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Although I sucked it up pretty well, I hated being single. I totally prefer coupledom to singledom, I don't mind the compromises that come along with it. I was actulaly only single for about 4 years of my life, but it was from 22-26 so when I finally got together with FI after that long gap I appreciated him SOO much!
Hmm....yes I did. I liked the idea of being single because I've always been independent and never really dated much. Imagine my shock when all of a sudden (and it was all of a sudden) I found myself inseperable from my FI. It's pretty awesome!
wow so many replies! :)
pretty diverse replies too. I just wanted to come back in and add to my original post.
As I first stated (and the reason for this question)...I honestly HATED being single. But I was never in an actual "long term relationship" with anyone until I met my husband. When I was in high school I dated a boy for 6 months - and that was the longest relationship I had had that was an actual "boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship before DH.
I did live with a guy "friends with benefits" for about a year - he was a really good guy - but we had a sort of open relationship - specially since we were NOT boyfriend/girlfriend. The story behind it is sorta long - won't go into it - but i really liked him a lot - he was a good guy - and we parted on good terms - just moved on when the lease was up and we moved out. I heard from him last year and he's married with a kid and happy now. :)
but really those two were my longest "relationships" during my years before DH.
And ya gotta know - I didn't meet DH til I was 28.
I had way too many shares of meeting a guy - getting involved - and getting heart broken within 2 months (at the longest, lol) - so I should have gotten to the point where I LOVED being single...but I always hated it.
I did jump around / date around - but dates rarely lasted more than 2 or 3 - and a lot of times it WAS because I saw nothing in the person for what I was looking for.
so anyways - got a meeting right now. but i'm loving these answers!
Being single definitely has its ups and downs! I was in a long relationship from age 16-22. We broke up right before college graduation and I proceeded to basically be "single" for the next 5 years! I have to say that I definitely spent those years partying it up, doing what I wanted when I wanted with who i wanted LOL. I dated a LOT and went on tons of vacations with my friends. I really think I grew as a person and developed into a very independent woman (I bought my first house at age 26)! I also didn't have to answer to anyone, and I have to admit i LOVE living alone.
Now that I'm engaged and older, I don't wish I was out barhopping on the weekends and getting drunk and meeting people. I did that, had fun, and I'm much happier just chilling with FI now! I'm really glad that I did get that experience though and I know that I'll never imagine "what ifs". I truly think I got the full single girl experience!
On a side note, FI is moving in this weekend and it's going to be a huge adjustment for me!! :)
This is a great question!
I've had a few longish term boyfriends before my FI (I'm considering anything over 6 months longish) and dated 3 guys formally for much longer since my dating life started at 17. I also had a really odd relationship with someone that was on again off again for 3 years in university. I knew my FI for 8 1/2 years before we started dating and I was 28 when we started seeing each other. We were good friends and he saw me deal with coupledom, singledom, and weird-relationshipdom.
I went through periods of liking being single, but it was never "sex in the city" for me. Most of my girlfriends were in serious relationships and/or married and I was often sad. After my last serious relationship before the FI ended, I decided that I needed to face the fact that I could be single forever and I had to get to a place where I was okay with that. I'm not sure that I ever got there...because I knew that if, on the day I die, I looked back on my life and didn't see a husband, family, children, etc, it would be a disappointment for me.
The FI and I started dating 6 months or so after the last relationship ended. It was a shock to both of us, after being friends for so long. I can say with all honesty that because of all the crap and crazy I had to deal with before, I appreciate him even more. He is truly the love of my life...and because running through the gauntlet of relationship disasters and heart break led to him and helped make me the person I am today at 30, I am grateful for the experiences.
I loved being single... I was never much of a dater and I really enjoyed hanging out with my friends and doing whatever I wanted. I always figured that there would be time to date later.
But that's the amazing thing about my fiance. I was perfectly happy being a single gal and he came along and now I can't imagine not being with him!
I loved it! I was very much in control of my own destiny. Even with dating - I broke it off with relationshippy guys b/c it just wouldn't have felt genuine. I changed my mind when I met my now husband, though. I guess I just feel that if you can't be completely yourself, or with the right person so you are your best self with them, then it's not worth the time and trouble. you only live once!
I loved being single! I was single from 20 to 27, so I had some of the best years to be single- dating lots of men, sometimes at the same time, traveling out of the country, just becoming the woman I am today.
I was, and still am, the type of woman who gets irritated by women who say they can't be alone. I have only met one man worth my time to be in a relationship with, my current SO. I'd always rather have been alone, than with someone just for the sake of not being single.
I always tell my younger cousins to enjoy being single. You won't be forever and you'll miss living alone! When else can you just not care how things look in your apartment?LMAO
I didn't really like being single, but thankfully I didn't have to endure it for long. I was 19 when I met FI and it was my first long term relationship (read: longer than 3 months).
It seems like a lot of the ladies who liked being single made conscious choices that they wanted to be single for whatever reason. I really admire them for taking charge of their destiny like that and taking a positive view of their situation.
It wasn't like that for me. I felt like the reason I was single was because no one wanted me. Every high school dance when I had to go with girlfriends or ask a guy to go with me "as a friend" and stand around during couples dances, was painful, and emphasized to me the fact that no one wanted to date me. I was always looking for someone to affirm to me that I was attractive and loveable. I worried about whether I was "open" enough, whether I even knew how to flirt, and eventually kind of gave up. Maybe it wasn't healthy of me that I felt this way, but it's the truth.
So I didn't like being single. There were some good moments, like when I felt pursued by a guy I didn't want to date, but was flattered by the attention. I ended up really throwing myself into school and activities. Maybe if I'd had a boyfriend I wouldn't have achieved so much. I wasn't miserable the whole time or anything, but being single, in and of itself, was no fun for me.
Goodness no! I hated it too. I am one of those girls who has to be in a relationship. I can't believe I am actually admitting it, but it was true. I would stay in a crappy relationship bc I couldn't stand the idea of being alone. I met my FI when I was single for the first time in 8 years. I didn't want a relationship, but somehow it turned into the best thing that has ever happened to me
I loved being single. I am engaged, but I'm still kinda living the single life (minus the gaggles of men). I'm in a LDR. After I get off the phone with him, I meet my gfs for drinks. If I want to work 60 hours a week, I can... he's always just a phone call away. I have no one to report to or check-in with. My plans are my plans... always.
Now, after almost 4 years of living in different countries, I'm tired of it. I can't wait to be married so I can see my FH every day. So I can have someone to cuddle with & do nothing with. I'm tired of being an engaged "single" woman!
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