Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor asked me for a guest list for the shower and that got me thinking. Do I invite out of town family members to the shower? I think it looks a bit gift-grabby, but since they are family of myself and Fiance, I don’t know if they will be expecting an invitation. What did you do?
Post # 3
@Fall_In_Love22: I’m not sure what the rule is, but I didn’t, and I don’t think anybody was upset to not be invited (at least nobody has said anything to me 😉
Post # 4
The only Out of Town people invited to my shower were FI’s step mom and two of my bridesmaids. I don’t think you should extend the invite any further than immediate family, but that’s just me!
Post # 5
Yes, I invited women that live out of town. Even though they will likely not be able to come, they’ll know my intentions are genuine, not to get a gift from them.
Post # 6
Shower was held in my hometown (Pittsburgh PA). We invited Fiance close family but not our Toronto friends and extended family. Mainly for the reason that I didn’t want them to make the trip twice or think it was expected. It was a tough call though because I also didn’t want them to feel left out. I just explained why.
Post # 7
I did invite FI’s Out of Town Aunts/Cousins and a few of our Out of Town friends. I think all of the Out of Town people I invited were no longer than 5 hours away. Since its close friends and family, I hope that people make a weekend out of it.
I think it depends on how far away your Out of Town guests are. Being from Ohio, I wouldn’t invite anyone from California, unless the person was in the wedding.
Post # 9
I did, as a courtesy. I didn’t expect them to come or send presents or anything (which they didn’t). I just wanted them to know I was thinking of them and wanted them to feel included.
Post # 10
Thanks bees. I’m in a tough situation. Let me give some back story…
FI’s grandma is a horrible, horrible woman. We live near St. Louis and she lives in GA (I think), so we never see her. FI’s dad was murdered when Fiance was 2 and this woman complained that she had to go to her son’s funeral (The whole family has told this to me). When FI’s dad was a kid, she was shacking up with some guy who beat up FI’s dad and she never did anything to help. She’s also told Fiance (with me standing right there) that he’s only here because his mom is allergic to BC pills. She also tried to sue Future Mother-In-Law for legal custody of Fiance because he gets a check every month because of his dad. She didn’t want to take care of Fiance, she just wanted the money.
Fiance wasn’t even going to invite her to the wedding, but his great grandma (mother of the horrible grandma) would be upset, so now she’s invited. I’m afraid that if she’s not invited to the shower that she’ll throw a fit and if she is invited, she would come and make things misserable. I was hoping to use the excuse of “we’re not inviting OOT-erns to the shower.”
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Considering your circumstances, it’s fine skipping her invite. I’m inviting FI’s Out of Town family as a courtesy only- probably only 2 out of 7 family invites will attend. Your shower can be a more intimate event- you don’t have to invite every woman who’s invited to the wedding.
Post # 12
My bridesmaids are planning a shower for me and are inviting all the Out of Town guests. We don’t expect most of them to show up, but we wanted them to know they are always welcome.