would never ask that I contribute to paying it off, which is fine with me.. HE bought it FOR me. 

    Our checking account is joint, as well as our savings account. We have discussed each having another account this is strictly our own, but right now I don’t see the point! 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1021 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @mscuppycake:  we opened a new account for wedding gifts.  we might join accounts closer to the wedding, but for now we have separate ones.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    6505 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We shared money for about a year before getting married. However, we didn’t actually share an account until about a week before the wedding. 

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    We have combined accounts now. We moved in together 2.5 years ago, and we combined accounts last November. We were sharing all funds anyway, and with the wedding due this year it was just easier. We also moved recently, and we had to move banks anyway, so that’s when we combined. We each still have a seperate credit card, only the accounts and debit cards are linked, so we can still buy each other gifts. I also have a business card by necessity. 

    Its made life easier and I feel more connected to him? Everything we buy effects “us” and our future and not just me anymore. It makes me more careful and frugal. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

     Like Mrs.Key, we combined years ago. It was right for us, but it’s not something I would generally advise doing before marriage . I always think it’s strange when couples don’t combine after marriage.

    Post # 14
    Member
    132 posts
    Blushing bee

    We are planning to have a bit of an odd system. Right now, we are not engaged and have our own accounts. We plan to open a joint account upon marriage (or engagement) but retain our personal accounts. All the income will go into our joint account, and bills/expenses will be paid out of that. Neither of us individually have a home or a car that requires payment (we both have paid off cars and donated by loving parents!). We plan to pay rent, mortgage, utilities, internet, etc. together – so it might as well come out of the same account – this way we aren’t transferring money to each other, or getting our wires crossed about who needs to pay what!

    Separate accounts will be retained for some financial independent. An equal amount of allocated amount of “spending money” (especially prior to kids!) will be transferred into each separate account per month, and the spouse can do whatever they want with that money! He likes to invest in things I am not interested in spending money on, and I like to spend money on things like going to see theatre shows. Having a little spending money, and not being required to “check in” with the person every time you want a latte, is kinda of nice.

    Post # 15
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    No way. Like a PP said, we don’t hear horror stories about separate finances, only joint accounts. We did just fine before with our own accounts; why ruin a good thing?

    Post # 16
    Member
    1491 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We’ve been married for 7 months and have not combined finances.  Not sure when we will to be honest….  There is one joint account we had to open up for wedding checks and stuff, but other than that it is still completely separate.   

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