(Closed) Did you have to "define the relationship"…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Did you have to "DTR"?
    Yes, and I brought it up. : (64 votes)
    25 %
    Yes, and my SO brought it up. : (69 votes)
    27 %
    No, it was a mutual understanding what the relationship was. : (107 votes)
    42 %
    Other (explain) : (14 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    162 posts
    Blushing bee

    We defined it after about a month of dating each other. We’re both 29 and with a lot of experience in relationships, we felt it works best without assumptions. He brought it up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    853 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    He brought it up about 2 months into dating. I think it’s essential to discuss it directly, as most people these days date multiple people at once and that’s considered acceptable, at least where I live!

    Post # 5
    Member
    7653 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We both knew what it was so there was no discussion. However, he kept introducing me as just megz06 and not his girlfriend. I was slightly annoyed and brought it up to him, and he said he just assumed people knew I was his girlfriend, so it wasn’t the fact that he didn’t feel the same.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    No, my fiance doesn’t just do hookups, he only does relationships. I never felt the need to DTR

    Post # 7
    Member
    4441 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @Cory_loves_this_girl:  LOL, DTR!  I think this is hilarious when I see it in TV Shows because this has never happened to me in real life.

    Post # 8
    Member
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I agree that while most of the timeit’s obvious where you are, it’s still important to communicate and have the discussion so there is no question. 

    Assumptions are a dangerous thing!!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    We had two different views of what our relationship was until about 4 months in, when something major happened, and we couldn’t avoid talking about it anymore.  I agree that assumptions can be dangerous and communication is important.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9143 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Yes, but I don’t remember who brought it up.  I think it’s a good idea to make sure you are both on the same page and although you both may be thinking it, it’s a good idea to verbalize it so you both actually know it.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    For us, it was pretty obvious but we still came out and said that we were dating. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    779 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Well, after a few dates he just asked me to be his girlfriend, to be exclusive. So he brought it up I guess. 🙂 we were sort of each others first serious relationship (his first ever), so the only way for us was sort of the straight forward way. 🙂 He was one of those guys that told me exactly what he wanted almost int he first month. I appriciated his complete honesty, and wanted the same thing! 🙂 2 years later, he proposed and we’re getting married this year!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    About 1 month in, he sat me down and said that he’d like to be exclusive if I was willing. It was so formal and cute I just couldn’t handle it. We both knew we weren’t seeing other people, but I always think it is best to spell it out, and so does he!

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    9394 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think he told me after a few weeks he didn’t want to see anyone else.  A month after we met/were dating he asked me to be his girlfriend.  I actually turned him down (haha) because I wasn’t ready.  But I was ready about 2-3 weeks after that.  He asked me again a month after he asked originally and I told him that was what I wanted!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Sort of. After a month I was all cas…”so, are you my boyfriend?” and he said yes, and that was that. I knew he wasn’t dating anybody else, but I wanted to make sure we were on the same track.

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