- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2009
I have come to kuwait to see "the fiance"….he already calls me the fiancee. however, he has not proposed in any traditional sense. yet, we picked out a ring in october. he has said in the up coming weeks that he had a big surprise in april for me.
he works 7 days a week 12 to 16 hour days.
i am here just waiting until he gets done with work in order to spend some time together.
2 months ago he decided that we aren’t to have any pre-martial making out or anything that could eventually leads to sex. little to say this has left me feeling unloved and rejected. yet, he says i need to remember that he never waited with anyone else therefore this makes me special.
but it really just makes me frustrated.
we can’t see each other naked. yet we can sleep in the same bed. we’ve been dating a year and he was asking me to marry him as early as our first week of dating, yet, as I said, I don’t consider it a real proposal.
I have this feeling or at least I thought I had this feeling that he was going to ask me to marry him with the ring, which was picked out last october. But now I am finding myself an emotional mess and not wanting him to ask because all this waiting feels like torture. we talked about getting married in June. Everyone I know that has dated less time than us will or have already married before us. It just all makes me feel like there is something so wrong with me.
Shouldn’t I be beyond myself with excitement about possible proposal? Except I find myself not wanting him to ask and part of that is because I have the anticipation and because I know it could then be another year wait before we marry.
All the travel has made me very exhausted and this anticipation and anxiety is taking it’s toll. I am scared out of my mind.
Can anyone offer advice to how you handled the possibility of a proposal?
Did you know he was going to propose?
I don’t want to be frustrated when he does and I am frustrated now.