(Closed) Did you ever lose friends because you grew up and they didn't?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh yes. Many. I was best friends with this girl in high school and lived with her after we graduated. She ended up moving out because she got pregnant (no biggie) but ended up telling me at some point, I really don’t remember why, that no one likes me and that my (now) husband was my only friend. Whatever, I just stopped talking to her.

We rekindled our friendship a year ago and then she ended up being a huge biotch again. I had a status on facebook asking how to get my dog to stop catching birds and playing with them. Her response was ‘beat her so bad that she can’t pick up her own head even to eat her own food’.

Yeah…if anyone knows me they know that my dogs are my children. I wasn’t laughing at that comment. We got into a huge fight and she ended up texting me and saying that she has always hated me and I should stop talking to her.

Great. Psycho.

Post # 4
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yep.  It sucks, but there’s not much we can do except move on. 🙁  I just decided this week that I would not invite one of my oldest friends to our wedding, after a lot of back&forth.  She and I were super close in high school and she’s still fun when we get to see her.  But, she’s absolutely a drama queen who likes to pick on me because she’s got a terrible jealous streak and has decided everything just gets “handed” to me (um, no, if she could look outside her own self-centered universe for a second she might actually realize how much shit I’ve been through, but whatever).  The last time I saw her for a casual friend dinner, she tried to make a huge dramatic production about my not trying enough to get her there (as in, drive over to her house and drive her and her disgusting husband there and back) and “cancelled” coming three times with me and the hostess…only to show up anyways two hours later unannounced.  She never even makes any attempts to check in at all for months, years at a time – not a text, facebook note, anything.  At a certain point, I just decided she wasn’t worth the drama she likes to put me through and wrote her off.  And that’s sad, because I used to really respect her and a part of me will always love her and wish she was happier with her life; but now she’s seems to be too far gone to actually be a good friend, at least to me.  I hope she has other people in her life that can love her, because I am out.  

But the good part is, letting her go gave me such a sense of relief.  Now I can focus on other awesome people in my social circle since there’s not someone disporportionately sucking up my time and effort.  Overall it was a painful decision but definitely the right one, and just proves how necessary it is to really examine the people surrounding you and make sure they’re lifting you up, not dragging you down!  It’s the right call, don’t beat yourself up!

Post # 5
Member
4525 posts
Honey bee

I had one! A little over a year ago, I had a friend who was super nice to my face. She and FH even got along wonderfully, so the three of us would hang out. Ideal situation, right?

But every time I did something she didn’t like, she ranted about me on every social media site she could find. Then, she got engaged (at the age of 17, to a guy she had only known for 6 months) and absolutely had to talk about her wedding all the time… which was fine until she wanted me to drop everything and plan on Christmas Day. I told her no, that we could talk about it in a couple of days, and she blew up. Our friendship subsequently ended. 

She’s now begging for me to give her another chance, and I won’t do it. 

Post # 6
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This is sort of happening to me now – I posted yesterday about how being pregnant has made me wonder about my friendships. The same thing happened when I got married. Maybe it’s a natural part of life that some friendships don’t last forever.

Post # 8
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh yes it has happend to me. But you know i honestly would rather have 4 quarters then 100 pennies.

Post # 10
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

yes, twice. Had a best friend from birth (literally, our dads are best friends) and we stopped being friends at around 22 and have never looked back. Also went K-12 and college with someone and we recently ended our friendship. With both people, we don’t have much in common anymore, I realized that I was holding on for nostaligic reasons, but they didn’t make sense any more as friends. Even if they are mature, sometimes you just out grow each other.

Post # 12
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, and it’s very normal. There was a study that came out in the last couple of years that said you tend to shed half your friends every 7 years. That may seem high but think about the person you were in high school and then compare it to the person you are/were 7 years from then. Then compare that to the person you become 7 years later and so on. I’ve lost a few friends along the way. It’s sad, but people just grow apart. The best thing is making new friends on your wavelength.

Post # 13
Member
2170 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HappyGirl45:  You do not have to take any abuse from these people, even if you consider them friends. I have been through similar situations and it is not easy. I wish you luck tonight and remember to have enough respect for yourself to walk away.

Post # 14
Member
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You’re deffinatly arnt alone there. I think at one point or another evryone has their childish moments, but after a certian point should start acting their age when the situation calls for it. I dont consider myself “grown up”..not yet. But looking at some people I went to school with..I do feel more grown up than they act. But I also think thats a matter of personality. Some people dont exit that highschool drama seeking phase for years. 

Post # 15
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

This has happened to me as well. I am a very motivated student, perhaps some would say over-achiever. However, a lot of my friends at college were more into partying and doing drugs, etc. Not knocking their choices, it just wasn’t for me. I mean, they constantly were at a party and making fun of me for staying in and working on homework.  It just became obvious to me that I was in a different place in my life where partying and smoking were not appropriate for me.  I felt like those friends were trying to drag me down to a place where I didn’t want to be. I really didn’t need to be around people who were trying to change me and bring who I was down.

Post # 16
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Yep, I’m down to 1 1/2 now. Seriously.

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