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The only thing I would potentially change about my setting is adding more diamonds to the band (right now, there are 4 on each side). I would want to either add one or two more to each side, or have them go all the way around. FI and I have talked about it once or twice, he's very sentimental and doesn't want to change the ring at all--even though he originally wanted more stones on the band, but for whatever reason, the jeweler didn't add them. We'll see--maybe as an anniversary present or something! If we don't end up changing it though, that's fine with me too!
My engagement ring is a gift from my fiance--something that he chose all by himself. So why would I ever want to change it?
I picked out my setting. If FH had picked it out it would have been changed, we dont have the same tastes AT ALL!
We were talking about this the other day because one of his friends was going ring shopping with their mom. And i said OH NO! I hope she has shown him pictures! FH said he would have gotten me a solitare (which I guessed!) which is totally not me and totally him.
I picked out my setting, so I would never change it because I love it. If FI picked it out, I highly doubt I would change it (but who knows). He tends to be very sensitive about that sort of thing and I think it would hurt his feelings if he put a lot of effort into choosing something for me and I didn't like it. He knows my taste and would not pick out something hideous.
My ring is a family ring, my hubby's great grandma's. But the setting has been changed since then, my mil changed it into an engagement ring. She told me I could change it if I wanted, but i didn't want to. First of all, it's beautiful the way it is, and second of all I want to keep it in the family and have a nice vintage ring.
I wouldn't change it! But I did in fact choose my own ring!
I just got my ring setting changed. In my initial setting the band went inward as it got to the diamond and I didn't like the way a wedding band looked with it. I talked to my fiance about it and he was totally okay with it. I think it was a nice compromise between mine and his tastes because he had picked out the stone and the original band by himself, so now there is a bit of both of us in it. He actually loves this setting much more then the original!
I picked out my own setting so NO WAY! I love my current setting.
I wouldn't change mine for the world. If you'd asked me before I got it, I probably would've said I would consider it --- but the truth is that now I understand that this ring has so so so much significance. J went through a lot of trouble to pick it out, and I love that about it! Is it the ring I would've picked for myself? Nope (hah, I mean, I sent him a link to the one I wanted; his response? Not original enough if I pick it myself!) - but that's the point!
It's not a ring I bought myself. It's a ring he bought for me. That is enough to make me love it for eternity. The fact that he's got great taste doesn't hurt either. :)
I did change my setting (from classic 6-prong yellow gold solitaire to a rose gold halo setting. FH did not discuss rings with me prior to purchasing the ring, and I never hinted at what I wanted – we never discussed anything. The diamond he picked is lovely – great quality, very sparkly – but honestly, I really didn’t love the setting/width of band/etc. And I had always wanted a rose gold ring. I didn’t want to get a larger stone, just change the metal and the setting.
I don’t wear jewelry – like EVER. This ring, and my wedding band, will be the only item I wear everyday for the rest of my life.
I think it’s sweet to say it should only be the thought that counts, but it’s also jewelry, and jewelry I will look at every day. I didn’t need a ring to be engaged to him, but since I have one, I wanted it to be something I absolutely loved.
I talked to FH about it, and he said bottom line he wanted me to be happy. He was not sentimental in his purchase, or attached to the ring. So we changed it (I paid for the new setting, as it was my decision to change it).
hmm... I went with maybe. FI told me that he wouldn't mind if I wanted to "upgrade" my setting at some point (he is against upgrading center stones but not against upgrading settings... kind of funny). So I guess he maybe wouldn't care. Except that the only type of setting I'd prefer to my current setting would probably be the same cost or cheaper so its not really an upgrade heh. I love love love my ering but if I had picked it out all by myself the band would be a little thinner than it is. It is such a minor thing though I think the sentimentality of him having picked it far outweighs it not being EXACTLY what I had in my mind. But if I really didn't like the setting and he didn't mind, I would change it.
I had my ring custom made in platinum because I never want to change my engagement ring. My grandmother still has her original and I love that. The only think though is that FI picked the side stones by himself so that I wouldn't know when the process had been done and they are not the best quality. Since I have a perfect center stone it makes their imperfections stand out more. I love my ring by FI does want to upgrade the side stones to better quality stones in the future.
Okay, I'll go. I have a 6-prong solitaire like @gabrielleelise1981. While I am guilty for picking it out originally, I've actually changed my mind since it is set so high and gets in the way/bangs around a lot. While I did pick it out, I did not get to see it being set, so didn't realize how high it would end up. It actually scares me sometimes how much it bangs into things and i"m not even a clumsy person.
Because of this I do want to 'downgrade' to a 4 prong solitaire setting exactly like my current setting but with the diamond set much lower. I want DH to be involved because I want him to give input, I want him to like it.
@moderndaisy: I think you should talk to your FH about it – it’s a very practical issue you have – not a “I want a bigger diamond than you bought” issue. I don’t believe changing the setting for a practical purpose would hurt his feelings, especially since you are keeping the diamond and the same basic design. You are still using, and loving, the diamond he picked.
Good luck :)
My e-ring setting is really simple. I like it, but my FI would like to upgrade me sometime down the road. If he wants to for an anniversary or something, that is fine with me!
I think if I had practical concerns, like the ones you mention, I would consider it. Otherwise, no.
(And I'd be constantly terrified if my ring banged into things, too!)
@gabrielleelise1981: Yes, I have spoken to DH and he is totally supportive. He always wanted me to pick it out in the first place so it doesn't phase him that I want something different. I have a lot of friends who have changed their settings either to upgrade or because they didn't get to pick it out ahead of time so in our circle it's normal. For me, I obviously don't want an upgrade I just want the height changed so it won't even be noticable to most people.
Mine is currently in the shop!
It's a marquise and the prongs were flush with the bottom of the band - so when we went looking for wedding bands my only option was to get one with a notch. I wanted a straight band so I found a setting that would raise the stone and also fill in some of the space between the two rings so there wouldn't be a gap.
My FI didn't care because I'll have something I love (we didn't go ring shopping so he picked out my original setting solo). I didn't want to change my setting but I knew I wouldn't really like how it looked with a wedding band the way it was so I changed it.
I think if it's financially possible & your FI doesn't mind and won't be hurt then there's no problem with it.
Pretty much the first thing my fiance said about my ring was that we could have the band engraved, because he knew I liked the "antique look." He seems open to some changes, but he did design the setting. And I'm happy with it. I doubt I'll change it at this point in the game.
I absolutely ADORE the sapphire ring my FI gave me (small, simple, and very pretty). However, he's not that thrilled with it. He's insisting on having another one made that is FAR more elaborate and expensive by a jeweler he knows.
Who am I to argue? LOL!
I will be wearing the sapphire on my right hand after I get the one he wants designed, though, which he doesn't mind.
My fiancee picked out my engagement ring for me, I had absolutely no idea what it looked like prior to him giving it to me. I think he figured out what I liked based on the other type of jewelry I wore, nothing ostentatious but something pretty.
I would not change it for the world. It is incredible; simple, one diamond, and an interesting setting - the ring doesn't 'close' in a sense, one end goes above the diamond and the other end goes below.
It is probably going to be impossible to get a wedding band that will fit with it, but I don't care... he picked it for me and I love it. We will figure out the wedding band closer to the day and if they end up not fitting together, then I guess my rings just won't fit together!
It is off being resized right now and I miss having it on my finger so much! He guessed the size and it was almost perfect when I put it on, but after a month it started to feel too loose (likely because of the divets my finger developed from wearing it, ha).
While I love my ring and the fact that my husband picked it out for me, now that we're married and I have 2 rings, the band feels too thick and is uncomfortable to wear. My wedding band is much thinner and I hoped that would allow me to wear them together but it's so uncomfortable that I hardly ever wearing my engagement ring anymore. Eventually I will probably get the diamond reset onto a thinner band. I'm pretty sure DH prefers that to me never wearing it, especially since it's a matter of comfort and not looks.
I've batted around the idea of changing it. We'd never really discussed rings, so he tried to pick something based on an old email I sent once with a few rings I liked from the old jeweler I used to work for. I do like it, but of the rings I sent him it was the one I liked the least. If I'd known it would be used to pick my ering or having anything at all to do with getting engaged, I wouldn't have included it. I was just talking about rings I like in general.
Knowing he wanted to pick something I like, while he might initially feel a little disappointed that he didn't "get it right" the 1st time, I think he'd be OK changing it. I'm just afraid I'LL regret changing it!!
@moderndaisy: My story is so similar! I got to pick out my ring, too, but we bought the stone and setting separately, and now that they are together, it is not what I had envisioned. The pave on the band wears differently than I had imagined, so it almost always looks dirty, even directly after cleaning it. And the band on the side is built up really high, almost like a cathedral setting, and I hadn't really realizd how much it would stick out. I have mentioned to FI that these things bother me, but we haven't seriously discussed changing it. I feel bad because I picked it out in the first place! I am thinking maybe down the road for an anniversary or maybe even for our wedding since it will be two years since we got engaged. I don't know yet for sure how he feels about it. Since I picked it out, I don't know why he'd be attached to it, and honestly, he didn't even propose with it because it was still at the jewelers being set. The more and more I think about it, the more I'd like to get it reset and have him actually propose with it... It sort of defeats the symbolism if he didn't actually use it. Now I'm talking myself in circles here, but anyway, I can completely understand your situation, and especially since your husband understands the practicality of it, you should go for it!
@artbee: Mine is an heirloom aswell! Mine was FI great grandmothers and he thought i would want to change it, but i love it! I thought of lowering it at first, the setting is very high, but it hasnt bothered me at all!
I voted maybe, and heres why: my ring has a very thin tension/channel setting. I have had 2 stones fall out, and another be on the verge. Ive lost a stone (luckily I found the other and the jeweler is replacing the one we did loose). I LOVE my ring, and we are soddering bands on either side to try and help strengthen the setting. If it doesnt help, then I will seriously consider changing the setting. The stones have a ridge and basically snap into place currently, and its just not safe. So thats the only reason I would change it. Otherwise, I love it. You can see how thin the metal is around the stones in the pic.
we picked out the ring design together, so it's exactly what i wanted. however, i can understand the difficulty with a high setting. i LOVE the look of low settings, so made sure that the ring was set as low as possible. so, since you are only adjusting that part, i say go for it!
We picked out my ring together (after he proposed) so I was able to get exactly what i wanted!
I showed my hubby a picture of the setting i wanted and he matched it perfectly, so i can't imagine changing it. i love it too much!
I can relate to a lot of the ladies on this thread. My wife-to-be chose a ring set for me all by herself (awfully confident, buying the engagement ring AND wedding band before even proposing! LOL) and she did a great job. I love my ring, but the middle stone is set so high (like 1/4 inch off my finger high) that I just can't comfortably wear it. The rest of the ring is perfect. It took me months to get the balls (so to speak) to tell her I needed to have it reset, but of course she is understanding and amazing. I just hope the jeweler can reset *just* the center stone. Can they do that?
Nope, my setting is PERFECT. I was seriously floored that J picked something so right for me. I guess he does pay attention!
I'd love a ring enhancer that could give my solitaire the look of a halo. But I would hate to permanently change the ring :(
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Beekeeper
I'm wondering if anyone here actually changed their engagement ring setting? Are any engaged bees planning on it? Or, any waiting bees: Would you change it if you didn't like it?
If you would or did change it, would you involve your FI or DH? Would they be okay with you changing it?
If you wouldn't, why not? Did you get to pick it out? Or are you just against the whole idea?