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ok. serious question. I'm wondering - since OBVIOUSLY I want to assume that all of us here are SO much happier in a relationship / getting married or already are...but honestly - how many of you here were honestly "happy" with being single. not just happy WHEN you were single - but were literally happy about being single?
I am going to be completely honest. I HATED it. I wasn't an unhappy person - but I absolutely hated being single. I always wished I could have been one of those "happy single gals" but I never was.
I want to say that I didn't need someone to BE happy but maybe I did (and can't tell you how - every single day - even after 3.5 years - I do thank god for my husband)...
but honestly - I'd love to hear from all of you - were you TRULY happy being single?
Eh...I'd have to admit that the "grass is always greener on the other side" had crossed my mind a few times. But definately happy to be with my man now.
Personally, I loved being single... but I love my FI more :) In high school I just kind of decided one day that any drama involving guys wasn't worth the stress and that one day I'd find a guy that didn't create more stress... And then had four wonderful years of single-hood. I had a great time and really (even though it sounds rather cliche...) found myself. Then, I just happened to meet the right guy. I'm still me, he's still him- but we're happy together. So, even though I was happy then- I'm still happy now. If that makes sense?
I was really good at dating and doing the "light and casual" thing. Sometimes I wish the Mister and I could go back to "light and casual" but life after college really isn't like that. And I would miss telling him I love him!
I pretty much have been with my FI since we were kids - we started dating when we were just 14! People always asked me if I felt left out on the "single life" and I was always like "NO! I feel fortunate that I never had to be single!" The whole dating scene is not something that I would be good at - good thing I got lucky and snagged him early! LOL
I had a lot of fun... but I wouldn't say I was "happy" in the same way I am now.
I was never happier dating people until I started dating my FI. Now I honestly couldn't imagine not being with him.
I was happy being single. very happy in fact. I had just came out of a two year relationship 9 months before I met my FH and before that another two year relationship. So being single was a new thing. I found that I was blissfully unaware of guys, just doing my thing... it wasnt until my friend gave my number to him on a night out and that he actually texted and asked me for coffee I was like.. woah.. new people great! It wasnt until that 4hr coffee meeting that I thought...I could give another relationship a shot. If my friend hadnt given out my number, Id prob still be happily single for another year or so, before probably being happy but wanting to go out with someone.
Sorry bit of a ramble, but its very hard to define the word happy.. or happier...
I honestly don't remember being single. I have been with FI for 6.5 years and was in another long term relationship for 3 years before that.
However, when I see the struggles of my single friends I definitely do NOT wish I was in thier shoes! There are so many games and misconceptions that go on while dating.
I was happy being single. I was always the one who rolled their eyes when other girls whined about not having a boyfriend. I'm just happy being me - but I go to alot of talk therapy to get that. :)
I had lots of fun as a single girl... partied a lot and dated lots of different guys. But now that I'm 30, I'm so happy to have my FI and to be getting married in a few months! To me, it's all about timing. There's a time and place for all the partying/dating and for me, that phase is over. I wouldn't change my past one bit, but I'm so looking forward to my future. :)
I liked being single...when I finally found out being single didn't mean chasing after a man to get into another relationship :) Don't get me wrong, I love my DH, I just love being married in a diferent way than I loved being single...my true single life was very much like Sex in the City...it was about me and my girlfriends and the fun/adventures we had...and there were many :)
I LOVED being single. LOVED it. I was free from my jerk ex-boyfriend after 3 1/2 years of misery, I was making a lot of positive changes in my life, and I enjoyed the freedom and personal responsibility so, so much. It was a little lonely at times, but you know what? If I hadn't met my SO, I would still be happily single-and-not-looking. He just so happened to be special. ;)
I absolutely loved being single and I was very happy (don't get me wrong, I am still very happy right now with FI). I had tons of friends and they were my partners in crime in travels and misadventures. I guess you can call me a settler but I am never the type who looks at the other side and says that side is greener. That said, when I was single, I never looked for dates or boyfriends. If one came, then good, if none came, I was equally okay. I never felt lonely when I was single and I never believed that being in a relationship will make me happier. To be honest, I wouldn't even call being with my FI a happier state, it's just different. I was happy then, I am happy now. Just different kinds of happiness and different people to share that happiness with :)
I wasnt 'happy' about being single, but honestly I never was single for all that long. My opinion of the dating field was that it was a means to an ends ie: look for traits I liked in some people and learn to avoid the traits that I disliked. That said, I was never really happy dating any of those guys either...
until I met FI.
i was perfectly happy being single dating when i felt like it and just doing whatever i wanted - in fact when i met FH i was on a hiatus from guys period - after my last damaging relationship i realized i had to be happy being alone before i could be truly happy with anyone else, so i did, and like they say in the movies, love finds you when you stop looking.
but honestly i was very happy single. and just as happy with FH now, just different happy :) lol
I really hated being single. Part of that might be that I was in high school at the time lol. But seriously I hated it. I wasn't one of those people that HAD to be in a relationship though, I was comfortable being alone just not really happy about it.
I'm a military brat so I don't have the lifelong friends that most have. I mostly make friends with guys (it is hard to find girls that want to geek out about computers and play Halo 3 and MW2 with me) so being single was never super fun for me. I didn't have that group of girlfriends to hang out with and go out and party with.
Sure I could hang out with my guy friends but inevitably either they'd get interested in me, I'd get interested in them, or they'd start dating someone that didn't appreciate us hanging out together (which I totally understand). That cycle got draining, quickly.
Yes. LOVED it. I could do whatever I wanted, eat candy for dinner if I felt like it, didn't have to go visit anyone's family for the weekend, didn't have to shave, etc.
Before I met FI, I had a crazy summer where I dated no less than 3 guys at a time. Each one who brought up a relationship got the "I'm not ready" speech from me. Then I met FI and suddenly I WAS ready!
I obviously love being in a relationship and can't wait to be married, but I did love the freedom.
I loved being single. I wished I had a few more friends (most of mine lived on the other coast during my most recent single period) and more sex, but other than that, being single was pretty awesome. I could date and flirt with lots of people with no guilt, and no one left dirty dishes in my sink. I was really looking for more casual relationships when I met my partner - but now that I'm with him there's no going back. I love having him around!
I loved being single in my early 20's. Being single and carefree was amazing at that point of my life. Now I am 28 and I have never been happier, engaged to the love of my life. I look forward to every stage in my life. And the most important thing is to never wish away your life.
I made one of the most important decisions of my life when, at about age 18 or 19, I decided to take a break of indeterminate length from dating and relationships. I was imagining about six months at the outset, but it stretched into 4.5 years, and while I've never known happiness like I do with my FI, I still point to those years as some of the best of my life. I wasn't struggling at all, in fact I turned down a few opportunities to date a few guys; instead, I loved being content with myself and my friends and my life. I actually felt like the string of long-term relationships I'd been in from age 15 up to that point were the struggle; the end always felt like the end of the world, and keeping them going felt like the most draining and important task of my life. I just had the most unbelievably wonderful group of friends in college and I'd never have wanted guy troubles to have marred that era of my happiness and growth, as I grew into the confident and self-assured person that my FI met when I was 23.
(In the process, I actually had to content myself, one hundred percent, with the vision of being single for the rest of my life - if I hadn't done that, then I know I would have been struggling and resisting the time off, as I would have felt I was wasting my opportunity to find someone. In retrospect, I can't even imagine my life without the love I have with FI, but it was crucial to me to have lived a few years content and at peace with the idea of never meeting that magic someone.)
I actually loved being single. After college I had my first apartment, came and went when I wanted and spent tons of time with family and friends. I was out every night, and dated more than one guy at once sometimes. All the money I made was mine to spend on shoes, travel, hair care, basically whatever I wanted aside from rent and my cell phone. I am very happy that I had that time because I got to experience such freedom, growth and learning about myself. I wouldn't want to go back now because I've changed since then and I have a wonderful life with FI, but I certainly wouldn't trade it.
That was a fun time! I dated/seen who ever i wanted but of course that gets old and its time for bigger and better things like a hubby : )
I was always content to be single. I wasn't planning on meeting DH or having a serious relationship in college. I didn't enjoy being single in the whole dates+make out+have fun sense, but I have no problem NOT being in a relationship if that makes sense. I hated hearing people whine about not having a boyfriend...I just don't see how you couldn't just enjoy yourself and your own life without all that drama =]
I am happy being married but if I was single, I don't think i'd be pining away for a husband for quite a few more years.
I loved being single. In fact, I was single for 6 years before I started dating my BF. I just wasn't worried about having a bf. I dated guys occasionally, but if I wasn't dating someone, I wasn't out looking or anything. It was a lot less stressful being single. I didn't have to plan my life around someone, so I had a lot more freedom. For example, my BF and I are graduating from law school next May, and we have to agree on where to apply for jobs and where to take the bar. If I was single, I'd just pick a place where I would want to live and go. BF is a lot more risk adverse than I am though, so that's just not an option. That being said, I'm perfectly happy in my relationship. There's pros and cons for both I guess. :)
I liked being single for the most part. I got a bit lonely once in a while, but I also learned to be very independent. I lived alone for 8 years, I traveled several times a year, and I did whatever I wanted. It was fun.
I like what @prettyflowers said. I had fun, but it's not at all like the fun I'm having now!
I did not like being single, but to be honest I was not single for very long. From 15-21 I was not single one day... literally broke up with one guy for another for another for another.... I was a serial monogomist. The last relationship lasted almost 5 years and when it ended it totally knocked me on my ass. I was distraught, and totally broken. It was only about 3-4 months before I started dating again (supposed to be "just for fun" to get my mind off things but the 2nd guy I went out with turned out to be FI!).
So.... I guess I've only really been single a few months and I was miserable because I was heartbroken. Also, because I've always been in a serious relationship I really don't have as many close friends as other people do, so I was kind of bored and lonely.
@minutiae - OMW are you my life twin!?
I love love loved being single. At least the time before I started seeing J I did. Before that was 3 1/2 years with my crazy abusive ex, and before that I jumped from relationship to relationship because I was so afraid to be alone. After Crazy Ex and I broke up though, I realized that even if it was scary in some ways, being single was WAY better than being with someone like that. And then the longer that I was single, really for the first time since I was 14 (I'm telling you - jumped from relationship to relationship), I started to realize more and more just how much I liked it.
I loved being single!
It was hard when J came along, because I knew that if I'd ever find someone to spend my whole life with, this was it, and because of the distance it wasn't something I could do halfway - it had to start serious or it wouldn't have made it, and I would have lost it.
With the distance, I've managed to retain some aspects of being single, but it's really not the same. Sometimes I miss it - but that doesn't mean that I love him any less.
I kind of think of it as loving lasagna and loving thai food - I love them both! But I wouldn't want them at the same time. And if I had to choose between them, choosing wouldn't make me love the other one less. I loved being single, but I also love J. And I couldn't have it both ways, so I picked the one where I saw more potential for growth, knowing that I could always back out if it didn't work out how I wanted. But it did, so no worries!
I didn't mind being single. I had a great time dating different guys and managed to learn a lot about myself when I was single vs. being dependant on a guy like I was when I was in relationships.
I still believe that I never would have been in the right place to meet my FI if I hadn't been 100% ok with being single at the time. I think a lot of girls get really focused on "OMG I have to have a boyfriend or I will just die a miserable sad death!" and so they jump around from boy to boy and fixate on ones that aren't good for them just so they have SOMEONE. I think if you're ok with being single, you don't do that, and so you can go about dating a little bit more relaxed and with the perspective that if it's not working out, you can walk away and find something better. I did that until I found my FI, and then I stopped looking because I knew that I'd found the best that I could possibly find.
50/50... there were definitely moments after my first heart break (high school) that i hated being alone... but then i got to college in california and i didn't care about boyfriends or even boys for that matter! freshman year i had fun traveling with my girls and dating nonchalantly here and there, but enjoyed the cali sun all on my own :)
and again... after my big breakup with on/off again college bf of 4 years... i LOVED being single... obvi bcuz i had been stifled in a relationship for so long. i think it was easier to cope bcuz i was the one that ended things.
I LOVED being single. It’s funny, because both FH and I are really independent people – definitely not serial monogamists. We like our alone time, and we like it A LOT. He’s the only person that I love spending everyday/night with, and he says the same about me.
Being single was fun – I’d go out with my girlfriends Friday night, go on dates whenever, but have lots of time to myself. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted. I had time to try out new things, and learn a lot about myself, and learn to be content by myself.
I love living with FH (obviously), but living alone was awesome.
I think I am of the same disposition now as a married person as I was when I was single. That is to say, mostly anxious, but also happy. I was just anxious or happy about different things, but I think I felt about the same either way.
I've always been in love with love :) I never had a boyfriend before FI (started dating him at 19), so I romanticized the idea of being with someone. I think if I had had some other relationships before, I would have enjoyed being single, but I had no idea what I was missing out on, which made me want it even more, if that makes sense.
Now that I'm with FI, I do sometimes think wistfully about the single life, but what we have is definitely better.
I was only single under the age of 14, so I never experienced single life drinking, etc. I will admit that there are times when it would have been easier to be single on girls' nights, etc, but it never was something that would have been better in my mind.
I have to admit, I was only single for about a year. I was in a relationship from 15 to 20 and then I met FI when I was 21, but when I was single I enjoyed it somewhat. I didn't like the casual dating thing, but I did enjoy the nights out and during that time I really discovered myself and what I wanted out of life. I wouldn't trade that time for the world because I think it was important but I didn't enjoy all of it. So like the PP I think it was like a 50/50 I wwas happy with some of the things about singledom but not all of them.
I love my life now and I'm very happy, but I loved being single too! I liked being independant and going where I wanted when I wanted without having to worry about anyone elses feelings. I also didn't spend my single time looking for a man. I had boyfriends and dalliances and enjoyed myself plenty, but I really let it all come to me. I think that's why FI and I worked so well. We were both really sure of ourselves and what we wanted out of life and that's why we are such a good match. Sometimes I miss it, but not often and not for long. I wouldn't give up a minute of what I have now.
I am a posterchild for serial monogamist. With a string of back-to-back 2ish yr relationships (4 of them) and 2 3-yr relationships, that gives me about 14 yrs worth of coupledom in my 15 yrs of dating. While I always had a blast party-ing it up with my friends when I was sinlge (and oops, sometimes acting single when I wasn't...), I obviously STRONGLY preferred being in a relationship.
I liked being single only when I wasn't being rejected by someone I was interested in. Unfortunately, I was rejected a lot. That's the long and short of it.
Now that my wedding is fast approaching, I'm having my share of "grass is greener" moments, but I have so much fun with my fiance even when we're just goofing around at the end of a long work day, watching Family Guy and collapsing on the couch. I remember when I was single, I'd come home from work or class and, even though I had my whole place to myself, I was often just lonely. I wanted, above all else, companionship. That meant more to me than the excitement of a hookup or a crush. I guess you could call me a serial monogamist, although I was only in two relationships before I met my fiance. The first was my very first boyfriend EVER (at age 19, haha, and he was even my first kiss, and the first time a guy held my hand), so that was clouded by utter ecstasy at being in a relationship. It crashed and burned in a spectacular way. My next relationship was a drawn out long distance relationship that ended amicably because of circumstances. And now, here I am, happy and not lonely anymore. :)
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