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This topic came up on another thread and I was curious to know if anyone else didnt get an engagement party or bridal shower?
I have been engaged for over year already with absolutely no love from my family or friends. I have even tried to hint how much I would love an engagment party or bridal shower with no responses from them.
I wonder how common this is....
Anyone else feel left out? :(
We didn't get an engagement party and I highly doubt I'm going to get a bridal shower either (family not that into wedding planning). However I am getting a kick ass bachelorette party from my lovely friends so I guess that helps a bit.
We didn't most people are out of town and it would be hard to organize this and so when I was asked I said that I didn't want one because I thought it was asking too much of my friends to travel for an E-party and a wedding in the same year!
It never occurred to me to want an engagement party. None of my friends who've been married had one or asked for one. I don't think it's as customary as a bridal shower or bachelorette party. What's the point?
We did not have an engagement party - FI's whole family lives in MI, mine live in PA so it didn't really make sense. We are having 2 showers though, so to me that totally makes up for it!
Since my DH and I lived in another state, we didn't get an engagement party or a bridal shower. That kinda stunk, but we tried to make up for it by hosting a really nice rehearsal dinner for everyone.
Weddings around here are a big deal. Whenever someone gets engaged/married its always a big to do. I am the last one of my friends to get married and have been engaged for a year already.. I threw all the parties for my friends, but no one is returning the favor. I am totally not trying to sound selfish or whiny, just feeling a little shunned.
The topic came up in another thread, Just curious.
My fiance's family would ahve planned one (they surprised his brother with one when they got married)..but we told them we didnt' want one...we didn't want people spending the money traveling if they were going to just have to do it again for the wedding...Bridal Shower..yes! My bridal party is putting that together!
we didn't have an e-party, but my mom planned an e-dinner. Just his immediate family and mine....nothing too extravagant, just at a nice restaurant and a way for the 2 families to "celebrate" our engagement. it was a year after our engagement, but whatevs.
i'm sorry you are feeling like this, maybe you and your FI could just organize a laid back dinner/brunch of sorts yourselves? nothing big. i bet you'll be surprised how many people would be excited and on board! Maybe its just the "planning" and expectations of a big party that is swaying your fam/friends from throwing you one. (?)
((( HUGS )))
We didn't have an engagement party, and no plans for a bridal shower either. With everyone spread so far across the country, it just wasn't practical. It does make me a little sad, but I completely understand why. My FI's cousin and sister did take us out to lunch after we got engaged though, so at least that was nice.
We did, but I know plenty of people who never had one. I come from a huge Italian family and I am the only girl so my family went a little more overboard than most.
No engagement party here! It's actually not very common around these parts...I had never heard of engagement parties until I joined weddingbee!
I was a little surprised to read "get" an engagement party? I didn't think it was something someone was supposed to through for you! We didn't have one since both of our families and ALL of our closest friends live in different states. I only know a handful of people that had proper engagement parties (more than just friends meeting up at a bar one night), and they were all self-hosted.
We didn't have or want an engagement party. I probably won't have a bridal shower either and I'm completely fine with that.
Isn't an engagement party something you throw for yourself anyway?
Too me it wasn't a big deal. I didn't want one. I'm not a big fan of wedding showers and my engagement wasn't very long. I don't really understand the point of an engagement party I guess. It's good to celebrate, but why not have a huge public celebration down the road...like a wedding?
I was a little sad actually imagining that we probably wouldn't get one since our friends don't know much about wedding planning, plus we're on the opposite side of the country from our really close friends. Out of nowhere, my best friend (who is on this side of the country, thank goodness) threw us a surprise engagement party. It was so touching, she put together a slideshow of photos of us together, some sweet and some embarrassing and hilarious, and she and a couple of other folks made toasts. We even got a couple of small gifts, which was very sweet. I hadn't given her enough credit! (Psst, I think the "How To Be A Bridesmaid" book she bought helped a lot with this sort of thing!)
roxy thats funny you should mention heritage :) I too am from a huge italian family and I am the only daughter.
I always heard that the families throw the engagement party to celebrate and get together with the other side of the family. I could be wrong.
we didn't have an engagement party and that was fine, but from what you're saying, engagement parties are kind of the norm in your circle and in your area. for that reason, especially after you've planned other engagement parties, i can see why you're feeling a bit sad.
if no one is stepping up the plate, though, and you want one, how would you feel about throwing one yourself? i know it won't be the same, but i bet you would throw a fabulous party!
for etiquette's sake you could call it a pre-wedding celebration where people get to know each other so you don't have to say you're hosting your own engagement party (although i think that's legit if you're comfortable with it).
We didn't get one but we did want one. I was even going to throw it for us (so our extended family could meet) but my mom refused since none of my cousins had an engagement party.
I still wish we did, 10 months after our engagement.
I wish we had thrown one for ourselves! We didn't want gifts or anything, but at the time we were looking at over a 2 1/2 year engagement and would've loved to bring our friends together to celebrate. Now that we're staring down a wedding date about 8 months away it feels like less of a big deal though!
I don't expect an engagement party. We might go out to dinner with his side of the family, but my side doesn't really do parties/celebrations.
Even if we organized it ourselves, I doubt they'd show. Ah well.
no engagement party or bridal shower and i never even gave it a thought - not my style
I think as a little girl I always envisioned this big to do when a girl gets proposed too. At least where I am from, its a big deal. All my family and his family are all together in one state, so I guess I kind of expected it.
I dont want to say anything to family or friends because I dont want to sound selfish.
To answer the questions about throwing my own party, Its kind of looked at to be a family thrown event around here. I dont know how my family would feel about me throwing it
I definitely never had an engagement party but I will be having a bridal shower, even if I've got to plan the thing myself!!
we didn't have an engagement party... although we moved into our new house and several small 'housewarming' gettogethers that probably sufficed the lack of an e-party.
my MOH is throwing me a bridal shower, but i'm helping her plan a lot of it. nothing fancy, just a quiet gettogether at our house, with tons of food and good times with friends and family! ;)
My parents threw us an engagement party (at my coaxing) but only a few people came. I was kind of bummed since we held it at our house so people could come see it. But, I really appreciated those who did come, and we had a ton of beer left over, so I guess that was good.
Maybe part of the issue is that the OP's wedding is still over a year away? Maybe when things get under a year they'll throw and engagement party? And most bridal/wedding showers happen the last few months leading up to the wedding so you still have tons of time!
my MOH promised me an engagement party and then never organized one. she's skipped out on a lot of duties thus far (like overlseeping on the day she promised to go dress shopping with me at Kleinfeld!). not happy. :(
I didn't get one. At the time, I didn't want one, but now it sounds like fun!
Neither of my brother's had E-parties, but my Mom/Step Dad threw us one about 3 months after we were engaged (I'm the youngest/only girl...) It was at their house and they sort of went all out--tent/catering/musician etc. Think mini wedding--cake and all. It was semi out of control--but if you knew my mother you would just shake your head and laugh (think Martha Stewart on Crack--she really can't help herself.) We are having a destination wedding to Ireland and I was VERY clear that we would only be inviting family and close friends (ie. no random friends of my parents I've never met etc). I think I crushed their dreams of inviting random neighbor #3 to the real deal so they considered the E-party their chance to invite all of those friends to celebrate (230948 of their friend's children have gotten married over the last few years--so they considered this 'their turn' to repay the invite.) I think there ended up being around 80-90 people there (my wedding will have 40). We had people fly in from all coasts--but that was NOT expected since my BFF's live in other states and they are flying to IE-- but they wanted to come and check out one of my crazy mothers parties (they have been hearing about them since college). I will say it was a lot of fun--but I spent WAY too much time talking to my Step Dad's random tennis partners and neighbors and not enough with my BFF's--something that will NOT happen at the wedding!
What if you just casually drop something to your family about having an eparty? Ie. maybe when it is warm we can have a get together to celebrate the Engagement. Who knows maybe they will take it and run with it?? Mine originated from me saying 'well I guess you'll need to me FI's family sometime before the wedding (they live in AZ/CA we are in MD/DC)' then a few days later Mom came back w/ 'lets have an eparty...'
We didn't, and actually I had never even heard of them until like a year ago when some friends of ours got engaged and had one. When we got engaged, some friends of ours had a surprise cake for us one night that we all hung out, another set of friends cooked us an amazing dinner, and his parents had a BBQ with all their neighbors and friends, so I don't know if those count. I hope nobody takes personal offense to this, but I think a formal party with gifts and stuff is kinda tacky. Seriously it's not enough that I have to get you a wedding gift and a shower gift but now an engagement gift too?! Geez.
We didn't get one, which sucks but I also didnt' get a bachelorette party either. Hubs got a bachelor party and had a great time til I went to pick him and my drunk brother up and I almost had to remove my brother from the wedding (long story there). I'm bummed we didn't get an engagement party, but what can we do now? we may just throw ourselves an anniversary party instead!!
well i did... but i had never been to one before. engagement parties aren't very common around here, so i don't think i would have been too upset if we didn't get one. it was just a nice surprise.
Neither. We had a very small intimate wedding and well I am just not into that type of thing. We had a small get togethor at a bar right after we got engaged and that is all we cared to do. As far as your bridal shower....it says you are getting married in April 2011. Most showers dont take place until a month or so before the wedding after you registered and all that. So I would not expect a shower be thrown for you until closer to your date and this is usually done by your MOH, BM or family. If an E Party is that important, throw it yourself! No biggie! Honestly, where I am from, no one does them anymore.
I don't know anyone who has ever had an engagement party. I kind of assumed that many people didn't do that anymore. I wouldn't have wanted one, anyway.
My mother and friends will throw me a shower. But I'm kind of torn. Having a party for the sole purpose of getting presents makes me very uncomfortable.
When we first got engaged a couple people talked about it - but it never happened. I wanted to throw one, but money was tight and it never happened. We've been engaged for almost 6 months now with the wedding being 9 months away - so, I don't think it really makes sense to have one. I was really bummed out we didn't have one at first - but, now - I don't really care!
I didn't expect an engagement party at all. My fiance and I live far away from both our families. But when we went to visit my family in the summer, my aunt threw us a surprise party! it was so nice of her! Both my family and some of his family attended.
My aunt is also throwing me my bridal shower as well. She's the best :)
I did not have one... I had never been to one, so I didn't know it was a "thing" until I came here to weddingbee :)
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