Post # 1
Seems like a taboo question, I’m sure, but his groomsmen (bless their collective hearts) lack direction for as much ambition as they have. They know they want to throw him a great party, but I worry that they are planning something that THEY would want to do for their own bachelor parties and not something Fiance would want (for example, his best man told me that he was thinking they could go to a shooting range to shoot assult rifles when, in fact, Fiance is not at all interested in doing anything like that).
Would it be out of line for me to gently suggest to the groomsmen what Fiance actually wants to do…something outdoorsy and nature related, as opposed to what they have in their minds would be something great for a bachelor party? I don’t want to be the chick crashing the man party or anything, but I want to make sure Fiance has a great time doing something he’d love doing…
Post # 3
The only thing I’ve done is relayed a message to the best man via his fiancee that several of the guys here in town have offered to throw Fiance a local party if his getaway camping weekend doesn’t pan out. Other than that, I’m steering clear of anything to do with it.
Your Fiance is an adult and can tell his best man if he wants to do something different. Are they keeping the plans a secret from him or something? Even then, the most I might do is ask the best man if Fiance was excited to hear about their bachelor party ideas (HINT!).
Post # 4
@sportsgal31: Hahah yes, they are trying to keep it a secret from him. I think hinting to Bridesmaid or Best Man would be the best course of action.
Post # 5
I did. My FI’s groomsmen all live out of town so I provided the guests list to the Best Man and suggested activities for them as well as the pointing them to the “classier” strip clubs in town.
Post # 6
I’m really close to our groomsmen, we call the best man my man of honor, so I had no problem suggesting things. They haven’t planned it yet but I let them no he doesn’t want to sky dive Or get his ass beat at a strip club. I also gave my blessing for Vegas. Just tell him what your Fiance said and let them interpret it.
Post # 7
I won’t be having any imput to the bachelor party, that’s for him and his boys to plan. That being said I have taken the time to let him know what I am and am not ok with, and he will have to pass along those things to his boys. Because you never know what some of them will try to come up with or spring on him as a surprise.
I think the two of you should discuss your ground rules and limits to what is acceptable and what is not, at these parties and both pass along that information. Other then that, I think you should trust your FIs boys enough to know what he would and wouldn’t like, they are obviously close enough to be part of your big day.
Post # 8
Not directly but I did give my BIL some suggestions, none of which he actually listened to. Wish he would have because then his brother (my DH) would have probably had an enjoyable time instead of texting me all night about how lame the whole thing was.
Post # 9
I’ve casually tossed out some ideas. I think the bachelor party is going to be a tricky one for FI’s guys to pull together because despite being close, they are all so different and their ideas of enjoyable are pretty scattered.
Post # 10
Unfortunately yes I had to plan the something, otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten one.
The original plan was to go golfing, have drinks, go for dinner and drink some more, but the golfing wasn’t working out because it was the end of the season in our area, and all the courses were closed or fully booked. So I emailed all the boys, and let them know to show up at this bar at this time, and I brought my husband – he thought it was just him and I going for dinner, but as soon as we got there, he saw his buddies and I left them for the night.
Nothing special, he’s a low-key kinda guy, but I wanted him to have SOMETHING. The boys wouldn’t have known how to organize anything lol.
Post # 11
The only thing I’ve done is to send out a group message to FH’s groomsmen to let them know that if they want me to buy FH a plane ticket or make “plans” with him so he doesn’t schedule something else during that time or drop him off somewhere then I will. Or I will completely leave them alone and let them do their thing. But I told them that’s the extent and I don’t want to know any details for my sake. 😉
Post # 12
I didn’t do any planning, but when my Fiance was saying what the options were and what he wanted to do, I encouraged him to speak up about what he wanted (he was initailly worried about stepping on his BM’s toes).
Post # 13
I’m a little worried about this, because my fiance’s brothers like to plan everything at the last minute. Everyone knows you can’t maximize your fun if you do things that way!
However, my best friend is planning an amazing weekend of fun for me. I feel bad that he won’t get the same! I might need to do a little nagging at some point.
Post # 14
@Tiffmorris: Yeah, I don’t mean “plan” as code for trying to control anything. I trust him and his decisions, so strip clubs and the like don’t really bother me. Hell, we’ve gone to some together! More specifically, what I mean is that Fiance has told me several times that he would like to go hiking or something like that, and when his Bridesmaid or Best Man talked about going shoot really crazy guns, and another groomsman said something about going to Dallas, I automatically was thinking, what? Do you even know him? Hahah! I guess sometimes you don’t realize how little guys talk about what they actually like. I just thought that if they chose to do that, Fiance will probably be disappointed. I want him to have a great bachelor party, not one that all the other guys are going to love and not him.
Post # 15
I wish I had helped plan! My man’s party was really pretty lame. His groomsmen actually apoligized and want to do a do over next year….