(Closed) Did you help pay for your engagement ring?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3266 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I offered to give him a chunk of money saying that it was something to represent OUR relationship. He refused but it’s on a credit card now (yay no interest!) and in a way that means I’m helping pay for it because we have a joint banking account for all bills.

Post # 4
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sort of? He bought the e-ring himself, but a little over a year of marriage and I just couldn’t take the inclusion in my center stone anymore… so I upgraded it. We have combined finances, so technically we are both paying off the new stone. 

Post # 5
Member
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Yep, I actually paid for the entire ring upfront. There was a sale that day and we didn’t want to miss it. I had the savings and FI did not. He later paid some of my expenses that equated to half of the ring. So in our minds we split it 50/50.

Post # 6
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

My SO has my ring, but we aren’t engaged yet. He bought it all himself, but if he would have asked for help I definitely would have offered it. We aren’t the type of old fashioned people who think the man has to pay for everything. We do everything 50/50, and it really works out for us that way. We both make the same amount of money.

That being said, even though we aren’t old fashioned, I don’t think he would have wanted me to help him pay for the ring. I felt like it is basically a gift for me, and that would be like asking me to pay for some of my gift. 

Post # 7
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

If hes old fashioned- what if you did it in a round about way? Like you pick up more of the bills or rent for a few months so he can save the extra 20%? That way youre helping him, but indirectly?

 

 

Post # 8
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee

@LovelyCoCoBee:  +1 I love this idea.

I didn’t contribute anything towards my ring- it was a total surprise. But I don’t think I would have minded helping to pay for my ring if DH had needed the help.

Post # 9
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I didn’t even want an e-ring but he was dead set on getting me one so he picked it out and paid for it just like in the old days.  🙂    

Post # 10
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee

If I were to get engaged prior to next year, I would be paying for part of my e-ring. Emotionally, DBF and I are at the right place in our relationship to get engaged. However, at age 18, DBF has more pressing expenses than a ring – he’s saving up for a car, so I’d feel guilty even if he bought me a gemstone ring set in gold for $200 off of Etsy.

Since DBF is open to the idea of me contributing to the ring, we’ll likely do that. We see engagement as a step that a couple takes, so why should only one partner pay for the ring?

Post # 11
Member
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Nope, not at all, but my ring isn’t very expensive.

Post # 12
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Mode:  Welcome! 

I think it is TOTALLY fine for you to offer to pay the difference. Since he seems comfortable with your current dynamic (you making and contributing a little bit more), hopefully he will be open to you contributing to the ring if it means getting exactly what you want!

When looking at diamonds, I found one that I REALLY liked that was about 1k over budget. We talked about it, and I told my SO I would pay the difference. I actually changed my mind and found a better one in budget, so that all worked out! I’ve still offered to contribute, just because it’s a HUGE purchase. But SO planned and saved, and said it would be OUR money eventually anyway.

Post # 13
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Yes.  I absolutely helped FH pay for my ring.  🙂

Post # 14
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I offered to help him pay for it but he refused. 

Post # 15
Member
2833 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Sure did!… Nothing wrong with it either 🙂

Post # 16
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Mode:  My fiance paid for my engagement ring. We ran into some trouble while looking for my wedding band though. My ring is a halo and so it’s really difficult to find something to fit around it, so getting a band was going to be complicated and more expensive. His attitude about the whole thing was “well I already bought you a ring! Maybe I can get you a band for like, $250.” It honestly upset me that he thought it was a stupid tradition to wear a band and wasn’t sensitive about it fitting with my ring well. I ended up paying for my own band so I could have what I wanted and what fit. We have a great relationship, but it kind of hurts my feelings knowing that he didn’t actually want to buy me a band because he thinks it’s a stupid tradition.  All and all, I think it’s just fine if the woman helps her man pay for the ring. Just think about whether or not it might bother you down the line!

 

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