Did you have a perfect childhood?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: My childhood was..
    Perfect. : (84 votes)
    33 %
    Okay. : (94 votes)
    37 %
    Tolerable. : (37 votes)
    15 %
    Terrible. : (38 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    1343 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I had what I would consider a pretty perfect childhood.  At least between okay and perfect.  I had (and still have) a very loving family.  I’ve been very lucky.

    Post # 4
    3635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I went through some bad shit but I was always fed and always knew I was loved.  We made it through as a family and I have good memories.  I wouldn’t wish some of it on my worst enemies but I wouldn’t change it because it’s what made me how I am.

    Post # 5
    15019 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Perfect? I’m not sure that anyone has a “perfect” childhood nor could I even imagine what that is, but I can say that I have great parents who made sure we were fed, clothed, and had a roof over our heads. We were all educated, healthy, taught to work hard, be respectful, be creative, be active in our communities, love our country and our families, stick together, and in general given a good foundations to become adults. We’re all still very close. Overall, I think we (my brother and I) had a normal middle income Midwestern childhood. 

    Post # 6
    3128 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I selected perfect but in reality I was sick a lot of the time. It wasn’t terrible because my parents always made sure I had books to entertain myself. Other than that I did have a perfect childhood. My parents are still together and we never struggled to eat, pay bills, go shopping, buy toys, etc. We spent weekends at our family’s lake property. 

    When I was in 7th grade I got substantially more sick and in 8th grade my depression started but until that point… Yeah, I’d go with perfect.

    I hope I give my children the same childhood my parents gave me!

    Post # 7
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I had a very idyllic childhood, thanks to my amazing parents. Growing up is challenging (teenaged years, anyone?) but the older I get, the more lucky I realize I am.

    Post # 8
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I voted tolerable. I’m fortunate to have had a home, food, education, etc. I am also grateful that my dad was around and worked from home most of my childhood, which gave me a parental bond. He was such a great dad growing up.

    My mother and I never had a good relationship. She worked 60 hour weeks, and I never saw her. When she cut her hours in my teenage years I didn’t want to see her! I was made to feel stupid if I ever got close to getting a B in a class. I had too much pressure.

    I also dealt with abuse at the hands of an uncle for all my early childhood, so of course that wasn’t good. And the aftermath was not either. Things were incredibly tense in my family, and they still are.

    I’m a little bitter this week because I’ve once again butt heads with my mother over various issues this past month.

    Post # 9
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @Fruitypebbles193:  Mine was definitely better than ok but not perfect, who’s REALLY is? Is that possible?

    I was very fortunate as a child, I had loving parents, and a loving family and we were lucky enough to travel and have nice things. But my parents also divorced when I was 12, my dad drank too much, there were a lot of issues there. So those that don’t know me well used to say I wish I had your life, it’s so great etc… but everyone has things in their family that are less than stellar.

    Post # 10
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    My parents were both immature, volatile people who had no business ever having kids. They married far too young, were irresponsible with money and work. My mom wanted to have someone take care of her; my dad wanted to play around, goof off and skip working. He blew a week’s check – meant for paying rent – on comic books soon after they were married. He was 26.

    I fully believe my mom is a narcissist. She relentlessly envied anyone who had material possessions – in our family, an aunt who had a horrible marriage but was lavished with gifts by her husband was among the most coveted by my mom. Mommy dearest had an explosive temper and liked to throw blame at anyone and everyone around her; it was always somebody else’s fault (as I grew older, usually mine). I remember many, many, many stomping, screaming temper tantrums before she would go to her room and slam her bedroom door.

    This usually meant I was expected to follow after her like a dog with my tail between my legs, begging her for forgiveness. She’d seriously cross her arms as she laid in bed, turn her head away from me, and give a childish “Hmph.”

    She had ridiculous standards for my brother and me. I was always an excellent student – she also never had to worry about me doing drugs, having sex, drinking, etc. When I was in college, I was interning, working part time and attending college full-time. I helped out around the house where I could…but that was still never enough. She expected me to handle all of the housework, the errands, school, my internship, my job, and pandering to her and my dad. She would often call relatives, including my brother, to badmouth me.

    My dad was passive and would let her do anything she wanted. I’ll never forget him complimenting me once as I was taking him to a doctor’s appointment just a few years ago. I said, “You’ve never said anything like that to me before, and not in front of mom.” His response? “Well, you know how she is…”

    I’d say I didn’t have a good childhood. Terrible? That might be a little excessive, and I don’t know if I’d call my childhood ‘tolerable’ either. I was suicidal for years living under that roof – who wouldn’t be, living with that kind of pressure? It was not until I finally, mercifully moved out at 23 that I experienced happiness for a few days straight in the course of my entire life. There was always a wall of pressure and stress on me. I probably cried myself to sleep the majority of nights as a child and a teenager…and when I was on my own the depression lifted.

    My mom couldn’t handle any kind of stress, so frequent breakdowns and dramatic, “We’re going to be kicked out on the streets! I might as well just die!” wails were not uncommon.

    Needless to say, they will never be around my kids unsupervised. And if any of that garbage gets started, I simply leave and don’t visit them at all.

    Some people just shouldn’t have kids…like I said, my parents were among them. I’m glad to be here, but I think their lives had been better had they just lived as overgrown children.

    Post # 11
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I voted “okay” but really it was pretty good. A few minor bullying issues in grade school and my parents divorced in HS but it wasn’t that bad. I definitely wouldn’t say perfect though so I went with the next best thing.

    Post # 13
    1428 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

    I had a really good childhood.  My parents both worked, so we had au pairs for several years, which was fun, but I was always a little sad I didn’t get a stay at home mom like some of my friends.  And I wasn’t pushed to be in gymnastics or ice skating or anything cool like that, so I didn’t, and I kind of regret that.  Not that I knew at the time, but I wish I had been more active as a kid.  But I had everything I needed, most things I wanted, and a very stable, loving, normal family.  

    Post # 14
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard

    Am I happy with all the choices my parents made for me? Nope. I wish our family was more “worldly” and I also wish I was fed healthier food.

    However, was I a happy child, did I have everything I needed, and did I grow up healthy and well-adjusted? YES! So I voted “perfect”. 

    Post # 15
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I will credit my parents for my awesome childhood. My adult relationship with them is not the same though. Oh well.

    Post # 16
    7997 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    It was pretty good or so I thought.. until my dad left when I was 13. As I got older I learned more things about my family and realized that my childhood really wasn’t that great. I guess it’s what you’re used to, though. I generally felt pretty loved etc., then it all went to hell when my dad decided to shack up with his mistress 🙂

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