Post # 1
When you start wedding planning, everyone tells you that at some point, you’ll think about chucking the entire wedding and eloping. I laughed off those comments.
Well, last night, as I wondered about how we were going to get everything done, I thought about it for a while. I was kind of shocked by how early the thoughts came…we’re still a year away from the wedding (June 1, 2012) and only got engaged at Thanksgiving.
I know what prompted the thought…when I told one of the wedding planners I interviewed that I had signed with a particular photographer, she citied how much that photog charges (she works with her frequently). The price was a good $800 less than what we are paying, which then made me think that vendors were taking advantage of me.
My fiance comforted me, told me we were doing just fine with the planning and that things just cost a lot sometimes.
So…anyone else have those “let’s just elope” thoughts? Did you have them as early as I have?
Post # 3
I felt this way from the beginning. My fiance and his family do not. I think it is great that we are having a traditional wedding, but I can’t help but feel it is silly to spend this much on one day when we don’t have significant savings or even own a house. His parents offered to help with the costs, and I know you can’t dictate what people give you money for, but it just seems irresponsible or something.
So, I know where you’re coming from. I just try to stay positive and think that maybe in 10 years I will look back and be very happy that we had a slightly expensive traditional wedding.
Post # 4
When my FI adds YET ANOTHER person to the guest list.
When I get panicky about having the right amount of funds at the right time to actually pull this off.
Last night, when my FIL tried to convince me to let everyone bring a +1. Um. Hells no buddy, I’m not paying ANOTHER 45$ a head plus 15% gratituty plus cocktail hour appies so people can bring a rando date. Arrrrrrgh.
Post # 5
I think everyone gets to this point sometime during the process. You realize how stressful it all is and you wonder why you didn’t just go to the courthouse and get it done with with minimal fuss.
Post # 6
I totally gotch on that! We’ve been engaged for 3+ years with no date in sight. I’m all for eloping. I tell this to Mr.TKE all the time…his only response is our moms would kill us. That is the ONLY reason for not eloping.
Post # 7
I felt this way about 6 months prior to the date. I was over planning and was watching our bank accounts puke out money. I then recovered and had the same feeling again about 30 days prior to the wedding. I think it’s normal to want to give it up sometimes. Just always give it about 2 weeks before you make any big decisions as the stress level may change within that time frame. No rash decisions when you have bridal brain.
Post # 8
When FI first proposed, I was thinking big wedding immediately. About three days later, when planning a trip to Vegas, I was thinking, ‘let’s just do it now and save the money.’ We didn’t do it.
A few months later, after the planning stress was starting to build we were taking another trip to Vegas (we used to live pretty close) and again I told FI I wanted to elope and again he talked me out of it.
I still have thoughts ALL the time that we would have saved so much money, stress, frustration if we had eloped. But I’m glad we never did. Planning a wedding can be stressful and overwhelming at times. But I know having my dad walk me down the aisle, seeing Daniel in his tux, having my sisters in their BM dresses, that’s something I’d likely never get to experience again, and so I couldn’t be happier and more excited that we have continued on this path.
Post # 9
THANK YOU ladies!
The money really is freaking me out. I think a lot of people planning weddings around here (college town) are spending their parents’ money and there’s a different attitude about budgets. Weddings here are as expensive as where I lived before (outside of NYC and Boston). It’s kind of amazing to be in Virginia and have vendors giving quotes on par with major cities. I got a little help from my parents, but the vast majority of this wedding is resting on our shoulders.
Post # 10
Yes, but because of our financial situation. J proposed when he had a “steady” job (or so he believed) and I was right out school looking for a job that I eventually got 1.5 months after the engagement. We had everything planned. We were going to move out on our own, work and save, and do whatever we could. Well, J lost his job as soon as he proposed basically. Felt that way anyways. Our moving plans are put on hold. My job is pretty secure, but it’s not enough for me to pay bills and save enough money alone.
It’s really tough at times. I know there have been days where he’s apologized to me. He was really upset thinking he messed up because he proposed and then lost his job. I have to remind him at times that life happens and we’re not the only ones going through a tough time (though it feels like it sometimes).
I’ve brought up just a small DW with his parents, my mom, and grandparents. My brothers included. But I know it’s not what I want or what any one else wants. We both want the wedding we’re planning. I’m very excited about it, but still worry on a constant basis on how we’re going to make it financially.
His parents and grandparents to plan to chip in and help with what they can, but the majority of the payments will be on us. I just pray and hope every day that something works out in favor of us for once. It can be a real struggle at times.
Post # 11
I pretty much feel that way every time I look at our guest list.