Post # 1
I’m not engaged yet, but I have already started to think about these details since it could happen within the year.
Did any of you have any issues with picking a MOH?
That’s a hard one for me. My lifelong bff (and the person I always thought would be my MOH) and I have kind of grown apart in the last year or two. I moved 4 hours away for a job after college. She got married (I was her MOH) and has since become incredibly close with her husband’s group of friends, including a handful of females. I’m sure she would consider them her best friends now. We probably only talk once or twice a month these days. I completely understand that things change and people part ways, and I’m very happy for how her life is going.
I have 3 or 4 other girls I will ask to be bridesmaids that have been good friends for years. But I have nobody else I’m comfortable with asking to be the Maid/Matron of Honor. I know some will suggest not to pick a Maid/Matron of Honor, but there will still be someone that will walk in first as well as stand next to the bride, etc.
Anybody else run into something like this? Maybe I should just ask my childhood bff even if we’re not close anymore. Or maybe I’ll make a new bff in the next year or two. 🙂
Post # 3
Is the definition of BFF best friends FOREVER? Haha, it sounded weird to be banking on having a new “BFF” in the next year or so.
Personally, I think it depends on what your relationship with your childhood friend is like. Some people can not see each other for months/years and it’ll still be like yesterday when they see each other again. If that’s the case, then your friend would be the best option. Failing that, are any of your other bridesmaids relatives? I had my sister as my Maid/Matron of Honor so I didn’t have to choose between two friends (and also because I love my sister to pieces).
Worst case scenario, as you mentioned, just go without a Maid/Matron of Honor and divide up the Maid/Matron of Honor duties amongst the bridesmaids (e.g. one bridesmaid walks out first, another holds your bouquet, another signs the certificate, etc.).
Post # 4
@LadyElva: I wasn’t really being serious about the new bff 🙂 Though I am trying to make new friends in my new city!
I don’t have a sister (unfortunately) or any other female relatives I’m close to. I will probably pick my sister-in-law as a bridesmaid, but am not comfortable with asking her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
My relationship with my former best friend is still positive. I just went to see her last weekend while I was home, and we sat and talked for a couple hours. It was nice, but I know things will never be exactly how they were if that makes sense.
Thanks for the response!
Post # 5
I would try to cultivate the relationships with your other bridesmaids and see where they go. If married life took your friend in a different direction, you may not be able to change that. I would say you could still ask her, but don’t overlook the potential for other great relationships around you.
Post # 6
@Taeyers: Good advice. And the decision doesn’t have to be made any time soon.
Post # 8
@pokie45: I don’t really have any advice other than to agree with Taeyers. I personally didn’t have any issues in figuring out who my moh would be. Much like you, we went quite a long time without talking to eachother, but if it’s a friendship meant to be your relationship with her will always come around.
Who knows, maybe in the mean time you two start talking again? Maybe you meet someone knew who has a stronger bond with you? Only time will tell. :]
Post # 9
Not really. It was between 2 girls, both close friends. One has been my friend since I was about 3 years old, the other since about 14. The latter sort of expected to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, but I felt like she wouldn’t really take it seriously/know what to do/enjoy it, and I know she would rather be out partying than help me plan the wedding, whereas my Maid/Matron of Honor actually enjoys stuff like that and never gets on my nerves. I love them both, but it just seemed ‘right’ to pick the girl i’ve known the longest, get along with best and I know she’ll support me. I did feel a bit bad though. The other girl said ‘shotgun BM’ as soon as I told her I was engaged (presumptious, but I had planned for her to be anyway) and then when she asked who my Maid/Matron of Honor was she got a little disappointed and said she had always imagined that i’d ask her to be. I found it easy to choose, but I found it hard to execute without upsetting my friend.
Post # 10
Mine was really easy… I asked my daughter who just happens to be one of my best friends.
Post # 11
I am actually having 2 matrons of honor; my sister and a close friend. It was a pretty easy choice for me.
Post # 12
I’m envious of those of you with sisters!
1. Because it’s an easy,obvious choice for Maid/Matron of Honor.
2. I’ve always wanted to have that relationship only sisters have!