Post # 1
We were able to invite our families and close friends to our wedding. But really we only had enough room for very close friends (and no coworkers). So there were some people whose weddings we attended who we hadn’t been in contact as frequently (because we moved) and we didn’t end up inviting. No one completely threw a fit or said anything to our face or that got back to us, but a couple people definately had their behavior change towards us to be a lot more distant and brief than they ever were before.
Anyone else lose some kinda friends over wedding invitations?
Post # 3
Not yet but I guess we’ll find out!
Post # 4
A friend of mine was recently afraid something like this would happen at her daughter’s wedding which had a very small guest list. She lucked out that everyone still thinks the world of her after the fact. Don’t people realize that weddings are expensive first of all? Not everyone wants to invite everyone they have ever met or whom they may be related to, even if they could afford to. But there is absolutely no reason to get that upset over it to the point where the friendship is severed. If someone does get that upset, they weren’t much of a friend to begin with.
Post # 5
Yeah I agree, the people who have seemed uncomfortable with us are people who invited to our wedding and we didn’t reciprocate. These were mainly people from an old work place who we still keep in touch with and see once in awhile. Ah well, I guess it is sort of a judgement on the level of friendship but at the same time none of these people should have thought we’re bffs, we were kinda occassional friends.
But even our roommate (yeah we’re married and have a roommate), who was only roommates with us for a month before the wedding told someone he was offended he wasn’t invited – we didn’t really know him before he moved in, just knew he was getting a job at the same place and was a good guy and rents high here so gave him a place to stay. He doesn’t hold a grudge but jeesh, why he would have been offended I have no idea.
Post # 6
We lost one friend when we tried to explain our situation and she just didn’t get it. She doesn’t understand the logistics and emotions involved with a wedding, and basically told us to have a nice f* life.
That right there told me it was the right choice not to invite her.
Post # 7
We got this a bit from a few people who weren’t invited to our wedding, but it wasn’t anything that kept me awake at night. We don’t even see them that often anyway. They’re not engaged or married, so we just told ourselves that if/when they’re planning a wedding someday they’ll understand where we were coming from.
Post # 8
OMG yes! a “friend” who I went to college with and had not been in contact with for over 5 years de-friended me and my husband on facebook after she wasn’t invited to our wedding. my mom babysat her kids for a couple of months before the wedding and she fired my mom after we got married! she was so crazy…and in her explaination as to why she fired my mom she put in a bunch of BS and said she thought she was going to be invited because we were so close…wth!?!?!?!?!
Post # 9
I have the reverse. My family was invited by the mother of a girl I was friends with back in kindergarden. I didn’t stay close to the girl, but our mothers did. So we were invited to the girl’s wedding and we couldn’t go. The girl’s mom never called my mom to say happy bday or called her again. We were all shocked and sadden by that because I mean really just because we didn’t show. The girl didn’t care either way she got married and was happy, but adults show act like adults.
Post # 10
We haven’t had the wedding yet, but I do have one POed friend. Thing is, I actually totally understand. We’re not inviting her only because she is an ex-girlfriend of a groomsman, and he is being as ass about it. We would invite her if he wasn’t being a jerk. My only hope is that he will invite her as his date (they still, um, “see” eachother off and on), and I can then patch it up with her afterwards. We’re too old for this crud. *sigh*
Post # 11
I’m paranoid that I’ll forget someone for this very reason. I’m going to spend a lot of time drafting the list to make sure I don’t leave anyone out. But of course I won’t invite people I haven’t seen for 5 years. If they haven’t contacted me, I woudln’t feel guilty.
My big fear is that not inviting someone to be a bridesmaid will result in hard feelings. (She’s my future sister in law.) It seems like drama is hard to avoid, even in the most laid-back brides.
Post # 12
I anticipate kind of the opposite happening….When my college friends don’t think it’s worth their time to come to the wedding, I’ll be a lot more distant from them, even more than I already am. We’ve been growing apart since graduation and they haven’t put any effort into the relationship. The wedding would require travel for them, so maybe I wouldn’t feel as bad if they sent a card and present, but it’s not the same.
I hope that some of the people who might get offended from not being invited would not have been able to come anyway because of traveling to my hometown. That might lessen the blow.
Post # 13
I’m very worried about this! I have a HUGE family and our venue has limited space, so I have to move some family and friends to the B-list and they may not be invited at all. I’d like to include everyone, but space and money constraints won’t allow for it. I hope no one takes it too hard!
Post # 14
Since we haven’t sent out any STDs yet, we haven’t quite experienced it yet. But once ppl hear about it they immediately say oh I would love to come!!! and I’m thinking omg no please don’t say this to me because I will feel super bad when I can’t invite you. My mom already has a big list and we have a big family as it is. Not counting friends.
Post # 15
I kinda put it out there that we were very limited on who we couldnt invite due to financal reasons but we shal see when the day comes. oh well i have a few girlfriends that i adore and that are going if anyone else is mad at me they dont have to talk to me and thats good for me less parties i have to attend lol
Post # 16
I think people should commend you for trying to keep your wedding special for YOU, not whine if they don’t get an invitation. It sounds cliche, but if they’re friends, they’ll understand.
Case in point — my boyfriend is going with his parents and siblings to a wedding of a mutal friend in a few weeks. I’m not invited (mainly because we’re not formally engaged. I told him I wouldn’t mind going with a ring on haha!) and I would rather have her be able to have family and closer friends there than me, who she’s friends with, but only recently. While I am disappointed that I can’t go, I really understand, especially since I will (hopefully!) be in this situation in the near future.
I really think that the people who get upset have not planned a wedding recently, so they just have no idea how much things cost.