Post # 1
So I am a first time mom and my daughter just started daycare and honestly it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…. The saying that “once you have a child you are always missing a part of your heart when you are away” rings sooo true to me now!!!
Anyway, I did not go to daycare when I was a baby/toddler as my mother stayed at home so I don’t have any personal experience to pull from.
I guess what I’m looking for is some reassurance from those of you who went to daycare at a young age.. I know this is totally self serving but I am so sad today that I’d like some pick me up stories about your experiences at daycare and how “it’s ok” and how “you turned out just great” and that you don’t resent your mommy for having you in daycare…
Any bee out there that can help me out? Please…
Post # 3
My mom left us with just about anyone she could afford to pay. Luckily, I have basically no memory under about 5 years old, soooo I have no idea if we were well taken care of or not.
I take DD to an in-home sitter 3 days a week, and MIL comes to our house the other 2 days. I like that she is around other kids & germs on a limited basis, but it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg like a daycare facility would. Best of both worlds for us.
Post # 4
@sn2bmrsmntgmry: I went to daycare! I don’t resent my mom for it! I was a happy kid, I loved the food, and it was fun. I survived, it didn’t give me a “complex”. I preferred it over going to my aunts. I went to college and grad school, graduted and I’m an engineer!! Daycare is not a bad thing. LOL
Post # 5
@sn2bmrsmntgmry: I totally know how you feel! I’m due in 3 weeks and have been doing tons of daycare research and am on waiting lists, but every time a spot opens up I pass it up! I can’t fathom leaving my baby yet. We’ve actually decided that I’m going to work 4 days a week (1 from home) and for the other 3 days we will have someone (either family member or nanny or combination of both) come to the house, at least for the first 6 months or so. It makes me a little more comfortable. (Still holding out hope my MIL retires asap!)
I went to a home daycare as a child (despite my mom being a SAHM). We went part time starting when I was maybe 3 or 4? I have no bad feelings towards it. It was fun playing with other kids and we liked the day care woman.
My nephew goes to a day care center 3 days a week (started at 1.5 days when he was about a year and a half) despite my sister being a SAHM. It has been great for his socialization. He has made huge leaps in his social and emotional development since he started. (He’s 3.5 now).
Daycare can be (and often is) a very positive thing for children. It’s hard finding the right provider, but once you do it will be okay! Your child won’t have any negative effects from it, I promise! Even if they are there full time.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@sn2bmrsmntgmry: I went to daycare as a kid (from a few months old until I was in 4th or 5th grade) and most of my memories are great. I was an only child so daycare was really the only interaction I had with other children my age before school started. For the most part it was naps and playground time and field trips and one or caretakers I really liked (like Ms. Brenda who braided my hair which was something my mom couldn’t do.)
With my step daughter she went to a really nice daycare where they learned their ABCs and basic maths really early (classroom time in the 2s and 3s rooms) so the kids did really well in Pre-K and Kindergarten. It also helped her get used to sitting at a table/desk for periods of time so she was used to it when she started elementary school.
Post # 7
I was watched by a friend of my mom. She lived in the same neighborhood and I would get dropped off in the morning. I still remember being carryed in the house because I wasn’t awake yet, I’ve never been a morning person lol. Luckily she had a daughter my age and we were best friends. It was literally just like going to a friend’s house for the day. Except her mom would teach us things, as she did end up homeschooling her kids. I never “missed” my parents during the day but that might have been because I was with my best friend and it felt like a play date essentially. However, your child will develop friendships with the other kids and it will be just like a play date for them as well.
Post # 8
@DaneLady: my DD is at an in home facility too and I do really like it… its way more cost effective then a center.
@lina010: thank you for your post!! It made me smile.. and kinda tear up at the same time!!
@MrsWBS: I was soo hoping MIL would retire too, but no luck. The worst thing for me is that my mom is retired BUT she lives out of state and won’t move!! I’ve been sending her condo listings weekly to try to get her to move close so she can watch my DD!!! But I know it’s just wishful thinking….
Post # 9
@beachbride1216: so nice that you have such good memories, thanks!
@IzzyBear: I met some of the kids that are there with her and they are just adorable and they were soo happy to meet my DD, so I feel like she will have fun with the other kids once she can interact with them more.
Post # 10
I went to daycare from 3-5, and I loved it. I have really fond memories of the teachers there, and when the school hosted a 10 year anniversary party of their opening when I was a teenager, I went and was so happy to see everyone.
I really loathed a lot of my school experiences, but daycare was not one of them. Obviously it varies with facility, but a good daycare with loving teachers and good policies can be a great experience for kids.
Edited to add: I was babysat by a neighbor before they put me in preschool and it was a *terrible* experience even though she was a mother with children- even at that very young age I have vivid bad memories. Her values were totally out of sync with my parents, which was really confusing for such a little kid- My parents did not ever hit or hurt me physically, but she would hit us and wash our mouths out with lava soap, often for things that we couldn’t predict would get us in trouble beforehand. And her older children would tell us little ones scary stories anad the plots of horror movies and then lock us in the basement. Stuff like that.
My parents finally sent me to the daycare because I started having nightmares and behavior problems when it was time to go to the babysitter’s house. So… listen to your kids if they have issues about their daycare situation, and make sure even if the caregiver seems friendly to you that they have the same childcare values you do.
Post # 11
I went to daycare, a few that I remember. I think one was an in-home daycare and one was a daycare that was run by my mothers work. Another one was a group daycare. I just remember playing games outside at the group daycare one.
I certainly didn’t have any problems and I really don’t remember much about being there at all. My mom was home everyday after we got home from school. I really don’t remember much about it, I wouldn’t have remembered much if my mother had been home with me either. I don’t think I could resent my mother for not being home either when most adults have very limited memories under 5 years old. As long as they’re taking care of you I think it’s fine. The social interaction is really good for toddlers.
Post # 12
@kes18: Good points, Thanks!
Post # 13
@sn2bmrsmntgmry: My mom left us with a 70 some year old woman who is like a grandma to me now. She did a great job, and we loved being there (meaning my brother and I–we were the only two that she took crae of).
According to my mom, she went back to work 3 days after having me, so I had been daycared for since 3 days old, lol. I also spent a LOT of my summer with my aunt during the week. However, my mom is my best friend. The memories I have with her and time I spent are memories I will hold close to me forever.
So, honestly, I don’t resent my mom at all and don’t know how I could. She and I are as close as ever.
Post # 14
My mom had a friend who was a SAHM and left me with her. I’m not sure how old I was when she had to go back, but I do remember this woman’s daughters ganging up on me.
After my mom had my brother, she started her own daycare. Before that, she had to work – my dad was a line cook and my mom was a waitress. Not working wasn’t an option.
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Yes, I was in daycare from age 1 to ~11. I don’t resent my parents at all – as far as I was concerned, it was “normal” because all of my friends were in daycare too. I would have probably been bored to be stuck at home alone or with just one adult.
I probably learned a lot of social skills at daycare too, like making friends, dealing with jerk kids, learning how to act around authority figures who weren’t my parents, things like that.
Edit: Mine was a daycare center though, not a home.
Post # 16
Nope… mom stayed at home with us. It was good until my father decided to leave us. I don’t judge working moms at all!! In fact, it can be better for the child. Giving mom some adult time is good as well… can make for a happier marriage.
I was never even babysat… so when kindergarten hit, it was a nightmare. I had huuuge separation anxiety. We didn’t have any family or many friends because my parents came to Canada (where I live now) when I was a baby.
It’ll be hard because when I have a kid, I won’t know many people either (now my husband and I are trying to move to another country).. but I will try to socialize my kid somehow.