Post # 1
this is a mini rant…but would appreciate comments 😉
i have twin boys. They are 6 weeks old. One cries ALOT and the other not so much. The one that cries predictably starts in the evening hours, usually he starts out fussy, say around 8pm but is still lulled by his feedings/various methods. Then it gradially gets worse, for example tonight peaked around 10pm with the crying being inconsolable for a good hour and a half or so and gradually improved until it stopped around midnight. Yes I’m tired, yes I feel like going to go nuts. Yes I’ve read various things you can try to soothe your baby and so far I haven’t found the magic method other than “he will grow out of it”
im a FTM and when we went to my babies’ 1st pediatric appt they had is watch a video about “the purple cry” I remember thinking how aweful some parents have it, their babies crying so much so often….surley my babies won’t have that problem. Hehehe..laughing at how naive My 7 day postpartum self was.
my babies are well nourished, healthy, and for the entire other 20 hours of the day, are perfectly content Unless wet, poopy, hungry, etc.
my rant is not about the crying but about my mother, mother in law, sister in law, etc…all constantly suggesting something is wrong with my baby, that I’m not doing enough to find the source.
Fogive me but I’m the one up all night with him and it’s my understanding that babies cry!
Post # 2
Babies are all different. My friends baby is very fussy, but can be calmed by shhhhhing loudly next to his ear. Another friend has a son who could only be soothed by the song “Lean Like A Cholo” and only that song. Her husband HATED it.
With my nieces they really liked to be swung really fast and hard…faster than most baby swings go. Usually I’d end up putting them in their carseats and swinging them with my arms until they fell asleep. Their brother was TERRIFIED when I tried to do that with him though! Lol
You just have to keep trying whatever you can think of to find what works for your baby. Crying doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong.
Post # 3
Sounds like classic colic.
Have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? That has a lot of great tips.
Sometimes food allergies can cause colic, other times babies are just hard to console. Dont let your in laws make you feel guilty. They have no idea.
Sending lots of hugs. Having a baby who is hard to console is one of the worst feelings 🙁
Post # 4
Make sure you’re ruling out food alergies if you’re breastfeeding or formula sensitivty if not. Often times “colic” is really gastointestinal pain.
Post # 5
fresitachulita: YES BABIES CRY. Holy moly, sometimes they cry just because that’s what babies do, not because something is wrong. The Purple Period of Crying is what has replaced “Colic” as a diagnosis for babies who cry excessively- but regardless, it is a phase about 1 in 4 babies go through. Sounds like your baby is gaining weight appropriately and you’ve looked at everything else- are they too cold/ hot, are they wet/ dry, are they hungry/ overstimulated etc. If all those have been addressed, then unfortunately, you are one of the lucky mother’s with a colicky baby/ purple period of crying baby. I am so sorry, it’s SO HARD for mothers, I’ve known a few friends who have gone through it.
Honestly though, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. The doctor looking after one of my friends who had a VERY colicky baby was adamant that she take breaks. Crying does NOT harm babies, and sometimes you need to put the baby down in a safe place like the cot, walk downstairs/ away from the room, have a cup of tea, put on some relaxing music, turn down the baby sound monitor a bit, etc. My friend got so desperate she put her baby in the cot, and took her baby monitor and sat out in her car in the driveway and cried. Her doctor applauded her for removing herself from the stressful situation- and she was very much relieved when she talked to him about it. Moms of such babies are more at risk for postnatal depression and unfortunately, for shaken baby syndrome. So, the take home message- Happy Mom= Happy Baby, take care of yourself!
Post # 6
Honestly, I think ecenibg is the witching hour fir many young babies and they out grow this fussy period. I nursed my babies. My son improved when I cut out dairy. My daughter never really had a fussy period. Anyway, I think you’re describing normal newborn behavior. Hang in there. It gets better.
Post # 7
Btw, I am nursing and aupplementing with formula, same formula they have been taking since day 1 with no issues. My diet hasn’t changed, I have stayed away from dairy most days, having it only from time to time and haven’t noticed any difference when I do. Plus if this were a food issue then why only crying on the evening!
Yes he and his brother are gassy…doesn’t seem to bother them most of the day other than making them a bit squirmy from time to time…but the baby that cries seems to gulp air when he cries, meaning the crying is what’s causing the air on his tummy…I can hear it!
he does spit up quite a big more than his brother but seems he just tends to comfort eat/nurse alot..:he doeant seem to have pain when he spits up, he has wet diapers…seems to me he just has a trickiER pyloric sphincter…and his bro has an iron one.
I askes the dr about reflux at last appt and he dismissed it based on the sx I describes being normal spit up, not vomiting, etc.
i feel eel like I sknt have the energy to keep exhausting g every possibility when it’s quite clear this is “colic” or period of purple crying.
Post # 8
Yes, babies cry! Mine cried a lot more than I was expecting when I was pregnant. He had reflux and was treated for it, but he was uncomfortable all day long, not only in the evening. I could not put him down, he would only sleep on me in a kind of upright position, so it’s probably not reflux.
Babies crying/fussing more in the evening are normal, it is their way of releasing the tension of the day, it must be quite stressful to be kicked out of your home that you had for the last 9 months and have to learn to breathe, eat, sleep, live.
There is not much to do, you could try baby-wearing if you think you’ll like it, I have an Ergo-baby with infant insert, saved my life (and sanity) many times. At least you get your hands free, and if you walk a bit, it lulls baby into sleep, then you sit down and read a magazine.
I think you’re doing great and you have all my admiration for raising twins! As for MIL and such making comments, maybe you could say the their doctor said it’s colic, to offer comfort and that’s it, so if they want to help by holding baby fine, otherwise they can go clean your house/cook some food and shut up already 😉
Lastly, a classic : this too shall pass. It couldn’t pass fast enough for me when I was so tired of not sleeping, but it did pass. I’d say those rough evening get better at around 2-3 months if I remember correctly.
Post # 9
Yes, babies def cry! And it’s really hard having people with kids over in the worst time period for baby colic because of the advice giving – something worked for their baby so obviously it works for all babies, ha ha ha. My baby was a witching hour screamer – about 6 to 10 pm was her crying. It lasted for a few weeks, and then tapered off. Nothing wrong with her or milk or allergies or reflux, she just was crabby! But I had a million people tell me this, that, and the next thing about it and it drove me NUTS! Like my mil was constantly changing her diaper, and I was like – she doesn’t care if she has a bit of pee in her diaper, that’s just not the problem. But no, MIL changed her diaper every 5 minutes. And when my FIL came, he was lecturing me about how she needed to be “be walked” and rubbing her temple worked (!?) and how he had an especially soothing heartbeat (wtf!?). Anyway, I wanted to punch everyone in the face and go to sleep! But hang in there! Sounds like you know your babies and that you’re handling a totally normal phase like a champion.
Post # 10
fresitachulita: have you tried LOUD white noise?! I have a iphone app called white noise baby and I put it on the hair dryer and turn it up all the way and it instantly stops her from crying and usually will put her to sleep. The vacuum has the same effect but the app is easier to deal with!
i know you weren’t looking for crying help but fiured i would mention it! I can’t stand when people get annoyed by baby crying, it’s what they do!!
Post # 11
Not that you have tons of time to read with newborn twins, but I thought this article was interesting – http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/03/upshot/calling-an-ordinary-health-problem-a-disease-leads-to-bigger-problems.html?_r=0
I understand how you feel. I really appreciate my mom’s help with my 16 month old son, but sometimes she freaks out about the littlest, normal things and I’m like “Lady, didn’t you raise 3 kids??? Why are you panicking about a runny nose/scrape on his knee/series of farts?” I hope for your sanity your son outgrows it soon. My neice was fussy and it all disappeared around 3-4 months.
Post # 12
Not a baby expert at all but I was reading about pediatric sleep disorders recently and was reading about conditions where the baby does not sleepwell etc. The jist of it was that he is unable to self soothe, and you go in every time he cries to soothe him, the issue perpetuates itself. Basically the baby becomes dependent of certain situations to be present to soothe, relax, or sleep.
Post # 13
Both my boys would get very fussy at night when they were newborns. And I totally get where your conjng from. Apparently my grandmother and mother had non crying babies because they would get so upset by their cries. Would always ask, are you doing x, y, and z. Honestly their comments were more exhausting than my babies. I’ve gotten a lot better about not taking their comments personal but I get where your coming from!
Post # 14
Do you have a vibrating bouncer? My baby had terrible colic and the only thing that soothed him was the vibrating bouncy seat. It saved me !
Post # 15
My son was the same way at that age. He would start to get fussy in the early evening and would cry and cry and cry until about 10 PM. I tried everything to figure out what the problem was. Too hot? Too cold? Mattress too hard? Something I ate? Caffeine? Not swaddled tightly enough? Hating being swaddled? Maybe colic? Give him gripe water. The list goes on! Nothing really made a difference. The crying started to get better and for shorter periods around 8 weeks, and got progressively better until it completely stopped around 12 weeks.
Just hold on and keep doing what you’re doing – it will get better.