Did You Know Your Officiant/Pastor?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Who was/is your officiant?
    Our pastor/priest -- Glad we went with someone we knew. : (38 votes)
    53 %
    We hired someone -- It was not weird, and we are married. That's all that matters. : (32 votes)
    44 %
    Our pastor/priest -- It doesn't matter though, whichever would have been fine. : (2 votes)
    3 %
    We hired someone -- And I wish we had gone with someone we knew. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    For us having someone we knew marry us was very important. We’re not religious and are having a secular ceremony, so really we could have hired just about anyone. We didn’t want to pay some random person to marry us, so we’re having a friend get ordained online.

    But I think if we were having a religious ceremony knowing them wouldn’t matter as much. If we were members of that church and believed in the religion then the fact that they were a pastor/priest would give them meaning. When I was looking at options for our ceremony there were tons of people (retired judges, miniters, etc) that you could hire, but those people were completely meaningless to us.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1878 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

    i couldn’t have imagined being married by anyone who didn’t know us both individually. My husband grew up going to our church and I started attending the church at the end of my senior year of high school (2008 graduate!!). And I felt like family ever since I started going there. It made it more personal to us.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1259 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    So we’re not married yet but we’ve hired an officiant (but he was recommended through my mom). At first, it is a little odd because you don’t know this person and you don’t know what to expect. We met with our officiant and it only took a few minutes for us to feel comfortable with him. We know we made the right choice. He makes us laugh and makes us feel less nervous.

    I think you can look around before you hire someone though. We are not religious and do not have a pastor/priest etc.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2125 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    My grandmother is a Justice of the Peace, so I think we are going to use her. Neither of us are religious (and we’re different religions, anyway), so a JoP or something similar was always going to be our best bet. I like the idea of having her do it and she’s really excited to be involved.

    She does weddings for random people, so this won’t be her first one, either. She knows what she’s doing, which is also important to us.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8903 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    One of our best friends got ordained online to marry us.  I can’t imagine having a stranger do that… one of the most important and intimate moments of your life, and a stranger is overseeing it?!?  Not for me.  It was really meangingful to have our buddy there.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1059 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @iDreamofJune:  None of those really work for what we are doing. My uncle is marrying us. He got ordained the day I asked him if he would do it. So thats an option if you have a friend or family member willing to do it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    one of FI’s best friends is our officiant. It was very important that it be someone that knows us so we can have a personal connection.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    We were married by a celebrant that I found online. We met with her in person twice before the rehearsal/wedding, and we communicated often through email. I’m thrilled we went with her, and she was by far the best wedding investment. She was amazing.

    I think the key to having a stranger marry you is to meet a couple times beforehand and make sure you’re comfortable with that person. With our celebrant, we felt like we were good friends already even after the first meeting. We clicked, and she gave off such a warm vibe.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee

    We did not know our officiant before we hired her.  We liked the idea of a friend officiating, but we knew that none of our friends would be comfortable with that responsibility.  We decided that it would be better to hire someone who knows wedding ceremonies inside and out.  When we first met her, we clicked very quickly, and she has been great to work with so far.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @iDreamofJune:  We hired someone, had a few phone conversations with him but didn’t even meet him until the day of the wedding.  It was fine. We wrote our entire ceremony ourselves and it was very intimate and personal despite us not knowing the officiant.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1083 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m not really into the friend or relative marrying us. We also are not religious so don’t have a pastor or someone to ask. We got a very good recommendation and met with the person. We clicked immediately and hired him a few minutes later. We have a great feeling about it and like that he has experience and will be able to guide us through everything. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1197 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We’re having a secular ceremony and FI’s friend is officiating!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2762 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Mine will be my pastor/friend.  He’s been a part of my life for at least 7 years. He has also become a good friend to my parents,  especially my dad. There’s nothing wrong with hiring someone you don’t know,  I just feel like it will make it a little more special wit having my pastor/friend marry us 🙂

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