Post # 1
- Wedding: May 2014 - The Crystal Ballroom at The Rice Hotel
So here is the conundrum: We’re getting married in 112 days and have no officiant.
We both grew up with a Baptist background and were involved in our churches more so then, than now. We don’t really attend anywhere now, plus are getting married in my hometown. My parent’s church has more than split, it “exploded”. With all of their differences I just don’t feel comfortable hiring either of the churches old pastors. Not to mention… Fiancé and I live together and just bought a house, its no secret. It would have been nice to have the same pastor that married my parents, however because fiancé and I do the deed/cohabitate I highly doubt he would officiate. Plus, he was part of the split. Awkward.
Did you know your officiant? If you didn’t was it weird not knowing them? And last, did you look back and wish you had, had someone you knew marry you?
Post # 3
For us having someone we knew marry us was very important. We’re not religious and are having a secular ceremony, so really we could have hired just about anyone. We didn’t want to pay some random person to marry us, so we’re having a friend get ordained online.
But I think if we were having a religious ceremony knowing them wouldn’t matter as much. If we were members of that church and believed in the religion then the fact that they were a pastor/priest would give them meaning. When I was looking at options for our ceremony there were tons of people (retired judges, miniters, etc) that you could hire, but those people were completely meaningless to us.
Post # 4
- Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN
i couldn’t have imagined being married by anyone who didn’t know us both individually. My husband grew up going to our church and I started attending the church at the end of my senior year of high school (2008 graduate!!). And I felt like family ever since I started going there. It made it more personal to us.
Post # 5
So we’re not married yet but we’ve hired an officiant (but he was recommended through my mom). At first, it is a little odd because you don’t know this person and you don’t know what to expect. We met with our officiant and it only took a few minutes for us to feel comfortable with him. We know we made the right choice. He makes us laugh and makes us feel less nervous.
I think you can look around before you hire someone though. We are not religious and do not have a pastor/priest etc.
Post # 6
My grandmother is a Justice of the Peace, so I think we are going to use her. Neither of us are religious (and we’re different religions, anyway), so a JoP or something similar was always going to be our best bet. I like the idea of having her do it and she’s really excited to be involved.
She does weddings for random people, so this won’t be her first one, either. She knows what she’s doing, which is also important to us.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
One of our best friends got ordained online to marry us. I can’t imagine having a stranger do that… one of the most important and intimate moments of your life, and a stranger is overseeing it?!? Not for me. It was really meangingful to have our buddy there.
Post # 8
@iDreamofJune: None of those really work for what we are doing. My uncle is marrying us. He got ordained the day I asked him if he would do it. So thats an option if you have a friend or family member willing to do it.
Post # 9
one of FI’s best friends is our officiant. It was very important that it be someone that knows us so we can have a personal connection.
Post # 10
We were married by a celebrant that I found online. We met with her in person twice before the rehearsal/wedding, and we communicated often through email. I’m thrilled we went with her, and she was by far the best wedding investment. She was amazing.
I think the key to having a stranger marry you is to meet a couple times beforehand and make sure you’re comfortable with that person. With our celebrant, we felt like we were good friends already even after the first meeting. We clicked, and she gave off such a warm vibe.
Post # 11
We did not know our officiant before we hired her. We liked the idea of a friend officiating, but we knew that none of our friends would be comfortable with that responsibility. We decided that it would be better to hire someone who knows wedding ceremonies inside and out. When we first met her, we clicked very quickly, and she has been great to work with so far.
Post # 12
@iDreamofJune: We hired someone, had a few phone conversations with him but didn’t even meet him until the day of the wedding. It was fine. We wrote our entire ceremony ourselves and it was very intimate and personal despite us not knowing the officiant.
Post # 13
I’m not really into the friend or relative marrying us. We also are not religious so don’t have a pastor or someone to ask. We got a very good recommendation and met with the person. We clicked immediately and hired him a few minutes later. We have a great feeling about it and like that he has experience and will be able to guide us through everything.
Post # 14
We’re having a secular ceremony and FI’s friend is officiating!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2014 - The Crystal Ballroom at The Rice Hotel
It seems that many of you went with someone you knew and do believe it strange to have someone you don’t know officiate, but it also seems many of you are non-religious. I do hear you other bees who did simply hire someone, don’t want y’all feeling like odd balls 🙂
This is so tough! Much more so than I ever expected… We don’t want an overly religous ceremony and do plan on writting our own vows, however I do not care for weddings that promote rainbows and butterflies, happy yet non-personal. If you know what I mean?
I don’t think we have any friends that would take the position on and I don’t think my pastors would commit without one of us moving out. Which in 2 weeks we’re moving out of state — therefor not an option.
Of those who had pastors, what denomination and did the pastor/priest have a problem with you living togther? I feel I might should have posted this under christianity? However, we are not having a typical Baptist wedding. There will be alcohol and dancing.
@whaleigh: I’m an “Oh’8” grad too! 🙂
Post # 16
Mine will be my pastor/friend. He’s been a part of my life for at least 7 years. He has also become a good friend to my parents, especially my dad. There’s nothing wrong with hiring someone you don’t know, I just feel like it will make it a little more special wit having my pastor/friend marry us 🙂