Did you lose any friends because you didn’t invite them to your wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Did you lose friends over wedding invitations?
    Yes, some people expressed anger to us : (6 votes)
    13 %
    No one said anything but some acted differently towards us : (16 votes)
    36 %
    No one seemed to harbor any resentment : (20 votes)
    44 %
    It's Friday, who cares! : (3 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Not yet but I guess we’ll find out! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    A friend of mine was recently afraid something like this would happen at her daughter’s wedding which had a very small guest list. She lucked out that everyone still thinks the world of her after the fact. Don’t people realize that weddings are expensive first of all? Not everyone wants to invite everyone they have ever met or whom they may be related to, even if they could afford to. But there is absolutely no reason to get that upset over it to the point where the friendship is severed. If someone does get that upset, they weren’t much of a friend to begin with.

    Post # 6
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    We lost one friend when we tried to explain our situation and she just didn’t get it.  She doesn’t understand the logistics and emotions involved with a wedding, and basically told us to have a nice f* life.

    That right there told me it was the right choice not to invite her.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We got this a bit from a few people who weren’t invited to our wedding, but it wasn’t anything that kept me awake at night. We don’t even see them that often anyway. They’re not engaged or married, so we just told ourselves that if/when they’re planning a wedding someday they’ll understand where we were coming from. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    OMG yes! a “friend” who I went to college with and had not been in contact with for over 5 years de-friended me and my husband on facebook after she wasn’t invited to our wedding.  my mom babysat her kids for a couple of months before the wedding and she fired my mom after we got married! she was so crazy…and in her explaination as to why she fired my mom she put in a bunch of BS and said she thought she was going to be invited because we were so close…wth!?!?!?!?!

    Post # 9
    Member
    604 posts
    Busy bee

    I have the reverse. My family was invited by the mother of a girl I was friends with back in kindergarden. I didn’t stay close to the girl, but our mothers did. So we were invited to the girl’s wedding and we couldn’t go. The girl’s mom never called my mom to say happy bday or called her again. We were all shocked and sadden by that because I mean really just because we didn’t show. The girl didn’t care either way she got married and was happy, but adults show act like adults.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2208 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We haven’t had the wedding yet, but I do have one POed friend. Thing is, I actually totally understand. We’re not inviting her only because she is an ex-girlfriend of a groomsman, and he is being as ass about it. We would invite her if he wasn’t being a jerk. My only hope is that he will invite her as his date (they still, um, “see” eachother off and on), and I can then patch it up with her afterwards. We’re too old for this crud. *sigh*

    Post # 11
    Member
    673 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m paranoid that I’ll forget someone for this very reason. I’m going to spend a lot of time drafting the list to make sure I don’t leave anyone out. But of course I won’t invite people I haven’t seen for 5 years. If they haven’t contacted me, I woudln’t feel guilty.

    My big fear is that not inviting someone to be a bridesmaid will result in hard feelings. (She’s my future sister in law.) It seems like drama is hard to avoid, even in the most laid-back brides.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    583 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I anticipate kind of the opposite happening….When my college friends don’t think it’s worth their time to come to the wedding, I’ll be a lot more distant from them, even more than I already am. We’ve been growing apart since graduation and they haven’t put any effort into the relationship. The wedding would require travel for them, so maybe I wouldn’t feel as bad if they sent a card and present, but it’s not the same.

    I hope that some of the people who might get offended from not being invited would not have been able to come anyway because of traveling to my hometown. That might lessen the blow.

    Post # 13
    Member
    695 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m very worried about this! I have a HUGE family and our venue has limited space, so I have to move some family and friends to the B-list and they may not be invited at all. I’d like to include everyone, but space and money constraints won’t allow for it. I hope no one takes it too hard!

    Post # 14
    Member
    199 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Since we haven’t sent out any STDs yet, we haven’t quite experienced it yet. But once ppl hear about it they immediately say oh I would love to come!!! and I’m thinking omg no please don’t say this to me because I will feel super bad when I can’t invite you. My mom already has a big list and we have a big family as it is. Not counting friends.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1545 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I kinda put it out there that we were very limited on who we couldnt invite due to financal reasons but we shal see when the day comes. oh well i have a few girlfriends that i adore and that are going if anyone else is mad at me they dont have to talk to me and thats good for me less parties i have to attend lol

    Post # 16
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    I think people should commend you for trying to keep your wedding special for YOU, not whine if they don’t get an invitation.  It sounds cliche, but if they’re friends, they’ll understand. 

    Case in point — my boyfriend is going with his parents and siblings to a wedding of a mutal friend in a few weeks.  I’m not invited (mainly because we’re not formally engaged.  I told him I wouldn’t mind going with a ring on haha!) and I would rather have her be able to have family and closer friends there than me, who she’s friends with, but only recently.  While I am disappointed that I can’t go, I really understand, especially since I will (hopefully!) be in this situation in the near future.

    I really think that the people who get upset have not planned a wedding recently, so they just have no idea how much things cost.

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