- 5 years ago
My husband and I have been married since October. Last night, while we were cuddling, he said, you know, you’ve been grinding your teeth at night. Little did he know, this is immediately what I associated with that comment.
Back when he and I were still dating, but spent nights together, he told me the same thing. However, he told me this when we were having a really rough time in our relationship and almost breaking up.
I told him back then that I thought it was very critical, and I still remember the sting I felt at that comment at that time.
The facts are, I take medication at night and have for several years, and I guess, I might grind my teeth at night. If I’m really tired, or fall asleep on my back, I might have a nightmare and sit up quickly and talk in my sleep. So what. I don’t think it is that big a deal.
My husband told me last night, just what he told me the first time. It is my responsibility to tell you. If I was doing something, I would want you to tell me. You know, it could be a side effect from your medication. Maybe you should talk to your doctor.
Urgh. This got me so upset and I started bawling. Yes, I could be over sensitive, but the minute DH says anything related to my medication, etc, I immediately associate this with a rough patch we went through when I went through a major depressive episode a few years ago.
I realize this could be overreacting, but it is how I feel. I am sensitive about these kinds of things.
I am hurt because my DH is not perfect. He has OCD and anxiety, and whenever he go out he has these little quirks like shaking his leg, etc, and his friends and family always comment and say ‘hey, you seem really nervous or something!’ He also experiences it at home, like when we are doing dishes, or when we stay at a hotel. Even my family will comment on his anxiety (not in a critical kind of way, only in a discussion with my Mom for example where I could be venting). I have my own therapist, and I never say, hey, you know what, I think you should be looking into these things and going to your doctor more often. Because I love him and I don’t want to hurt him.
He left for work this morning but just whispered good bye and I love you. I figure he is going to call me at some point. He wants to know why this is so upsetting to me, yet he says we should just forget it. I tend to want to write things out, but I don’t want to send him any kind of email because I don’t want him to get upset at work.
I know we have to talk about this tonight.
Am I looking at this unrealistically?